Reading with the Gods: The Lightning Thief
by AnonymousDuo
Summary: Everything is different. Thalia is the demigod of the prophecy, Annabeth is a hunter and Percy is... smart. What happens when the Oracle decides to let them read the Percy Jackson series? A lot of confusion happens!
1. The Arrivals

CHAPTER 1: The Arrivals

Percy and Thalia were walking hand in hand through Camp Half-Blood. It had been two years since the war, and Camp Half-Blood was finally finished rebuilding. They stopped to watch their Apollo friends playing volleyball against the satyrs with a smile on their faces. They were so happy that everyone was finally able to get back to their favourite and normal activities now that everything was finished.

Together, Percy and Thalia walked up Half-Blood Hill and sat under Annabeth's tree next to Peleus, who guarded the Golden Fleece, which had cured the poisoned pine tree, in which Annabeth's spirit had been stuck in for 6 years, and Annabeth had been reborn. Percy was absentmindedly stroking Peleus while Thalia led against his chest, when suddenly there was a blinding flash and they disappeared...

* * *

><p>Connor and Travis Stoll were up to mischief again. They snuck into the Aphrodite Cabin and were replacing all their hair moose with shaving cream. They love pranking. They were chuckling mischievously when they heard people approaching. Frantically, they searched for a place to hide, when there was a blinding flash and they disappeared...<p>

* * *

><p>Nico had just heard the exciting news. Annabeth and the Hunters were visiting! Nico was absolutely ecstatic about seeing Annabeth again. He hadn't seen her for six months. He was running towards the Big House when they saw each other. Nico ran up to her and they hugged each other. They were so excited to see each other again. Together, they walked off to sit on the beach and catch up with each other when there was a blinding flash and they disappeared...<p>

* * *

><p>Bianca was looking down. She was in the Junkyard of the Gods on a Quest to save Artemis. She had just seen an action figure, like the ones her brother, Nico, collects. <em>He hasn't got this one,<em> she thought. _No one will notice if I take it for him... _She was just about to pick up the action figure when there was a blinding flash and she disappeared...

* * *

><p>The Gods were sitting in the throne room on Olympus having a meeting on the Summer Solstice, when there was a blinding flash and six teenagers appeared out of thin air. The Gods were shocked at the arrival, some even falling off their thrones, although Apollo more in pretence then in shock.<p>

Murmurs were heard from the new arrivals: "Where are we?" "Huh... Why are we here?" "What's going on?"...

Then, they noticed all the Olympians and Hades.

"Lord Zeus" they all said in unison, bowing respectfully. Then they bowed to their parents; Percy to Athena, Thalia to Poseidon, Bianca and Nico to Hades, Connor and Travis to Hermes, and Annabeth to Zeus. Then Annabeth and Bianca bowed to Artemis.

All the teenagers now saw each other, and hellos, hugs and greetings were exchanged.

"Bianca!" all the demigods shouted, Nico especially. They had all missed her and ran up and hugged her.

"The reparations are finished! Ohmygods this looks amazing! Percy, you did a fantastic job!" said Annabeth.

"Thanks, Annabeth," replied an awed Percy. He had not seen Annabeth for a very long time, having been away when the Hunters visited camp last.

Meanwhile, the Gods sat there, watching in confusion and surprise, all wondering the same thing: _What is going on here?_

"What is going on here? We haven't called you here..." asked Athena.

"I would like to know that, too," said Annabeth.

"But what are you doing here?" asked an annoyed Dionysus asked. He had had enough Half-Bloods. The meetings on Olympus were the only time he could escape from the brats, but now it seems he cannot even evade them here.

There was another two blinding flashes and Hades and a pile of books appeared.

Thalia walked over to the books, picked up the note and read it out loud.

_Dear Olympians, Hades and Demigods,_

_You are all probably wondering why you have been brought here to Olympus. I thought it would be a good idea, now that everything is sorted and back to normal, that you read about how events would have taken place if positions had been swapped between the Demigods. Therefore, I have enclosed a five part series in which the places of Percy, Annabeth and Thalia have been switched. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I have writing them. Yours sincerely,_

_The Oracle of Delphi._

"Alrighty then... What are these books called?" asked Apollo.

Thalia, being the closest to the books answered, "'Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief', 'Percy Jackson and the Sea of Monsters', 'Percy Jackson on the Titan's Curse', Percy Jackson and the Battle of the Labyrinth' and 'Percy Jackson and the Last Olympian'."

"Ok, let's start reading then," said Percy.

"And seeing as they are about you, you can read first," said Hera, handing Percy the first book, while Zeus materialised some chairs for them all to sit on.

"Ok. Everyone settled?" asked Percy, receiving nods all around in answer. "Good, then let's begin," he said, opening to the first chapter. "The first chapter is called..."


	2. Percy reads about Percy

**Thanks for the reviews! So, here's the second chapter (finally)! Haha hope you like it! And review please!**

_I Accidentally Vaporize My Pre-Algebra Teacher_

"I accidentally vaporize my pre-algebra teacher?"Percy blinked. "That's… interesting."

Annabeth smirked. "Wow."

"Just read." Nico said irritatedly.

Percy cleared his throat.

"**Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood."**

"Neither did I." Nico muttered.

**If you're reading this because you think you might be one, my advice is: close this book right**

**now. Believe whatever lie your mom or dad told you about your birth, and try to lead a normal**

**life.**

"Are all of the books going to be this boring?" Thalia teased.

**Being a half-blood is dangerous. It's scary. Most of the time, it gets you killed in painful,**

**nasty ways.**

"Like Silena." Annabeth said sadly.

**If you're a normal kid, reading this because you think it's fiction, great. Read on. I envy you**

**for being able to believe that none of this ever happened.**

"It actually never did." Apollo mused. "I mean, technically speaking..."

"Let the boy read." Artemis interrupted.

**But if you recognize yourself in these pages—if you feel something stirring inside—stop**

**reading immediately. You might be one of us. **

"Ooh. Suspense." Aphrodite smiled.

**And once you know that, it's only a matter of time before **_**they **_**sense it too, and they'll come for you.**

"Who?" Ares asked.

"Shh!" Aphrodite said. "I like the story."

"It hasn't even _started_." Hades grumbled.

**Don't say I didn't warn you.**

"You're really bad at telling stories, do you know that, Percy?" Bianca giggled.

**My name is Percy Jackson.**

"Finally." Thalia made little cheering noises.

**I'm twelve years old. Until a **_**few **_**months ago, I was a boarding student at Yancy Academy, a**

**private school for troubled kids in upstate New York.**

"Oh, Percy, you troubled kid." Annabeth grinned.

**Am I a troubled kid?**

A couple of the gods murmured their assent.

**Yeah. You could say that.**

"I thought so." Ares growled.

**I could start at any point in my short miserable life to prove it, but things really started going**

**bad last May, when our sixth-grade class took a field trip to Manhattan— twenty-eight mental case kids and two teachers on a yellow school bus, heading to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to**

**look at ancient Greek and Roman stuff.**

"That doesn't sound so bad." Percy thought out loud.

"The son of Athena has spoken." Thalia announced.

**I know—it sounds like torture.**

Everyone laughed.

**Most Yancy field trips were.**

**But Mr. Brunner, our Latin teacher, was leading this trip, so I had hopes.**

"Why would a school for troubled kids teach Latin? I mean, aren't they troubled enough?" Travis pointed out.

"I think I know who Mr. Brunner is." Athena smiled- a rare event.

**Mr. Brunner was this middle-aged guy in a motorized wheelchair. He had thinning hair and a**

**scruffy beard and a frayed tweed jacket, which always smelled like coffee. You wouldn't think**

**he'd be cool, but he told stories and jokes and let us play games in class. He also had this**

**awesome collection of Roman armor and weapons, so he was the only teacher whose class didn't**

**put me to sleep.**

"Percy sleeps in class?" Connor sounded shocked.

"Never!" Travis stared at him.

**I hoped the trip would be okay. At least, I hoped that for once I wouldn't get in trouble.**

**Boy, was I wrong.**

"Percy was wrong?" Connor sounded shocked.

"Never." Travis smirked.

**See, bad things happen to me on field trips. Like at my fifth-grade school, when we went to**

**the Saratoga battlefield, I had this accident with a Revolutionary War cannon. I wasn't aiming for**

**the school bus, but of course I got expelled anyway. And before that, at my fourth-grade school,**

**when we took a behind-the-scenes tour of the Marine World shark pool, I sort of hit the wrong**

**lever on the catwalk and our class took an unplanned swim. And the time before that... Well, you**

**get the idea.**

Thalia laughed. "Well, that's a new Percy."

Percy grinned. "I hope I'm not this... weird for the rest of the series."

**This trip, I was determined to be good.**

"Now _that's_ the Percy we know." Travis said, relieved.

**All the way into the city, I put up with Nancy Bobofit, the freckly, redheaded kleptomaniac**

**girl, hitting my best friend Grover in the back of the head with chunks of peanut butter-and ketchup sandwich.**

"Ugh." Bianca wrinkled her nose. "Peanut butter and ketchup."

**Grover was an easy target. He was scrawny. He cried when he got frustrated. He must've**

**been held back several grades, because he was the only sixth grader with acne and the start of a**

**wispy beard on his chin. On top of all that, he was crippled. He had a note excusing him from PE**

**for the rest of his life because he had some kind of muscular disease in his legs. He walked funny,**

**like every step hurt him, but don't let that fool you. You should've seen him run when it was**

**enchilada day in the cafeteria.**

"Who's Grover?" Annabeth wondered.

"The satyr." Bianca reminded her.

Everyone stared at her, even the gods.

"What satyr?" Annabeth demanded.

Bianca looked at everyone, astounded. Then she realised. "Oh..."

"Oh, what?" Nico asked.

"I'm from this version of the prophecy." She gestured at the books. "And I thought this was a dream!"

"What?" Nico asked, confused. "But... you were at camp with me."

"Never mind." Zeus boomed.

**Anyway, Nancy Bobofit was throwing wads of sandwich that stuck in his curly brown hair,**

**and she knew I couldn't do anything back to her because I was already on probation. The**

**headmaster had threatened me with death by in-school suspension if anything bad, embarrassing,**

**or even mildly entertaining happened on this trip.**

"Percy's definition of entertaining." Connor wondered.

"You mean designing buildings?" Travis asked innocently. "How enetertaining!"

**"I'm going to kill her," I mumbled.**

**Grover tried to calm me down. "It's okay. I like peanut butter."**

"Everyone loves satyrs." Thalia grinned.

**He dodged another piece of Nancy's lunch.**

**"That's it." I started to get up, but Grover pulled me back to my seat.**

**"You're already on probation," he reminded me. "You know who'll get blamed if anything**

**happens."**

"On probation?" Percy felt his mother's disapproving eyes on him.

He fidgeted.

**Looking back on it, I wish I'd decked Nancy Bobofit right then and there. In-school**

**suspension would've been nothing compared to the mess I was about to get myself into.**

**Mr. Brunner led the museum tour.**

**He rode up front in his wheelchair, guiding us through the big echoey galleries, past marble**

**statues and glass cases full of really old black-and-orange pottery.**

"Echoey isn't even a word." Athena looked a little more displeased. "I would have thought that you would know that."

Percy shrugged. "I didn't write this."

**It blew my mind that this stuff had survived for two thousand, three thousand years.**

**He gathered us around a thirteen-foot-tall stone column with a big sphinx on the top, and**

**started telling us how it was a grave marker, a **_**stele, **_**for a girl about our age. He told us about the**

**carvings on the sides. I was trying to listen to what he had to say, because it was kind of interesting, but everybody around me was talking, and every time I told them to shut up, the other teacher chaperone, Mrs. Dodds, would give me the evil eye.**

Athena looked a little mollified when she heard that Percy was interested in the stele.

**Mrs. Dodds was this little math teacher from Georgia who always wore a black leather jacket,**

**even though she was fifty years old. She looked mean enough to ride a Harley right into your**

**locker. She had come to Yancy halfway through the year, when our last math teacher had a**

**nervous breakdown.**

"She sounds nice." Annabeth smirked.

**From her first day, Mrs. Dodds loved Nancy Bobofit and figured I was devil spawn. She**

**would point her crooked finger at me and say, "Now, honey," real sweet, and I knew I was going**

**to get after-school detention for a month.**

"Like I said- she sounds nice." Annabeth laughed.

**One time, after she'd made me erase answers out of old math workbooks until midnight, I told**

**Grover I didn't think Mrs. Dodds was human. He looked at me, real serious, and said, "You're**

**absolutely right."**

"Oh, Percy's first monster!" Aphrodite looked at Percy like he was a baby learning to walk.

**Mr. Brunner kept talking about Greek funeral art.**

**Finally, Nancy Bobofit snickered something about the naked guy on the stele, and I turned**

**around and said, "Will you **_**shut up**_**?"**

"Be nice, Percy." Travis wagged a finger at him.

"Like your math teacher." Connor winked at Annabeth.

Artemis looked like she wanted to blast Connor into pieces for winking at her Hunter.

**It came out louder than I meant it to.**

**The whole group laughed. Mr. Brunner stopped his story.**

**"Mr. Jackson," he said, "did you have a comment?"**

**My face was totally red. I said, "No, sir."**

Thalia stifled a smile.

**Mr. Brunner pointed to one of the pictures on the stele. "Perhaps you'll tell us what this**

**picture represents?"**

**I looked at the carving, and felt a flush of relief, because I actually recognized it. "That's**

**Kronos eating his kids, right?"**

**"Yes," Mr. Brunner said, obviously not satisfied. "And he **_**did **_**this because ..."**

**"Well..." I racked my brain to remember. "Kronos was the king god, and—"**

"God?" Athena looked shocked. "You called Kronos a _god_?"

**"God?" Mr. Brunner asked.**

"Great minds think alike." Apollo laughed, nodding at Athena.

**"Titan," I corrected myself. "And ... he didn't trust his kids, who were the gods. So, um,**

**Kronos ate them, right? But his wife hid baby Zeus, and gave Kronos a rock to eat instead. And**

**later, when Zeus grew up, he tricked his dad, Kronos, into barfing up his brothers and sisters—"**

**"Eeew!" said one of the girls behind me.**

**"—and so there was this big fight between the gods and the Titans," I continued, "and the**

**gods won."**

"Big fight." Zeus snorted. "You call the first Titan war a big fight?"

**Some snickers from the group.**

**Behind me, Nancy Bobofit mumbled to a friend, "Like we're going to use this in real life.**

**Like it's going to say on our job applications, 'Please explain why Kronos ate his kids.'"**

Biance snorted. "We _do _use that in real life, miss peanut-butter-and-ketchup."

**"And why, Mr. Jackson," Brunner said, "to paraphrase Miss Bobofit's excellent question,**

**does this matter in real life?"**

**"Busted," Grover muttered.**

**"Shut up," Nancy hissed, her face even brighter red than her hair.**

Aphrodite wrinkled her nose. "Maybe once we're done reading I should find this girl and give her a makeover."

**At least Nancy got packed, too. Mr. Brunner was the only one who ever caught her saying**

**anything wrong. He had radar ears.**

"And a tail." Thalia added.

**I thought about his question, and shrugged. "I don't know, sir."**

"Percy doesn't know the answer to a question!" Travis said in mock horror.

Connor wagged a disapproving finger at the book. "That's just going too far."

**"I see." Mr. Brunner looked disappointed. "Well, half credit, Mr. Jackson. Zeus did indeed**

**feed Kronos a mixture of mustard and wine, which made him disgorge his other five children,**

**who, of course, being immortal gods, had been living and growing up completely undigested in**

**the Titan's stomach. The gods defeated their father, sliced him to pieces with his own scythe, and**

**scattered his remains in Tartarus, the darkest part of the Underworld. On that happy note, it's time for lunch. Mrs. Dodds, would you lead us back outside?"**

"Until he clawed his way back out, courtesy of Lucy." Thalia muttered.

Percy felt his face go red.

**The class drifted off, the girls holding their stomachs, the guys pushing each other around and**

**acting like doofuses.**

"Doofuses." Athena raised an eyebrow. "Another word that does not exist."

**Grover and I were about to follow when Mr. Brunner said, "Mr. Jackson."**

**I knew that was coming.**

**I told Grover to keep going. Then I turned toward Mr. Brunner. "Sir?"**

**Mr. Brunner had this look that wouldn't let you go— intense brown eyes that could've been a**

**thousand years old and had seen everything.**

"They were a thousand years old." Nico said.

"At _least_." Zeus corrected.

**"You must learn the answer to my question," Mr. Brunner told me.**

**"About the Titans?"**

**"About real life. And how your studies apply to it."**

**"Oh."**

**"What you learn from me," he said, "is vitally important. I expect you to treat it as such. I will**

**accept only the best from you, Percy Jackson."**

"Yes Percy, you must be the best." Travis made a haughty imitation of Chiron.

**I wanted to get angry, this guy pushed me so hard.**

**I mean, sure, it was kind of cool on tournament days, when he dressed up in a suit of Roman**

**armor and shouted: "What ho!'" and challenged us, sword-point against chalk, to run to the board**

**and name every Greek and Roman person who had ever **_**lived, **_**and their mother, and what god**

**they worshipped. But Mr. Brunner expected me to be as good as everybody else, despite the fact**

**that I have dyslexia and attention deficit disorder and I had never made above a C— in my life.**

**No—he didn't expect me to be **_**as good; **_**he expected me to be **_**better. **_**And I just couldn't learn all**

**those names and facts, much less spell them correctly.**

"Percy can't-" Connor began.

"That's enough, you two." Poseidon glared at them irritatedly.

**I mumbled something about trying harder, while Mr. Brunner took one long sad look at the**

**stele, like he'd been at this girl's funeral.**

**He told me to go outside and eat my lunch.**

"The story sounds _so _interesting!" Aphrodite smiled at Percy fondly.

"Eating lunch." Hades grumbled. "A class trip. Very interesting."

**The class gathered on the front steps of the museum, where we could watch the foot traffic along**

**Fifth Avenue.**

**Overhead, a huge storm was brewing, with clouds blacker than I'd ever seen over the city. I**

**figured maybe it was global warming or something, because the weather all across New York**

**state had been weird since Christmas. We'd had massive snow storms, flooding, wildfires from**

**lightning strikes. I wouldn't have been surprised if this was a hurricane blowing in.**

"It was father, of course." Athena rolled her eyes. "So showy."

**Nobody else seemed to notice. Some of the guys were pelting pigeons with Lunchables**

**crackers. Nancy Bobofit was trying to pickpocket something from a lady's purse, and, of course,**

**Mrs. Dodds wasn't seeing a thing.**

"She could have been a daughter of Hermes too." Connor grinned evilly.

Hermes didn't look too happy with that idea.

**Grover and I sat on the edge of the fountain, away from the others. We thought that maybe if**

**we did that, everybody wouldn't know we were from **_**that **_**school—the school for loser freaks who**

**couldn't make it elsewhere.**

"Loser freaks?" Thalia laughed. "Does that make you a loser freak too?"

**"Detention?" Grover asked.**

**"Nah," I said. "Not from Brunner. I just wish he'd lay off me sometimes. I mean—I'm not a**

**genius."**

"Son of Athena is not a genius." Connor said solemnly. "The world is ending."

**Grover didn't say anything for a while. Then, when I thought he was going to give me some**

**deep philosophical comment to make me feel better, he said, "Can I have your apple?"**

"Very philosophical." Apollo agreed. "I think I feel a haiku coming on."

Artemis coughed. "Yes-well-Percy, go on, please."

**I didn't have much of an appetite, so I let him take it.**

**I watched the stream of cabs going down Fifth Avenue, and thought about my mom's**

**apartment, only a little ways uptown from where we sat. I hadn't seen her since Christmas. I**

**wanted so bad to jump in a taxi and head home. She'd hug me and be glad to see me, but she'd be**

**disappointed, too. She'd send me right back to Yancy, remind me that I had to try harder, even if**

**this was my sixth school in six years and I was probably going to be kicked out again. I wouldn't**

**be able to stand that sad look she'd give me.**

"All demigods get kicked out of at least one school." Artemis said sadly. "Something should be done about that."

**Mr. Brunner parked his wheelchair at the base of the handicapped ramp. He ate celery while**

**he read a paperback novel. A red umbrella stuck up from the back of his chair, making it look like**

**a motorized cafe table.**

"Celery?" Annabeth asked incredulously. "He was eating celery?"

"And Percy noticed. Why would you be interested in what Mr. Brunner eats?" Bianca asked.

"Hey, I didn't write this, okay?" Percy said indignantly.

"Actually," Apollo said thoughtfully. "Since the Oracle said..."

"Brother, please." Artemis interrupted him again. "Just let him read."

**I was about to unwrap my sandwich when Nancy Bobofit appeared in front of me with her**

**ugly friends—I guess she'd gotten tired of stealing from the tourists—and dumped her half-eaten**

**lunch in Grover's lap.**

"I'd like to incinerate that girl." Athena grumbled.

"Get Apollo to recite a haiku." Thalia whispered to Annabeth. "Instant combustion guaranteed."

**"Oops." She grinned at me with her crooked teeth. Her freckles were orange, as if somebody**

**had spray-painted her face with liquid Cheetos.**

Aphrodite began listing things that needed to be done about Nancy Bobofit until Apollo threatened to recite a poem if she didn't let Percy read.

The threat worked.

**I tried to stay cool. The school counselor had told me a million times, "Count to ten, get**

**control of your temper." But I was so mad my mind went blank. A wave roared in my ears.**

**I don't remember touching her, but the next thing I knew, Nancy was sitting on her butt in the**

**fountain, screaming, "Percy pushed me!"**

"In the fountain?" Athena glanced at Poseidon surreptitiously.

**Mrs. Dodds materialized next to us.**

**Some of the kids were whispering: "Did you see—"**

**"—the water—"**

**"—like it grabbed her—"**

"The water grabbed her?" Poseidon boomed, clutching his trident tightly.

Dionysus waved a dismissive hand. "Oh, please. Just let the boy finish his fairytale. Go on then, Peter."

**I didn't know what they were talking about. All I knew was that I was in trouble again.**

**As soon as Mrs. Dodds was sure poor little Nancy was okay, promising to get her a new shirt**

**at the museum gift shop, etc., etc., Mrs. Dodds turned on me. There was a triumphant fire in her**

**eyes, as if I'd done something she'd been waiting for all semester. "Now, honey—"**

"Honey?" Aphrodite asked. "Is she a monster or a pre-school teacher?"

**"I know," I grumbled. "A month erasing workbooks."**

**That wasn't the right thing to say.**

"Gee, you think?" Annabeth asked.

**"Come with me," Mrs. Dodds said.**

"Busted." Travis cackled.

**"Wait!" Grover yelped. "It was me. **_**I **_**pushed her."**

**I stared at him, stunned. I couldn't believe he was trying to cover for me. Mrs. Dodds scared**

**Grover to death.**

"What kind of monster is this, anyway?" Ares demanded. "Demigods need a bit of a challenge!"

**She glared at him so hard his whiskery chin trembled.**

**"I don't think so, Mr. Underwood," she said.**

**"But—"**

**"You—**_**will**_**—stay—here."**

Connor and Travis mimicked her silently.

**Grover looked at me desperately.**

**"It's okay, man," I told him. "Thanks for trying."**

**"Honey," Mrs. Dodds barked at me. "**_**Now**_**."**

Ares grumbled again about heroism being under-rated.

**Nancy Bobofit smirked.**

**I gave her my deluxe I'll-kill-you-later stare. Then I turned to face Mrs. Dodds, but she wasn't**

**there. She was standing at the museum entrance, way at the top of the steps, gesturing impatiently at me to come on.**

**How'd she get there so fast?**

"She flew." Connor said solemnly.

"On her Pretty Pony." Travis said, equally solemnly.

"You two are hilarious." Athena said sarcastically. "I wonder, does your sense of humour come from your godly side?"

Travis and Connor waved cheerily at Hermes. Hermes looked like he didn't know whether to be pleased or embarrassed.

**I have moments like that a lot, when my brain falls asleep or something, and the next thing I**

**know I've missed something, as if a puzzle piece fell out of the universe and left me staring at the**

**blank place behind it. The school counselor told me this was part of the ADHD, my brain**

**misinterpreting things.**

"The school counsellor is mad." Annabeth snorted.

**I wasn't so sure.**

**I went after Mrs. Dodds.**

**Halfway up the steps, I glanced back at Grover. He was looking pale, cutting his eyes**

**between me and Mr. Brunner, like he wanted Mr. Brunner to notice what was going on, but Mr.**

**Brunner was absorbed in his novel.**

"Oh, well done Chiron." Athena said sarcastically.

**I looked back up. Mrs. Dodds had disappeared again. She was now inside the building, at the**

**end of the entrance ****hall.**

**Okay, I thought. She's going to make me buy a new shirt for Nancy at the gift shop.**

"That sounds like torture!" Aphrodite said. She looked completely serious.

**But apparently that wasn't the plan.**

**I followed her deeper into the museum. When I finally caught up to her, we were back in the**

**Greek and Roman section.**

**Except for us, the gallery was empty.**

Connor and Travis made spooky noises like ghosts.

**Mrs. Dodds stood with her arms crossed in front of a big marble frieze of the Greek gods. She**

**was making this weird noise in her throat, like growling.**

**Even without the noise, I would've been nervous. It's weird being alone with a teacher,**

**especially Mrs. Dodds. Something about the way she looked at the frieze, as if she wanted to**

**pulverize it...**

A few people snickered.

**"You've been giving us problems, honey," she said.**

Ares raised an eyebrow. "Nice monster."

**I did the safe thing. I said, "Yes, ma'am."**

Thalia snorted. "Very safe."

**She tugged on the cuffs of her leather jacket. "Did you really think you would get away with**

**it?"**

**The look in her eyes was beyond mad. It was evil.**

**She's a teacher, I thought nervously. It's not like she's going to hurt me.**

"Think again." Nico muttered, guessing who the monster was.

**I said, "I'll—I'll try harder, ma'am."**

**Thunder shook the building.**

**"We are not fools, Percy Jackson," Mrs. Dodds said. "It was only a matter of time before we**

**found you out. Confess, and you will suffer less pain."**

Ares looked pleased that she was finally getting ready to pulverise Percy. Annabeth looked at Ares with an expression close to disgust.

**I didn't know what she was talking about.**

**All I could think of was that the teachers must've found the illegal stash of candy I'd been**

**selling out of my dorm room. Or maybe they'd realized I got my essay on **_**Tom Sawyer **_**from the**

**Internet without ever reading the book and now they were going to take away my grade. Or**

**worse, they were going to make me read the book.**

Athena looked like she couldn't believe this was _her_ son she was hearing about.

"_Then again," _She thought. _"I think I've guessed whose son he is in this version."_

**"Well?" she demanded.**

**"Ma'am, I don't..."**

**"Your time is up," she hissed.**

**Then the weirdest thing happened. Her eyes began to glow like barbecue coals. Her fingers**

**stretched, turning into talons. Her jacket melted into large, leathery wings. She wasn't human. She**

**was a shriveled hag with bat wings and claws and a mouth full of yellow fangs, and she was**

**about to slice me to ribbons.**

"A Fu... A Kindly One." Annabeth said in awe. "How unlucky are you, Percy?"

Percy snorted. "If my luck keeps going on this way, I'll be lucky not to get killed."

**Then things got even stranger.**

**Mr. Brunner, who'd been out in front of the museum a minute before, wheeled his chair into**

**the doorway of the gallery, holding a pen in his hand.**

**"What ho, Percy!" he shouted, and tossed the pen through the air.**

"Helpful." Connor smirked.

**Mrs. Dodds lunged at me.**

**With a yelp, I dodged and felt talons slash the air next to my ear. I snatched the ballpoint pen**

**out of the air, but when it hit my hand, it wasn't a pen anymore. It was a sword—Mr. Brunner's**

**bronze sword, which he always used on tournament day.**

"He used a sword in _class_?" Aphrodite looked shocked.

Ares, meanwhile, was nodding his approval. "Good teacher, Chiron. I should talk to him. Give the old horse a one-on-one chat with the war god himself."

Thalia muttered. "If I were the 'old horse', I'd drag my furry behind as far away as possible."

**Mrs. Dodds spun toward me with a murderous look in her eyes.**

**My knees were jelly. My hands were shaking so bad I almost dropped the sword.**

**She snarled, "Die, honey!"**

Bianca snorted. "It must be hard to take a monster seriously when she calls you honey."

"It's hard not to when she's a Kindly One." Annabeth pointed out.

**And she flew straight at me.**

**Absolute terror ran through my body. I did the only thing that came naturally: I swung the**

**sword.**

**The metal blade hit her shoulder and passed clean through her body as if she were made of**

**water. **_**Hisss!**_

**Mrs. Dodds was a sand castle in a power fan. **

Apollo grinned, displaying blindingly white teeth. "Good one, Percy."

Percy couldn't tell whether Apollo was talking about his swordplay or his sense of humour.

**She exploded into yellow powder, vaporized on the spot, leaving nothing but the smell of sulfur and a dying screech and a chill of evil in the air, as if those two glowing red eyes were still watching me.**

**I was alone.**

**There was a ballpoint pen in my hand.**

**Mr. Brunner wasn't there. Nobody was there but me.**

"I'd like to know how Chiron moves so fast in a wheel chair." Hephaestus mused. "Has he rigged the wheelchair? Ingenious centaur, I like him."

**My hands were still trembling. My lunch must've been contaminated with magic mushrooms**

**or something.**

Travis chuckled. "Naughty, naughty."

**Had I imagined the whole thing?**

**I went back outside.**

**It had started to rain.**

**Grover was sitting by the fountain, a museum map tented over his head. Nancy Bobofit was**

**still standing there, soaked from her swim in the fountain, grumbling to her ugly friends. **

Aphrodite looked at Percy in concern. "Was everyone at that school so ugly?"

"I don't know." He pointed out. "I've never been there."

**When she saw me, she said, "I hope Mrs. Kerr whipped your butt."**

**I said, "Who?"**

**"Our **_**teacher. **_**Duh!"**

"Duh!" Connor said, imitating Nancy.

**I blinked. We had no teacher named Mrs. Kerr. I asked Nancy what she was talking about.**

**She just rolled her eyes and turned away.**

**I asked Grover where Mrs. Dodds was.**

**He said, "Who?"**

**But he paused first, and he wouldn't look at me, so I thought he was messing with me.**

**"Not funny, man," I told him. "This is serious."**

**Thunder boomed overhead.**

"Nothing to worry about." Artemis smiled. "Probably father having a temper tantrum."

Zeus muttered something about foolish mortals but he said nothing.

**I saw Mr. Brunner sitting under his red umbrella, reading his book, as if he'd never moved.**

"I'd like to know where he gets a red umbrella." Aphrodite said. "Horribly unattractive."

**I went over to him.**

**He looked up, a little distracted. "Ah, that would be my pen. Please bring your own writing**

**utensil in the future, Mr. Jackson."**

**I handed Mr. Brunner his pen. I hadn't even realized I was still holding it.**

"Bright as usual, eh, Percy?" Hermes winked at him.

**"Sir," I said, "where's Mrs. Dodds?"**

**He stared at me blankly. "Who?"**

**"The other chaperone. Mrs. Dodds. The pre-algebra teacher."**

**He frowned and sat forward, looking mildly concerned. "Percy, there is no Mrs. Dodds on**

**this trip. As far as I know, there has never been a Mrs. Dodds at Yancy Academy. Are you feeling**

**all right?"**

"He's been having too many magic mushrooms." Travis grinned.

Connor laughed.

"That's the end of the first chapter." Percy said, looking up. "Should I go on?"

"I'd like to read." Apollo said. "Maybe I could compose a poem or two, in fact..."

"Why don't I read?" Athena interrupted. "Percy is, after all, my son."

No one could argue with _that_, so they handed the book to Athena.

She cleared her throat and began to read.

xxx

**Well, that's it, then! I hope you guys like it, because I've been working on it for a couple of days now! I realise the characters aren't very realistic, but they're not supposed to be. This is a different version, I mean! And, oh yeah, Bianca is the only character from the Percy Jackson series, the ones by Rick Riordan. And before I forget- disclaimer: I am not a guy named Rick Riordan, I am a 14 year old girl. And, unfortunately, I do not own the series Percy Jackson (which goes right up there next to Harry Potter!). So r&r people! I love getting reviews!**


	3. Athena is Displeased with her Son

_Three Old Ladies Knit the Socks of Death_

"Three old ladies knit the socks of death." Athena read.

Only Hades looked vaguely interested.

**I was used to the occasional weird experience, but usually they were over quickly. This twenty four/ seven hallucination was more than I could handle. For the rest of the school year, the entire campus seemed to be playing some kind of trick on me. The students acted as if they were completely and totally convinced that Mrs. Kerr—a perky blond woman whom I'd never seen in my life until she got on our bus at the end of the field trip—had been our pre-algebra teacher since Christmas.**

"I always knew blonds were evil." Travis said sagely.

Annabeth looked hurt. "Hey!"

"Oh." Travis looked genuinely sorry. "Sorry."

**Every so often I would spring a Mrs. Dodds reference on somebody, just to see if I could trip**

**them up, but they would stare at me like I was psycho.**

Ares sniggered unpleasantly. Athena paused to glare at him. Ares stopped sniggering. Athena's glare could do that to a person.

**It got so I almost believed them—Mrs. Dodds had never existed.**

**Almost.**

**But Grover couldn't fool me. When I mentioned the name Dodds to him, he would hesitate,**

**then claim she didn't exist. But I knew he was lying.**

Connor clapped loudly. "Brilliant deduction, Holmes."

**Something was going on. Something **_**had **_**happened at the museum.**

"Something involving mushrooms." Thalia winked.

**I didn't have much time to think about it during the days, but at night, visions of Mrs. Dodds**

**with talons and leathery wings would wake me up in a cold sweat.**

Hera shuddered. "That sounds disturbing."

Athena glared at Hades. "I thought we agreed that the Furies wouldn't be sent after demigods."

Hades shrugged. "I didn't write this, did I? Ask Jackson- he seems to be the hero of this piece."

Artemis opened her mouth to say something but Zeus boomed.

"Enough!" Lightning crackled overhead.

Everyone fell silent, in case Zeus decided to fry them with his trademark lightning bolt.

**The freak weather continued, which didn't help my mood. One night, a thunderstorm blew**

**out the windows in my dorm room. A few days later, the biggest tornado ever spotted in the**

**Hudson Valley touched down only fifty miles from Yancy Academy. One of the current events**

**we studied in social studies class was the unusual number of small planes that had gone down in**

**sudden squalls in the Atlantic that year.**

Ares was cheerful. This sounded like a promising war. Nothing better than feuding relatives to cheer a god up.

**I started feeling cranky and irritable most of the time. My grades slipped from Ds to Fs. I got**

**into more fights with Nancy Bobofit and her friends. I was sent out into the hallway in almost**

**every class.**

Connor clutched his heart in a mock heart attack.

**Finally, when our English teacher, Mr. Nicoll, asked me for the millionth time why I was too**

**lazy to study for spelling tests, I snapped. I called him an old sot. I wasn't even sure what it**

**meant, but it sounded good.**

Artemis smiled. "That is a very interesting insult."

"She's going to use it on me." Apollo stage-whispered.

**The headmaster sent my mom a letter the following week, making it official: I would not be**

**invited back next year to Yancy Academy.**

Athena paused. "You got _expelled_?"

"Mom!" Percy said exasperatedly. "This isn't me! I mean, it is, but... it's a different story. It's not true!"

**Fine, I told myself. Just fine.**

**I was homesick.**

**I wanted to be with my mom in our little apartment on the Upper East Side, even if I had to**

**go to public school and put up with my obnoxious stepfather and his stupid poker parties.**

"Poker parties?" Dinoysus nodded. "Finally something interesting."

"Your _mom_?" Thalia raised a quizzical eyebrow.

**And yet... there were things I'd miss at Yancy. The **_**view **_**of the woods out my dorm window,**

**the Hudson River in the distance, the smell of pine trees. I'd miss Grover, who'd been a good**

**friend, even if he was a little strange. I worried how he'd survive next year without me.**

**I'd miss Latin class, too—Mr. Brunner's crazy tournament days and his faith that I could do**

**well.**

"You'd miss Latin class?" Travis snorted. "I guess Percy can never change; not even in a fantasy world."

**As exam week got closer, Latin was the only test I studied for. I hadn't forgotten what Mr.**

**Brunner had told me about this subject being life-and-death for me. I wasn't sure why, but I'd**

**started to believe him.**

"Well done." Annabeth smiled.

**The evening before my final, I got so frustrated I threw the **_**Cambridge Guide to Greek Mythology**_

**across my dorm room. Words had started swimming off the page, circling my head, the letters**

**doing one-eighties as if they were riding skateboards. There was no way I was going to remember**

**the difference between Chiron and Charon, or Polydictes and Polydeuces. And conjugating those**

**Latin verbs? Forget it.**

"Chiron and Charon?" Hades sneered. "There's only one centaur who has more than a single brain cell."

"Did you just compliment someone?" Demeter asked, shocked. "Finally! A breakthrough!"

**I paced the room, feeling like ants were crawling around inside my shirt.**

Bianca shuddered.

**I remembered Mr. Brunner's serious expression, his thousand-year-old eyes. **_**I will accept only**_

_**the best from you, Percy Jackson.**_

**I took a deep breath. I picked up the mythology book.**

**I'd never asked a teacher for help before. Maybe if I talked to Mr. Brunner, he could give me**

**some pointers. At least I could apologize for the big fat F I was about to score on his exam. I**

**didn't want to leave Yancy Academy with him thinking I hadn't tried.**

Connor made a dismissive noise. "Percy never gives up."

"Especially when it comes to studying."

"He's very single-minded that way, our Percy is."

**I walked downstairs to the faculty offices. Most of them were dark and empty, but Mr.**

**Brunner's door was ajar, light from his window stretching across the hallway floor.**

**I was three steps from the door handle when I heard voices inside the office. Mr. Brunner**

**asked a question. A voice that was definitely Grover's said **_**"... **_**worried about Percy, sir."**

Ares snickered again.

"Aren't we all?" Thalia murmured.

**I froze.**

**I'm not usually an eavesdropper, but I dare you to try not listening if you hear your best friend**

**talking about you to an adult.**

"Oh, naughty Percy." Connor smirked.

**I inched closer.**

**"... alone this summer," Grover was saying. "I mean, a Kindly One in the **_**school**_**! Now that**

**we know for sure, and **_**they **_**know too—"**

"A Kindly One in the school." Artemis pointed out.

Hades glared at her. "It wasn't my idea. Though it is tempting..."

"Father!" Nico objected.

Hades sighed and leaned back.

**"We would only make matters worse by rushing him," Mr. Brunner said. "We need the boy**

**to mature more."**

**"But he may not have time. The summer solstice deadline— **_**"**_

**"Will have to be resolved without him, Grover. Let him enjoy his ignorance while he still**

**can."**

"Enjoy my ignorance?" Percy said. "That's comforting."

**"Sir, he **_**saw **_**her... ."**

**"His imagination," Mr. Brunner insisted. "The Mist over the students and staff will be enough**

**to convince him of that."**

"Not to mention the mushrooms." Connor joked.

**"Sir, I ... I can't fail in my duties again." Grover's voice was choked with emotion. "You**

**know what that would mean."**

**"You haven't failed, Grover," Mr. Brunner said kindly. "I should have seen her for what she**

**was. Now let's just worry about keeping Percy alive until next fall—"**

"He should." Artemis muttered.

**The mythology book dropped out of my hand and hit the floor with a thud.**

**Mr. Brunner went silent.**

**My heart hammering, I picked up the book and backed down the hall.**

**A shadow slid across the lighted glass of Brunner's office door, the shadow of something**

**much taller than my wheelchair-bound teacher, holding something that looked suspiciously like**

**an archer's bow.**

"Chiron was always good with a bow." Apollo remembered. "Not as good as me of course.

_Archers with..."_

"Let Athena read." Hera interrupted, before Apollo could continue. He looked a little miffed.

**I opened the nearest door and slipped inside.**

**A few seconds later I heard a slow **_**clop-clop-clop, **_**like muffled wood blocks, then a sound like**

**an animal snuffling right outside my door. A large, dark shape paused in front of the glass, then**

**moved on.**

"Percy, you know you just called Chiron an animal?" Nico asked.

"It's not..." Percy sighed. "Never mind."

**A bead of sweat trickled down my neck.**

**Somewhere in the hallway, Mr. Brunner spoke. "Nothing," he murmured. "My nerves haven't**

**been right since the winter solstice."**

**"Mine neither," Grover said. "But I could have sworn ..."**

**"Go back to the dorm," Mr. Brunner told him. "You've got a long day of exams tomorrow."**

**"Don't remind me."**

Connor shuddered. "The horror."

**The lights went out in Mr. Brunner's office.**

**I waited in the dark for what seemed like forever.**

**Finally, I slipped out into the hallway and made my way back up to the dorm.**

**Grover was lying on his bed, studying his Latin exam notes like he'd been there all night.**

**"Hey," he said, bleary-eyed. "You going to be ready for this test?"**

**I didn't answer.**

**"You look awful." He frowned. "Is everything okay?"**

"He is so tactless." Hera said.

**"Just... tired."**

**I turned so he couldn't read my expression, and started getting ready for bed.**

**I didn't understand what I'd heard downstairs. I wanted to believe I'd imagined the whole**

**thing.**

**But one thing was clear: Grover and Mr. Brunner were talking about me behind my back.**

**They thought I was in some kind of danger.**

"No, really?" Annabeth asked sarcastically. "I thought the Kindly One was bringing you sweets."

Even Hades couldn't help but smile at that image.

**The next afternoon, as I was leaving the three-hour Latin exam, my eyes swimming with all the**

**Greek and Roman names I'd misspelled, Mr. Brunner called me back inside.**

**For a moment, I was worried he'd found out about my eavesdropping the night before, but**

**that didn't seem to be the problem.**

**"Percy," he said. "Don't be discouraged about leaving Yancy. It's ... it's for the best."**

**His tone was kind, but the words still embarrassed me. Even though he was speaking quietly,**

**the other kids finishing the test could hear. Nancy Bobofit smirked at me and made sarcastic little**

**kissing motions with her lips.**

Aphrodite wrinkled her face in disgust.

Hephaestus gave a short bark of laughter.

**I mumbled, "Okay, sir."**

**"I mean ..." Mr. Brunner wheeled his chair back and forth, like he wasn't sure what to say.**

**"This isn't the right place for you. It was only a matter of time."**

**My eyes stung.**

**Here was my favorite teacher, in front of the class, telling me I couldn't handle it. After**

**saying he believed in me all year, now he was telling me I was destined to get kicked out.**

Athena paused for a moment, as thought thinking about something, and then continued.

**"Right," I said, trembling.**

**"No, no," Mr. Brunner said. "Oh, confound it all. What I'm trying to say ... you're not normal,**

**Percy. That's nothing to be—"**

"Thanks." Percy said under his breath. "Way to make a guy feel better."

**"Thanks," I blurted. "Thanks a lot, sir, for reminding me."**

Thalia grinned. "I guess this new Percy isn't so different."

**"Percy—"**

**But I was already gone.**

**On the last day of the term, I shoved my clothes into my suitcase.**

**The other guys were joking around, talking about their vacation plans. One of them was**

**going on a hiking trip to Switzerland. Another was cruising the Caribbean for a month. They**

**were juvenile delinquents, like me, but they were **_**rich **_**juvenile delinquents. Their daddies were**

**executives, or ambassadors, or celebrities. I was a nobody, from a family of nobodies.**

"Aren't you Mr. Sunshine?" Annabeth said.

"That would be me." Apollo winked again.

Artemis was losing her patience.

**They asked me what I'd be doing this summer and I told them I was going back to the city.**

**What I didn't tell them was that I'd have to get a summer job walking dogs or selling**

**magazine subscriptions, and spend my free time worrying about where I'd go to school in the fall.**

**"Oh," one of the guys said. "That's cool."**

"No it isn't, you jerk." Bianca muttered.

Percy looked at her, surprised, and she gave him a sheepish smile. "There used to be loads of guys like him at my old school."

**They went back to their conversation as if I'd never existed.**

**The only person I dreaded saying good-bye to was Grover, but as it turned out, I didn't have**

**to. He'd booked a ticket to Manhattan on the same Greyhound as I had, so there we were, together again, heading into the city.**

**During the whole bus ride, Grover kept glancing nervously down the aisle, watching the other**

**passengers. It occurred to me that he'd always acted nervous and fidgety when we left Yancy, as**

**if he expected something bad to happen. Before, I'd always assumed he was worried about getting**

**teased. But there was nobody to tease him on the Greyhound.**

"Getting teased? What for?" Annabeth asked.

Percy shrugged. "I don't know."

**Finally I couldn't stand it anymore.**

**I said, "Looking for Kindly Ones?"**

"Like anyone would _want_ to go looking for them." Thalia muttered.

"I'd rather look at Hades's underwear." Connor said, and then he realised that the gods were in the room. He turned a bright red and muttered something that sounded like "Mimblewimble".

**Grover nearly jumped out of his seat. "Wha—what do you mean?"**

**I confessed about eavesdropping on him and Mr. Brunner the night before the exam.**

**Grover's eye twitched. "How much **_**did **_**you hear?"**

**"Oh ... not much. What's the summer solstice dead-line?"**

**He winced. "Look, Percy ... I was just worried for you, see? I mean, hallucinating about**

**demon math teachers ..."**

"With all the mushrooms."

"Enough with the mushrooms already." Annabeth rolled her eyes. "Now it's just getting lame."

**"Grover—"**

**"And I was telling Mr. Brunner that maybe you were overstressed or something, because there**

**was no such person as Mrs. Dodds, and ..."**

**"Grover, you're a really, really bad liar."**

**His ears turned pink.**

**From his shirt pocket, he fished out a grubby business card. "Just take this, okay? In case you**

**need me this summer."**

"Why didn't Grover just take Percy to camp? I mean, Percy's _obviously_ a half-blood." Bianca wondered.

"Ask him yourself." Travis suggested.

**The card was in fancy script, which was murder on my dyslexic eyes, but I finally made out**

**something like:**

_**Grover Underwood**_

_**Keeper**_

_**Half-Blood Hill**_

_**Long Island, New York**_

_**(800) 009-0009**_

"We have a telephone?" Annabeth was surprised. "That, I never knew."

**"What's Half—"**

**"Don't say it aloud!" he yelped. "That's my, um ... summer address."**

**My heart sank. Grover had a summer home. I'd never considered that his family might be as**

**rich as the others at Yancy.**

"Why would that make you sad, Percy?" Thalia teased.

"Aw, do you need a hug?" Travis wiped away a fake tear and held out his arms.

"Not from you." Percy grinned.

**"Okay," I said glumly. "So, like, if I want to come visit your mansion."**

**He nodded. "Or ... or if you need me."**

**"Why would I need you?"**

**It came out harsher than I meant it to.**

"That wasn't very nice, Percy." Aphrodite scolded.

Artemis rolled her eyes.

**Grover blushed right down to his Adam's apple. "Look, Percy, the truth is, I—I kind of have**

**to protect you."**

**I stared at him.**

**All year long, I'd gotten in fights, keeping bullies away from him. I'd lost sleep worrying that**

**he'd get beaten up next year without me. And here he was acting like he was the one who**

**defended **_**me.**_

"You got into fights?" Ares asked incredulously. "What did you do- bore them to death with Latin verbs? Attack them with your superior vocabulary?"

"Ares!" Athena said warningly.

**"Grover," I said, "what exactly are you protecting me from?"**

**There was a huge grinding noise under our feet. Black smoke poured from the dashboard and**

**the whole bus filled with a smell like rotten eggs. The driver cursed and limped the Greyhound**

**over to the side of the highway.**

"What just happened?" Bianca asked.

"The bus must have broken down." Nico grimaced. "It's not a pretty sight."

**After a few minutes clanking around in the engine compartment, the driver announced that**

**we'd all have to get off. Grover and I filed outside with everybody else.**

**We were on a stretch of country road—no place you'd notice if you didn't break down there.**

**On our side of the highway was nothing but maple trees and litter from passing cars. On the other**

**side, across four lanes of asphalt shimmering with afternoon heat, was an old-fashioned fruit**

**stand.**

"A fruit stand in the middle of nowhere?" Demeter asked. "You have to hand it to mortals- they are very sensible."

"That's why the fruit stand is in the middle of nowhere." Hades smirked.

**The stuff on sale looked really good: heaping boxes of bloodred cherries and apples, walnuts**

**and apricots, jugs of cider in a claw-foot tub full of ice**_**. **_**There were no customers, just three old**

**ladies sitting in rocking chairs in the shade of a maple tree, knitting the biggest pair of socks I'd**

**ever seen.**

"Knitting socks? Hey, isn't that your kind of thing, Percy?" Travis joked.

"Just because my mom invented the loom..." Percy began.

"Your mom is in the room." Hera reminded him.

**I mean these socks were the size of sweaters, but they were clearly socks. The lady on the**

**right knitted one of them. The lady on the left knitted the other. The lady in the middle held an**

**enormous basket of electric-blue yarn.**

"Socks the size of sweaters? They would fit the gods." Thalia commented.

Then she paled as all the gods turned to her. "Just... you're all so tall."

**All three women looked ancient, with pale faces wrinkled like fruit leather, silver hair tied**

**back in white bandannas, bony arms sticking out of bleached cotton dresses.**

**The weirdest thing was, they seemed to be looking right at me.**

"That's old." Travis said.

"Sounds a lot like you, Annabeth." Connor smirked. "Old and single."

Annabeth glared at him.

**I looked over at Grover to say something about this and saw that the blood had drained from**

**his face. His nose was twitching.**

**"Grover?" I said. "Hey, man—"**

**"Tell me they're not looking at you. They are, aren't they?"**

**"Yeah. Weird, huh? You think those socks would fit me?"**

"Unless you're planning to be someone's Christmas present." Bianca laughed.

**"Not funny, Percy. Not funny at all."**

**The old lady in the middle took out a huge pair of scissors—gold and silver, long-bladed, like**

**shears. I heard Grover catch his breath.**

"The Fates." Aphrodite breathed.

"You've just caught on, have you?" Artemis asked.

**"We're getting on the bus," he told me. "Come on."**

**"What?" I said. "It's a thousand degrees in there."**

**"Come on!'" He pried open the door and climbed inside, but I stayed back.**

**Across the road, the old ladies were still watching me. The middle one cut the yarn, and I**

**swear I could hear that **_**snip **_**across four lanes of traffic. Her two friends balled up the electric-blue**

**socks, leaving me wondering who they could possibly be for—Sasquatch or Godzilla.**

"Percy, those socks are obviously for Bigfoot." Connor said, trying to lighten the mood.

**At the rear of the bus, the driver wrenched a big chunk of smoking metal out of the engine**

**compartment. The bus shuddered, and the engine roared back to life.**

**The passengers cheered.**

**"Darn right!" yelled the driver. He slapped the bus with his hat. "Everybody back on board!"**

**Once we got going, I started feeling feverish, as if I'd caught the flu.**

**Grover didn't look much better. He was shivering and his teeth were chattering.**

Apollo snapped his fingers. "What you two needed was some quality healing."

**"Grover?"**

**"Yeah?"**

**"What are you not telling me?"**

**He dabbed his forehead with his shirt sleeve. "Percy, what did you see back at the fruit**

**stand?"**

"Fruits." Travis snorted.

**"You mean the old ladies? What is it about them, man? They're not like ... Mrs. Dodds, are**

**they?"**

"They're not math teachers, if that's what you mean." Annabeth smiled.

**His expression was hard to read, but I got the feeling that the fruit-stand ladies were**

**something much, much worse than Mrs. Dodds. He said, "Just tell me what you ****saw."**

**"The middle one took out her scissors, and she cut the yarn."**

**He closed his eyes and made a gesture with his fingers that might've been crossing himself,**

**but it wasn't. It was something else, something almost—older.**

**He said, "You saw her snip the cord."**

**"Yeah. So?" But even as I said it, I knew it was a big deal.**

"Of course it's a big deal." Percy muttered. "Why is the new me so dumb?"

**"This is not happening," Grover mumbled. He started chewing at his thumb. "I don't want this**

**to be like the last time****.****"**

"What last time?" Annabeth asked.

**"What last time?"**

Annabeth blushed.

**"Always sixth grade. They never get past sixth."**

**"Grover," I said, because he was really starting to scare me. "What are you talking about?"**

"You should be scared." Nico said.

**"Let me walk you home from the bus station. Promise me."**

**This seemed like a strange request to me, but I promised he could.**

**"Is this like a superstition or something?" I asked.**

**No answer.**

Aphrodite's eyes widened. "You won't... die, will you?"

"Oh, brilliant deduction." Artemis sneered.

Aphrodite bristled. "Last I remember, Athena was the wise one."

"Last I remember, you were the dumb one."

"Just because your Hunters are _so_ stuck-up, you can't..."

"Annabeth is worth twelve of you."

"I am the oldest god."

"Congratu..."

"Stop arguing!" Athena said irritably. "The chapter's almost over."

"Yes, your arguments were more than entertaining enough at the winter solstice. You might want to save your insults for the next council of the gods." Dionysus agreed.

**"Grover—that snipping of the yarn. Does that mean somebody is going to die?"**

**He looked at me mournfully, like he was already picking the kind of flowers I'd like best on**

**my coffin.**

"What flowers would you like anyway?" Thalia wondered. "Sorry, just thinking out loud."

"Do you think we're in this series?" Annabeth asked. "I mean, it's been pretty vague so far."

"Only one way to find out!" Apollo said cheerfully. "Who wants to read the next chapter?"

"I will." Poseidon said suddenly. He looked Percy in the eye. "I would like to know more about this... new Percy Jackson."

XXX

**Thanks for the reviews! I appreciate it! Seriously! And about Bianca, she's the only character who's been taken from the series where Percy is a son of Poseidon-all the others are from my messed-up world. So she's going to be in for a shock when she hears of her death, but that comes much later! And I hope I get more reviews!**


	4. Percy's Mom, Meet Percy's Mom

**Thanks for reviewing, all you amazing people out there! And to answer all your questions, comments, etc...**

**Huffleclawmage-Thanks! I think I will haha :D**

**xxAwesomeSaucexx- Percy is a son of Athena, Thalia daughter of Poseidon and Annabeth was the tree. It's like a really weird parody xD Cause if you notice, I changed Luke's name to Lucy xD xD Anyway, Bianca is not dead in U2, and she's been pulled straight from the Junkyard, just before she dies.**

**4blueeyes9- This is for everyone, I realise its confusing :P Bianca is from the original Percy Jackson series, and do the others know that? You'll have to read this chapter to find out muahaha :D**

**PercyxArtemis- Athena has a fit in this chapter ;) But Percy passing out is a nice idea, I might use that!**

**max artemis potter- Yeah, it's not really mentioned, but in this world is a Perlia which had to happen because I mixed everyone up. Personally, I think Percabeth is the best ship ever :P But the Perlia had to happen :'(**

**And everyone else, sorry, Im too lazy to reply to every single review :P Just to the questions, if you have any.**

**So enjoy!**

xxx

**_Grover Unexpectedly Loses His Pants_**

"Grover unexpectedly loses his pants." Poseidon frowned.

"Eew." Aphrodite said.

"Eew yourself." Artemis grumbled.

**Confession time: I ditched Grover as soon as we got to the bus terminal.**

**I know, I know. It was rude. But Grover was freaking me out, looking at me like I was a dead**

**man, muttering "Why does this always happen?" and "Why does it always have to be sixth**

**grade?"**

"Yes, _why_?" Connor mimicked in a heartbroken voice.

"Shut up." Annabeth glared.

For a moment Percy thought that Annabeth was defending him, and then he remembered what had happened to _her_ in sixth grade. He shot her a sympathetic look.

**Whenever he got upset, Grover's bladder acted up, so I wasn't surprised when, as soon as we**

**got off the bus, he made me promise to wait for him, then made a beeline for the restroom.**

"Is that normal satyr behaviour?" Bianca asked. "I mean, I never noticed Grover needing to... use the restroom so much."

"Okay, what are you talking about?" Thalia asked. "You don't even _know_ Grover. None of us do."

Bianca opened her mouth to explain but Athena cut her short. "I think I understand. And so will you all. In time."

Thalia frowned.

**Instead of waiting, I got my suitcase, slipped outside, and caught the first taxi uptown.**

**"East One-hundred-and-fourth and First," I told the driver.**

**A word about my mother, before you meet her.**

"She's smart." Travis said, adjusting imaginary glasses.

**Her name is Sally Jackson and she's the best person in the world, which just proves my theory**

**that the best people have the rottenest luck. Her own parents died in a plane crash when she was**

**five, and she was raised by an uncle who didn't care much about her. She wanted to be a novelist,**

**so she spent high school working to save enough money for a college with a good creativewriting**

**program. Then her uncle got cancer, and she had to quit school her senior year to take**

**care of him. After he died, she was left with no money, no family, and no diploma.**

"That sounds unfortunate." Athena said drily.

Poseidon frowned and glanced at Thalia. Well, if Sally's last name was Jackson now, then his child was... Percy.

"_Sally Jackson."_ He thought. _"Sally Grace sounded better on her."_

**The only good break she ever got was meeting my dad.**

Poseidon smiled, and then frowned again. He was Percy's _dad_. The thought was a little disturbing.

**I don't have any memories of him, just this sort of warm glow, maybe the barest trace of his**

**smile. My mom doesn't like to talk about him because **_**it **_**makes her sad. She has no pictures.**

**See, they weren't married. She told me he was rich and important, and their relationship was a**

**secret. Then one day, he set sail across the Atlantic on some important journey, and he never**

**came back.**

**Lost at sea, my mom told me. Not dead. Lost at sea.**

Aphrodite gasped. "Oh, Percy's dad is Poseidon!"

Before Artemis could retort snappily, Hera said. "Yes, dear. He is."

Poseidon didn't look happy. "It's only a story. It's only a story." He muttered.

**She worked odd jobs, took night classes to get her high school diploma, and raised me on her**

**own. She never complained or got mad. Not even once. But I knew I wasn't an easy kid.**

**Finally, she married Gabe Ugliano, who was nice the first thirty seconds we knew him, then**

**showed his true colors as a world-class jerk. When I was young, I nicknamed him Smelly Gabe.**

"Ugliano." Travis snorted. "I bet he was ugly."

"Elementary, my dear Watson." Connor grinned.

**I'm sorry, but it's the truth. The guy reeked like moldy garlic pizza wrapped in gym shorts.**

**Between the two of us, we made my mom's life pretty hard. The way Smelly Gabe treated**

**her, the way he and I got along ... well, when I came home is a good example.**

Nico laughed. "Moldy garlic pizza?"

**I walked into our little apartment, hoping my mom would be home from work. Instead, Smelly**

**Gabe was in the living room, playing poker with his buddies. The television blared ESPN. Chips**

**and beer cans were strewn all over the carpet.**

Poseidon looked disgusted. It _was_ only a story, but it was also another version of the truth. How could any woman stand a man like Ugliano?

"_This isn't _your_ Sally."_ He reminded himself.

**Hardly looking up, he said around his cigar, "So, you're home."**

**"Where's my mom?"**

**"Working," he said. "You got any cash?"**

"That's it?" Annabeth asked. "What- no welcome back?"

**That was it. No **_**Welcome back. Good to see you. How has your life been the last six months?**_

Everyone laughed again.

"Maybe you should take over the reading, love." Apollo joked.

Annabeth looked like she'd been hit in the face.

"Brother." Artemis chided. "You do not call my Hunters 'love'. You do not flirt with them."

Apollo shrugged nonchalantly, twirling his headphones in his hand.

**Gabe had put on weight. He looked like a tuskless walrus in thrift-store clothes. He had about**

**three hairs on his head, all combed over his bald scalp, as if that made him handsome or**

**something.**

Aphrodite snorted. It was an interesting sound.

"Some men have no sense of fashion." She said.

**He managed the Electronics Mega-Mart in Queens, but he stayed home most of the time. I**

**don't know why he hadn't been fired long before. He just kept on collecting paychecks, spending**

**the money on cigars that made me nauseous, and on beer, of course. Always beer. Whenever I**

**was home, he expected me to provide his gambling funds. He called that our "guy secret."**

"Guy secret?" Athena asked sceptically.

**Meaning, if I told my mom, he would punch my lights out.**

"You haven't met Percy's mom." Travis said seriously. "She could take out your brain cells."

"If Ugliano had any brain cells in the first place." Thalia corrected.

**"I don't have any cash," I told him.**

**He raised a greasy eyebrow.**

**Gabe could sniff out money like a bloodhound, which was surprising, since his own smell**

**should've covered up everything else.**

"Did he really smell that bad?" Aphrodite asked in concern.

"You know what would help?" Demeter asked. "Fruit scented deodorant. Preferably grape."

Bianca hurriedly turned her laugh into a choke.

**"You took a taxi from the bus station," he said. "Probably paid with a twenty. Got six, seven**

**bucks in change. Somebody expects to live under this roof, he ought to carry his own weight. Am**

**I right, Eddie?"**

"Turns out he does have a brain cell. He can count." Travis smirked.

**Eddie, the super of the apartment building, looked at me with a twinge of sympathy. "Come**

**on, Gabe," he said. "The kid just got here."**

**"Am I **_**right**_**?**_**" **_**Gabe repeated.**

**Eddie scowled into his bowl of pretzels. The other two guys passed gas in harmony.**

Dionysus looked more bored than ever. "Johnson, this... step-father of yours can't throw a proper party."

"He should get advice from the party ponies." Thalia laughed.

**"Fine," I said. I dug a wad of dollars out of my pocket and threw the money on the table. "I**

**hope you lose."**

"Manners, Percy." Connor wagged a finger at him.

**"Your report card came, brain boy!" he shouted after me. "I wouldn't act so snooty!"**

**I slammed the door to my room, which really wasn't my room. During school months, it was**

**Gabe's "study." He didn't study anything in there except old car magazines, but he loved shoving**

**my stuff in the closet, leaving his muddy boots on my windowsill, and doing his best to make the**

**place smell like his nasty cologne and cigars and stale beer.**

"That place needs a make-over." Aphrodite murmured.

Artemis couldn't resist a jibe. "It doesn't exist."

Aphrodite pouted.

**I dropped my suitcase on the bed. Home sweet home.**

**Gabe's smell was almost worse than the nightmares about Mrs. Dodds, or the sound of that**

**old fruit lady's shears snipping the yarn.**

"A mortal's smell can be that bad?" Hephaestus asked.

"Percy's just exaggerating, Lord Hephaestus." Annabeth said respectfully.

**But as soon as I thought that, my legs felt weak. I remembered Grover's look of panic—how**

**he'd made me promise I wouldn't go home without him. A sudden chill rolled through me. I felt**

**like someone—something—was looking for me right now, maybe pounding its way up the stairs,**

**growing long, horrible talons.**

"A spider." Travis said with wide eyes.

Percy shuddered. "It's not funny."

**Then I heard my mom's voice. "Percy?"**

Travis and Connor cracked up.

"Are you telling me your mom had talons?" Connor choked.

Poseidon cracked a smile at the image of Athena with talons.

**She opened the bedroom door, and my fears melted.**

**My mother can make me feel good just by walking into the room. Her eyes sparkle and**

**change color in the light. Her smile is as warm as a quilt. She's got a few gray streaks mixed in**

**with her long brown hair, but I never think of her as old. When she looks at me, it's like she's**

**seeing all the good things about me, none of the bad. I've never heard her raise her voice or say an**

**unkind word to anyone, not even me or Gabe.**

"She sounds nice." Annabeth said wistfully, remembering her own mother.

**"Oh, Percy." She hugged me tight. "I can't believe it. You've grown since Christmas!"**

"Everyone grows, Mrs. Jackson." Travis shook his head.

"Unless you've been cursed by the Aphrodite cabin." Connor muttered. "Then your clothes shrink. Or grow."

**Her red-white-and-blue Sweet on America uniform smelled like the best things in the world:**

**chocolate, licorice, and all the other stuff she sold at the candy shop in Grand Central. She'd**

**brought me a huge bag of "free samples," the way she always did when I came home.**

"Did she steal them?" Travis asked eagerly.

**We sat together on the edge of the bed. While I attacked the blueberry sour strings, she ran**

**her hand through my hair and demanded to know everything I hadn't put in my letters. She didn't**

**mention anything about my getting expelled. She didn't seem to care about that. But was I okay?**

**Was her little boy doing all right?**

Poseidon sighed. Apparently the characters in this story were very much like the people in real life, because this new Sally reminded him of Thalia's mother- Sally.

**I told her she was smothering me, and to lay off and all that, but secretly, I was really, really**

**glad to see her.**

Percy suddenly bit back a laugh at the picture of Athena taking the place of Sally Jackson.

**From the other room, Gabe yelled, "Hey, Sally—how about some bean dip, huh?"**

**I gritted my teeth.**

**My mom is the nicest lady in the world. She should've been married to a millionaire, not to**

**some jerk like Gabe.**

Demeter nodded. "No appreciation for agriculture."

Everyone wondered where agriculture had come in to the story.

**For her sake, I tried to sound upbeat about my last days at Yancy Academy. I told her I wasn't**

**too down about the expulsion.**

"What explosion?" Connor asked, wide-eyed.

Poseidon rolled his eyes. "Ex_pul_sion."

"Oh." Connor looked disappointed.

**I'd lasted almost the whole year this time. I'd made some new**

**friends. I'd done pretty well in Latin. And honestly, the fights hadn't been as bad as the**

**headmaster said. I liked Yancy Academy. I really did. I put such a good spin on the year, I almost**

**convinced myself. I started choking up, thinking about Grover and Mr. Brunner. Even Nancy**

**Bobofit suddenly didn't seem so bad.**

"Right..." Annabeth snorted.

**Until that trip to the museum ...**

**"What?" my mom asked. Her eyes tugged at my conscience, trying to pull out the secrets.**

**"Did something scare you?"**

**"No, Mom."**

"Because Percy's never scared." Travis mocked.

**I felt bad lying. I wanted to tell her about Mrs. Dodds and the three old ladies with the yarn,**

**but I thought it would sound stupid.**

Athena pursed her lips. "Stupid? You thought being attacked would sound _stupid_?"

Percy couldn't make up his mind whether he was being scolded for taking the attack so lightly, or for not using a better vocabulary.

**She pursed her lips. She knew I was holding back, but she didn't push me.**

**"I have a surprise for you," she said. "We're going to the beach."**

**My eyes widened. "Montauk?"**

**"Three nights—same cabin."**

**"When?"**

**She smiled. "As soon as I get changed."**

"I love the beach." Thalia grinned.

"So says the daughter of Poseidon." Annabeth laughed.

Bianca suddenly snorted. The Thalia Grace _she'd_ known hadn't been so... friendly. She tried to imagine that Thalia at the beach and failed.

**I couldn't believe it. My mom and I hadn't been to Montauk the last two summers, because**

**Gabe said there wasn't enough money.**

**Gabe appeared in the doorway and growled, "Bean dip, Sally? Didn't you hear me?"**

**I wanted to punch him, but I met my mom's eyes and I understood she was offering me a**

**deal: be nice to Gabe for a little while. Just until she was ready to leave for Montauk. Then we**

**would get out of here.**

"You should have punched him, kid." Ares advised. "Nothing better than a fight to cheer you up."

Percy tried not to look sceptical.

**"I was on my way, honey," she told Gabe. "We were just talking about the trip."**

**Gabe's eyes got small. "The trip? You mean you were serious about that?"**

"No." Nico said under his breath. "She was just kidding about wanting to get away from you."

**"I knew it," I muttered. "He won't let us go."**

**"Of course he will," my mom said evenly. "Your stepfather is just worried about money.**

**That's all. Besides," she added, "Gabriel won't have to settle for bean dip. I'll make him enough**

**seven-layer dip for the whole weekend. Guacamole. Sour cream. The works."**

Connor sighed. "Percy, do you think your mom could make some for me too?"

"It would be my pleasure." Athena said sarcastically.

Everyone laughed as Connor turned bright red.

**Gabe softened a bit. "So this money for your trip ... it comes out of your clothes budget,**

**right?"**

Aphrodite looked horrified.

**"Yes, honey," my mother said.**

**"And you won't take my car anywhere but there and back."**

**"We'll be very careful."**

**Gabe scratched his double chin. "Maybe if you hurry with that seven-layer dip ... And maybe**

**if the kid apologizes for interrupting my poker game."**

"Mortals," Dionysus muttered. "Have a twisted idea of fun."

**Maybe if I kick you in your soft spot, I thought. And make you sing soprano for a week.**

Artemis winced. "Hearing my brother is bad enough."

"Hey!" Apollo objected. "You just broke my concentration. I've been composing a poem about Percy's life so far."

All the Olympians looked relieved.

**But my mom's eyes warned me not to make him mad.**

**Why did she put up with this guy? I wanted to scream. Why did she care what he thought?**

"Good question, actually." Poseidon murmured to himself.

**"I'm sorry," I muttered. "I'm really sorry I interrupted your incredibly important poker game.**

**Please go back to it right now."**

**Gabe's eyes narrowed. His tiny brain was probably trying to detect sarcasm in my statement.**

**"Yeah, whatever," he decided.**

Nico snorted. "Even _I _can recognise sarcasm."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Annabeth asked,

Nico shrugged.

**He went back to his game.**

**"Thank you, Percy," my mom said. "Once we get to Montauk, we'll talk more about...**

**whatever you've forgotten to tell me, okay?"**

"You should have just told her." Athena said disapprovingly.

**For a moment, I thought I saw anxiety in her eyes—the same fear I'd seen in Grover during**

**the bus ride—as if my mom too felt an odd chill in the air.**

**But then her smile returned, and I figured I must have been mistaken. She ruffled my hair and**

**went to make Gabe his seven-layer dip.**

Connor sighed again.

**An hour later we were ready to leave.**

**Gabe took a break from his poker game long enough to watch me lug my mom's bags to the**

**car. He kept griping and groaning about losing her cooking—and more important, his '78**

**Camaro—for the whole weekend.**

"He didn't help you?" Aphrodite asked.

"Obviously not." Artemis said. "He's not exactly Mr. Sunshine."

"Stop saying that." Apollo said.

**"Not a scratch on this car, brain boy," he warned me as I loaded the last bag. "Not one little**

**scratch."**

"Yeah, brain boy." Travis grinned.

"You mean bird-brain." Thalia punched Percy affectionately.

"Like Percy's going to be the one driving." Annabeth scoffed.

**Like I'd be the one driving. **

Travis and Connor roared with laughter.

"Maybe you should read next." Thalia suggested, smiling.

"Maybe I will." Annabeth blushed.

**I was twelve. But that didn't matter to Gabe. If a seagull so much**

**as pooped on his paint job, he'd find a way to blame me.**

"It'd probably be your dad, then." Travis smirked at Thalia.

"He doesn't turn into seagulls just so that he could poop on someone's car." Thalia shot back.

"I might make an exception for you two." Poseidon looked at the Stoll brothers.

**Watching him lumber back toward the apartment building, I got so mad I did something I**

**can't explain. As Gabe reached the doorway, I made the hand gesture I'd seen Grover make on the**

**bus, a sort of warding-off-evil gesture, a clawed hand over my heart, then a shoving movement**

**toward Gabe. The screen door slammed shut so hard it whacked him in the butt and sent him**

**flying up the staircase as if he'd been shot from a cannon. Maybe it was just the wind, or some**

**freak accident with the hinges, but I didn't stay long enough to find out.**

"That is one powerful demigod." Thalia said.

**I got in the Camaro and told my mom to step on it.**

**Our rental cabin was on the south shore, way out at the tip of Long Island. It was a little pastel**

**box with faded curtains, half sunken into the dunes. There was always sand in the sheets and**

**spiders in the cabinets, and most of the time the sea was too cold to swim in.**

"Spiders?"Percy asked.

**I loved the place.**

Travis chuckled. "I bet you did."

**We'd been going there since I was a baby. My mom had been going even longer. She never**

**exactly said, but I knew why the beach was special to her. It was the place where she'd met my**

**dad.**

"How sweet!" Aphrodite smiled.

**As we got closer to Montauk, she seemed to grow younger, years of worry and work**

**disappearing from her face. Her eyes turned the color of the sea.**

"Is that even possible?" Bianca wondered.

**We got there at sunset, opened all the cabin's windows, and went through our usual cleaning**

**routine. We walked on the beach, fed blue corn chips to the seagulls, and munched on blue jelly**

**beans, blue saltwater taffy, and all the other free samples my mom had brought from work.**

"Blue?" Annabeth raised an eyebrow. "Why is everything blue?"

"He's the son of the sea god." Connor said, as if that explained everything.

"Seaweed brain, then." Annabeth smirked. "I should have thought that up for Thalia."

**I guess I should explain the blue food.**

**See, Gabe had once told my mom there was no such thing. They had this fight, which seemed**

**like a really small thing at the time. But ever since, my mom went out of her way to eat blue. She**

**baked blue birthday cakes. She mixed blueberry smoothies. She bought blue-corn tortilla chips**

**and brought home blue candy from the shop. This—along with keeping her maiden name,**

**Jackson, rather than calling herself Mrs. Ugliano—was proof that she wasn't totally suckered by**

**Gabe. She did have a rebellious streak, like me.**

"Percy has a rebellious streak?" Travis looked shocked.

**When it got dark, we made a fire. We roasted hot dogs and marshmallows. Mom told me**

**stories about when she was a kid, back before her parents died in the plane crash. She told me**

**about the books she wanted to write someday, when she had enough money to quit the candy**

**shop.**

"She wants to be a writer?" Athena asked thoughtfully.

**Eventually, I got up the nerve to ask about what was always on my mind whenever we came**

**to Montauk—my father. Mom's eyes went all misty. I figured she would tell me the same things**

**she always did, but I never got tired of hearing them.**

**"He was kind, Percy," she said. "Tall, handsome, and powerful. But gentle, too. You have his**

**black hair, you know, and his green eyes."**

Everyone looked at Poseidon.

"What?" He scowled. "Percy isn't _really_ my son."

**Mom fished a blue jelly bean out of her candy bag. "I wish he could see you, Percy. He**

**would be so proud."**

"What's so great about Percy?" Annabeth smiled at Percy to let him know she was joking.

**I wondered how she could say that. What was so great about me? **

"What she said." Travis jerked a finger towards Annabeth.

Annabeth made up her mind not to comment unnecessarily.

**A dyslexic, hyperactive boy with a D+ report card, kicked out of school for the sixth time in six years.**

**"How old was I?" I asked. "I mean ... when he left?"**

**She watched the flames. "He was only with me for one summer, Percy. Right here at this beach. This cabin."**

**"But... he knew me as a baby."**

**"No, honey. He knew I was expecting a baby, but he never saw you. He had to leave before**

**you were born."**

"Aw." Aphrodite said sadly.

**I tried to square that with the fact that I seemed to remember ... something about my father. A**

**warm glow. A smile.**

Percy sneaked a glance at Poseidon and tried to imagine him smiling. Sure, he had crinkles around his eyes, but he never smiled when Percy was around.

**I had always assumed he knew me as a baby. My mom had never said it outright, but still, I'd**

**felt it must be true. Now, to be told that he'd never even seen me ...**

**I felt angry at my father. Maybe it was stupid, but I resented him for going on that ocean**

**voyage, for not having the guts to marry my mom. He'd left us, and now we were stuck with**

**Smelly Gabe.**

"Your son just called you a coward."Ares smirked, watching Poseidon's reaction.

"He is _not_ my son." Poseidon sighed.

Ares looked disappointed that there hadn't been a fight.

**"Are you going to send me away again?" I asked her. "To another boarding school?"**

**She pulled a marshmallow from the fire.**

**"I don't know, honey." Her voice was heavy. "I think ... I think we'll have to do something."**

"She should have sent you already." Athena said disapprovingly.

**"Because you don't want me around?" I regretted the words as soon as they were out.**

**My mom's eyes welled with tears. She took my hand, squeezed it tight. "Oh, Percy, no. I—I**

_**have **_**to, honey. For your own good. I have to send you away."**

Athena frowned. "Your mother isn't very bright, is she?"

"Don't insult Sally." Poseidon said threateningly, before remembering that it was only a story.

There was an awkward silence.

**Her words reminded me of what Mr. Brunner had said—that it was best for me to leave**

**Yancy.**

**"Because I'm not normal," I said.**

Annabeth opened her mouth to say something, and then thought better of it.

**"You say that as if it's a bad thing, Percy. But you don't realize how important you are. I**

**thought Yancy Academy would be far enough away. I thought you'd finally be safe."**

**"Safe from what?"**

"From the monsters, of course." Thalia smiled. "It doesn't take much brain work to realise that your math teacher was a monster."

"It's easy for you to say _now_." Percy grumbled. "Besides, this isn't me!"

**She met my eyes, and a flood of memories came back to me—all the weird, scary things that**

**had ever happened to me, some of which I'd tried to forget.**

**During third grade, a man in a black trench coat had stalked me on the playground. When the**

**teachers threatened to call the police, he went away growling, but no one believed me when I told**

**them that under his broad-brimmed hat, the man only had one eye, right in the middle of his head.**

"He sounds like someone we know." Percy nudged Thalia. "Just that our friend is nicer."

"Who?" Annabeth asked.

"Tyson. You've never met him." Percy explained.

**Before that—a really early memory. I was in preschool, and a teacher accidentally put me**

**down for a nap in a cot that a snake had slithered into. My mom screamed when she came to pick**

**me up and found me playing with a limp, scaly rope I'd somehow managed to strangle to death**

**with my meaty toddler hands.**

"Hercules." Travis flexed his muscles.

Artemis looked irritated at the mention of his name.

**In every single school, something creepy had happened, something unsafe, and I was forced**

**to move.**

**I knew I should tell my mom about the old ladies at the fruit stand, and Mrs. Dodds at the art**

**museum, about my weird hallucination that I had sliced my math teacher into dust with a sword.**

**But I couldn't make myself tell her. I had a strange feeling the news would end our trip to**

**Montauk, and I didn't want that.**

Athena muttered something that sounded like, "Not my son."

**"I've tried to keep you as close to me as I could," my mom said. "They told me that was a**

**mistake. But there's only one other option, Percy—the place your father wanted to send you. And**

**I just... I just can't stand to do it."**

Athena couldn't help it. "We're lucky that this isn't the reality. Because this woman... seems incapable of doing anything sensible."

Percy rolled his eyes, but he couldn't help secretly liking 'this woman' in the book.

**"My father wanted me to go to a special school?"**

**"Not a school," she said softly. "A summer camp."**

**My head was spinning. Why would my dad—who hadn't even stayed around long enough to**

**see me born— talk to my mom about a summer camp? And if it was so important, why hadn't she**

**ever mentioned it before?**

"Selfish." Athena grumbled.

**"I'm sorry, Percy," she said, seeing the look in my eyes. "But I can't talk about it. I—I**

**couldn't send you to that place. It might mean saying good-bye to you for good."**

"Percy's mom just loved him." Aphrodite explained patiently.

"I _am_ his mom." Athena snapped.

"Ladies, please." Apollo said. "This is just a _story_."

"It's not a story." Athena objected. "It's another version of what happened. If Poseidon's child had been born as a boy... then his mother would have been an incapable..."

"That's my mom you're talking about." Thalia said quietly.

"Sally Jackson is not Sally Grace." Athena said. "Sally Grace is a better parent than Sally Jackson."

"And Sally Jackson is a better parent than you." Aphrodite snapped.

Athena turned on her. "And you have experience in that line, do you? Just look at your children. Arrogant, selfish, shallow..."

"What about Silena Beauregard?" Aphrodite retorted. "Selfish, was she?"

"A spy for the enemy." Athena said triumphantly. "She..."

"Stop!" Zeus yelled. "Enough of your... bickering! Brother, _please_, just read!"

**"For good? But if it's only a summer camp ..."**

**She turned toward the fire, and I knew from her expression that if I asked her any more**

**questions she would start to cry.**

"And that would certainly be a shame." Athena muttered under her breath.

**That night I had a vivid dream.**

**It was storming on the beach, and two beautiful animals, a white horse and a golden eagle,**

**were trying to kill each other at the edge of the surf. The eagle swooped down and slashed the**

**horse's muzzle with its huge talons. The horse reared up and kicked at the eagles wings. As they**

**fought, the ground rumbled, and a monstrous voice chuckled somewhere beneath the earth,**

**goading the animals to fight harder.**

Everyone looked at Zeus and Poseidon.

"So we were having an argument." Poseidon shrugged. "You all know how often that happens."

**I ran toward them, knowing I had to stop them from killing each other, but I was running in**

**slow motion. I knew I would be too late. I saw the eagle dive down, its beak aimed at the horse's**

**wide eyes, and I screamed, **_**No!**_

**I woke with a start.**

"Demigod dreams suck." Connor said.

"First sensible thing you've said today." Hephaestus rumbled.

**Outside, it really was storming, the kind of storm that cracks trees and blows down houses.**

**There was no horse or eagle on the beach, just lightning making false daylight, and twenty-foot**

**waves pounding the dunes like artillery.**

**With the next thunderclap, my mom woke. She sat up, eyes wide, and said, "Hurricane."**

"That early in the summer?" Athena asked sceptically.

"For the goddess of thought, you're not particularly bright." Aphrodite sneered. "We just read about Lord Zeus and Lord Poseidon's argument."

"I meant..." Athena began, but Poseidon quickly continued with his reading.

Athena scowled and settled down.

**I knew that was crazy. Long Island never sees hurricanes this early in the summer. But the**

**ocean seemed to have forgotten. Over the roar of the wind, I heard a distant bellow, an angry,**

**tortured sound that made my hair stand on end.**

"Probably your step-father." Hermes muttered, earning a few snorts.

**Then a much closer noise, like mallets in the sand. A desperate voice—someone yelling,**

**pounding on our cabin door.**

**My mother sprang out of bed in her nightgown and threw open the lock.**

**Grover stood framed in the doorway against a backdrop of pouring rain. But he wasn't... he**

**wasn't exactly Grover.**

"What was he then?" Aphrodite asked. "If he wasn't _exactly_ Grover."

**"Searching all night," he gasped. "What were you thinking?"**

**My mother looked at me in terror—not scared of Grover, but of why he'd come.**

**"Percy," she said, shouting to be heard over the rain. "What happened at school? What didn't**

**you tell me?"**

"What you _should_ have told her." Athena mumbled.

"Mom," Percy said exasperatedly. "Please, don't do this for all five of the books. This. Is. Not. Me."

**I was frozen, looking at Grover. I couldn't understand what I was seeing.**

"Grover?" Travis suggested. "Maybe you were seeing Grover?"

"Good job, Sherlock." Thalia laughed. "I never would've guessed."

_**"O Zeu kai alloi theoi!" **_**he yelled. "It's right behind me! Didn't you **_**tell **_**her?"**

**I was too shocked to register that he'd just cursed in Ancient Greek, and I'd understood him**

**perfectly. I was too shocked to wonder how Grover had gotten here by himself in the middle of**

**the night. Because Grover didn't have his pants on—and where his legs should be ... where his**

**legs should be ...**

"What kind of friend runs to you in the middle of the night half-naked? And I don't mean shirt-less, I mean pant-less." Connor pointed out.

"He's a satyr." Aphrodite explained.

"Oh, well spotted." Athena said sarcastically.

Aphrodite flushed but said nothing.

**My mom looked at me sternly and talked in a tone she'd never used before: **_**"Percy. **_**Tell me**

_**now**_**!"**

**I stammered something about the old ladies at the fruit stand, and Mrs. Dodds, and my mom**

**stared at me, her face deathly pale in the flashes of lightning.**

"Finally." Annabeth grinned, glancing at Athena.

**She grabbed her purse, tossed me my rain jacket, and said, "Get to the car. Both of you. **_**Go**_**!**_**"**_

**Grover ran for the Camaro—but he wasn't running, exactly. He was trotting, shaking his**

**shaggy hindquarters, and suddenly his story about a muscular disorder in his legs made sense to**

**me. I understood how he could run so fast and still limp when he walked.**

**Because where his feet should be, there were no feet. There were cloven hooves.**

"Percy's figured it out." Thalia cheered.

"Let's hope this gets more interesting." Hades grumbled. "I'd rather raise Charon's salary than listen to five more books of this rubbish."

"Lord Poseidon, may I read next?" Annabeth asked.

Poseidon nodded curtly and floated the book over to Annabeth. He seemed lost in thought.

Annabeth flipped to the next page.

xxx

**So that's it for now. I might submit a fifth chapter later on today. I know that the characters aren't really realistic, and I'm REAAALLY sorry about that, but that's the only way to make it interesting. I personally like the Athena/Aphrodite fight, though it's a little weird. Don't forget to review, peeps! Flames, anything. It doesn't take long to click the little review button and add a smiley face or whatever! :)**


	5. Nobody Is Happy

**Once again, I just love seeing new reviews. Sorry I didn't update :P My mom made my clean the house :O**

**Amian4ever- Haha, I know. My friend and I came upwith two ideas, version 1- Everything is normal and they just go back in time to read, and this is version 2. We both thought version 2 was more original (and fun to write muahaha) so we picked it. But I'll have you know, I don't like Perlia either. I don't like Percy with **_**anyone**_** other than Annabeth :P (Btw are you a 39 clues fan? I noticed the name :P )**

**Percabethjiper- Thanks :D Just curious, do you think Athena or Sally Jackson is a better mom?**

**Slytherinprincess97- No I did not :O Thank you so much, this chapter is dedicated to you :D I'll bring in Grover sometime in the series and Tyson in the next book, but Sally can drop in here! Perfect thank you **_**so**_** much!**

_~Dedicated to slytherinprincess97~__My Mother Teaches Me Bullfighting_

"My mother..." Annabeth paused. "My mother teaches me bullfighting."

Some of the braver Olypmpians smiled. Aphrodtie gave a tinkling laugh.

"It's not talking about _me_, you airhead." Athena sneered.

Suddenly there was a flash of light and a woman appeared in the middle of the room. A hushed silence fell over everyone.

She straightened and looked up at the gods, seemingly speechless. Then her eyes met Percy's and she ran up to him and hugged him.

"Oh, Percy, it's good to see you! All those worrying messages from camp! Did you call me here, sweetheart?" she asked fondly.

Percy pulled away and stared at her, blinking.

Athena scowled. "Who are you?" She asked, though she already knew the answer.

The woman bowed respectfully, remembering whose presence she was in.

"Sally Jackson, my lady."

Athena's eyes flashed with irritation. "Sally _Jackson_?"

Sally nodded. "Percy's mother."

"What kind of joke is this, Apollo?" Hephaestus rumbled.

"What are you talking about?" Apollo asked, offended. "This wasn't my idea."

"It's _your_ Oracle." Hades glared.

Apollo glared back. "My Oracle could have explained this if she weren't a _mummy_."

"Why don't you blame your father?" Hades muttered.

"You dare accuse me? I _warned_ you to..." Zeus began.

"Oh, please." Artemis waved a hand dismissively. "This poor woman clearly believes Percy is her son."

"What do you mean?" Sally asked slowly. "My lady." She added belatedly.

Artemis looked uncomfortable. "Well..."

"Sally, dear, you're not Percy's mother." Aphrodite smiled kindly.

"Shut up!" Artemis snapped. She turned to Sally. "This is going to be a little difficult to explain. But you... we both come from alternate realities. So..."

"So this is a different version of the prophecy." Sally guessed.

"I guess she's not so dumb, is she, Athena?" Aphrodite looked spitefully at Athena.

Athena snorted. "She's smarter than you, for sure."

"So," Sally looked sad. "Who is Percy's godly parent?"

"I am." Athena said sternly.

Sally bit her lip. "So, should I just... leave?"

"No." Artemis interrupted before Athena or Aphrodite could say anything. "If you've been brought here, then you must stay."

Artemis paused to smile benignly at Sally. "Have a seat anywhere you like. Annabeth, my dear, go on."

**We tore through the night along dark country roads. Wind slammed against the Camaro. Rain**

**lashed the windshield. I didn't know how my mom could see anything, but she kept her foot on**

**the gas.**

"I'm sorry." Sally interrupted. "But what's happening?"

"We're reading about you." Aphrodite beamed. "And your son Percy. The alternate reality."

**Every time there was a flash of lightning, I looked at Grover sitting next to me in the backseat**

**and I wondered if I'd gone insane, or if he was wearing some kind of shag-carpet pants. But, no,**

**the smell was one I remembered from kindergarten field trips to the petting zoo— lanolin, like**

**from wool. The smell of a wet barnyard animal.**

"A llama, probably." Connor tried to ease the awkwardness in the room.

"Or a camel." Travis smirked. "They stink."

"Like you." Annabeth snorted.

**All I could think to say was, "So, you and my mom... know each other?"**

**Graver's eyes flitted to the rearview mirror, though there were no cars behind us. "Not**

**exactly," he said. "I mean, we've never met in person. But she knew I was watching you."**

**"Watching me?"**

"It's called stalking." Travis said in a spooky voice.

**"Keeping tabs on you. Making sure you were okay. But I wasn't faking being your friend," he**

**added hastily. "I **_**am **_**your friend."**

"And stalker." Connor added.

**"Urn ... what **_**are **_**you, exactly?"**

"A camel." Bianca giggled.

**"That doesn't matter right now."**

**"It doesn't matter? From the waist down, my best friend is a donkey—"**

Everyone in the room smirked.

**Grover let out a sharp, throaty **_**"Blaa-ha-ha!"**_

**I'd heard him make that sound before, but I'd always assumed it was a nervous laugh. Now I**

**realized it was more of an irritated bleat.**

"Do camels bleat?" Travis wondered.

"Eggs do." Connor said, trying to keep a straight face.

"Yeah, but eggs aren't barnyard animals." Travis said seriously.

"True." Connor concluded, and the two of them pretended to be thinking seriously.

**"Goat!" he cried.**

**"What?"**

**"I'm a **_**goat **_**from the waist down."**

**"You just said it didn't matter."**

Thalia snorted. "You are _so_ tactless, Percy. And _so_ dumb."

"Thanks." He grinned.

_**"Blaa-ha-ha! **_**There are satyrs who would trample you underhoof for such an insult!"**

**"Whoa. Wait. Satyrs. You mean like ... Mr. Brunner's myths?"**

"Exactly like those myths." Athena said irritatedly. "You're slow on the uptake." She glared at Sally, as though it were somehow her fault.

Sally ignored her and kept her eyes firmly on Annabeth, who was reading. Every now and then, she would look at Percy with affection. Athena had never looked at her son that way and it bothered her.

**"Were those old ladies at the fruit stand a **_**myth, **_**Percy? Was Mrs. Dodds a myth?"**

"**So you **_**admit **_**there was a Mrs. Dodds!"**

"Of course." Thalia smiled.

**"Of course."**

Annabeth grinned. "Maybe you should read next."

**"Then why—"**

**"The less you knew, the fewer monsters you'd attract," Grover said, like that should be**

**perfectly obvious. "We put Mist over the humans' eyes. We hoped you'd think the Kindly One**

**was a hallucination. But it was no good. You started to realize who you are."**

"Percy," Travis said solemnly. "You're a wizard. You've been accepted at Hogwarts."

Thalia laughed. "Don't make fun of Harry Potter."

**"Who I—wait a minute, what do you mean?"**

**The weird bellowing noise rose up again somewhere behind us, closer than before. Whatever**

**was chasing us was still on our trail.**

"Percy has another stalker." Connor joked.

"I wonder if this one has hooves." Travis said thoughtfully.

**"Percy," my mom said, "there's too much to explain and not enough time. We have to get you**

**to safety."**

**"Safety from what? Who's after me?"**

**"Oh, nobody much," Grover said, obviously still miffed about the donkey comment. "Just the**

**Lord of the Dead and a few of his blood-thirstiest minions."**

Artemis glared pointedly at Hades.

"We've been through this." He sighed. "It wasn't me."

"Technically..." Apollo began.

"Shut up." Artemis and Hades said simultaneously.

Apollo pouted and started muttering under his breath. Ares, on Apollo's left, thought that it sounded suspiciously like a new poem. He made a mental note to try and change the seating arrangements.

**"Grover!"**

**"Sorry, Mrs. Jackson. Could you drive faster, please?"**

"Grover!" Travis imitated Sally, before he realised that she was in the room.

She laughed. "That's a pretty good imitation."

Travis looked relieved. "Percy, your mom's cool... oh."

Athena pretended not to have heard that. Percy looked at the floor, his face burning.

**I tried to wrap my mind around what was happening, but I couldn't do it. I knew this wasn't a**

**dream. I had no imagination. I could never dream up something this weird.**

"I knew you weren't all that different." Thalia joked.

**My mom made a hard left. We swerved onto a narrower road, racing past darkened**

**farmhouses and wooded hills and PICK YOUR OWN STRAWBERRIES signs on white picket**

**fences.**

**"Where are we going?" I asked.**

"To put you where you belong, Percy." Connor said solemnly.

"I hope Mrs. Jackson didn't forget the straitjacket." Travis added, grinning at Sally.

**"The summer camp I told you about." My mother's voice was tight; she was trying for my**

**sake not to be scared. "The place your father wanted to send you."**

"How sweet!" Aphrodite beamed at Sally again. And if that annoyed Athena, well that was just an added bonus, wasn't it?

**"The place you didn't want me to go."**

**"Please, dear," my mother begged. "This is hard enough. Try to understand. You're in**

**danger."**

**"Because some old ladies cut yarn."**

"You meant knit socks." Bianca corrected, smiling.

**"Those weren't old ladies," Grover said. "Those were the Fates. Do you know what it**

**means—the fact they appeared in front of you? They only do that when you're about to ... when**

**someone's about to die."**

"Percy _dies_?" Aphrodite asked, shocked.

"We've talked about his." Athena said scornfully.

**"Whoa. You said 'you.'"**

**"No I didn't. I said 'someone.'"**

**"You meant 'you.' As in **_**me.**_**"**

**"I meant **_**you, **_**like 'someone.' Not you, **_**you.**_**"**

Annabeth paused a minute to roll her eyes. "_Boys_." She muttered.

Artemis nodded approvingly.

**"Boys!" my mom said.**

Annabeth blushed again, glad that no one had noticed.

**She pulled the wheel hard to the right, and I got a glimpse of a figure she'd swerved to**

**avoid—a dark fluttering shape now lost behind us in the storm.**

"That sounds like a butterfly." Ares snorted. "Where are the real monsters?"

"A butterfly?" Athena asked incredulously. "Ares, have you lost your marbles?"

Ares sneered. "He isn't even your son, Wise-Girl."

Athena spat venomously. "This is just fiction."

Annabeth hurriedly carried on.

**"What was that?" I asked.**

**"We're almost there," my mother said, ignoring my question. "Another mile. Please. Please.**

**Please."**

"She should have taken you there long back." Athena muttered.

Sally flushed red but she said nothing.

**I didn't know where **_**there **_**was, but I found myself leaning forward in the car, anticipating,**

**wanting us to arrive.**

**Outside, nothing but rain and darkness—the kind of empty countryside you get way out on**

**the tip of Long Island. I thought about Mrs. Dodds and the moment when she'd changed into the**

**thing with pointed teeth and leathery wings. My limbs went numb from delayed shock. She really**

_**hadn't **_**been human. She'd meant to kill me.**

"Percy figures something out." Thalia announced grandly.

**Then I thought about Mr. Brunner ... and the sword he had thrown me. Before I could ask**

**Grover about that, the hair rose on the back of my neck. There was a blinding flash, a jaw-rattling**

_**boom!, **_**and our car exploded.**

Connor and Travis kept making little explosion noises until Artemis yelled at them to shut up before she turned them into jackalopes.

**I remember feeling weightless, like I was being crushed, fried, and hosed down all at the**

**same time.**

**I peeled my forehead off the back of the driver's seat and said, "Ow."**

**"Percy!" my mom shouted.**

"Your mom cares." Aphrodite cooed.

Everyone was starting to look a little uncomfortable.

**"I'm okay..."**

**I tried to shake off the daze. I wasn't dead. The car hadn't really exploded. We'd swerved into**

**a ditch. Our driver's-side doors were wedged in the mud. The roof had cracked open like an**

**eggshell and rain was pouring in.**

Connor looked disappointed. "Aw. No explosion?"

**Lightning. That was the only explanation. We'd been blasted right off the road. Next to me in**

**the backseat was a big motionless lump. "Grover!"**

**He was slumped over, blood trickling from the side of his mouth. I shook his furry hip,**

**thinking, No! Even if you are half barnyard animal, you're my best friend and I don't want you to**

**die!**

"How nice." Hera said. "I think I like this new Percy much better."

Percy scowled, remembering Hera's little grudge against him.

**Then he groaned "Food," and I knew there was hope.**

**"Percy," my mother said, "we have to ..." Her voice faltered.**

**I looked back. In a flash of lightning, through the mud-spattered rear windshield, I saw a**

**figure lumbering toward us on the shoulder of the road. The sight of it made my skin crawl. It**

**was a dark silhouette of a huge guy, like a football player. He seemed to be holding a blanket**

**over his head. His top half was bulky and fuzzy. His upraised hands made it look like he had**

**horns.**

"A cow." Travis exclaimed in mock horror. "Everyone run for your lives!"

"Probably an intestinally challenged cow." Percy muttered. "Courtesy of her highness, the Loose Cannon."

"Percy Jackson, so help me, I will turn you into a porcupine..."

"Nobody will turn anybody into an animal." Apollo interrupted. "Not even you, sis." He winked.

"Don't call me sis!"

**I swallowed hard. "Who is—"**

**"Percy," my mother said, deadly serious. "Get out of the car."**

**My mother threw herself against the driver's-side door. It was jammed shut in the mud. I tried**

**mine. Stuck too. I looked up desperately at the hole in the roof. It might've been an exit, but the**

**edges were sizzling and smoking.**

"Buuurn." Travis sniggered.

**"Climb out the passenger's side!" my mother told me. "Percy—you have to run. Do you see**

**that big tree?"**

_**"What?"**_

Thalia and Annabeth looked at each other, and then looked away. It was probably Annabeth's tree.

**Another flash of lightning, and through the smoking hole in the roof I saw the tree she meant:**

**a huge, White House Christmas tree-sized pine at the crest of the nearest hill.**

**"That's the property line," my mom said. "Get over that hill and you'll see a big farmhouse**

**down in the valley. Run and don't look back. Yell for help. Don't stop until you reach the door."**

"Incompetent mortal." Athena thought to herself.

**"Mom, you're coming too."**

**Her face was pale, her eyes as sad as when she looked at the ocean.**

Poseidon fidgeted. Sally Jackson was certainly... different, but he had never been in love with her. So he told himself.

**"No!" I shouted. "You **_**are **_**coming with me. Help me carry Grover."**

**"Food!" Grover moaned, a little louder.**

"This is why," Dinoysus mumbled. "I loathe that camp with its miserable satyrs and overly cheerful campers."

**The man with the blanket on his head kept coming toward us, making his grunting, snorting**

**noises. As he got closer, I realized he **_**couldn't **_**be holding a blanket over his head, because his**

**hands—huge meaty hands—were swinging at his sides. There was no blanket. Meaning the**

**bulky, fuzzy mass that was too big to be his head ... was his head. And the points that looked like**

**horns ...**

"Were horns." Thalia finished.

**"He doesn't want **_**us**_**," my mother told me. "He wants **_**you. **_**Besides, I can't cross the property**

**line."**

**"But..."**

**"We don't have time, Percy. Go. Please."**

"Yes. Leave." Athena said irritatedly. "Don't be stupid; you can't help her."

"Aren't you being a little prejudiced?" Hephaestus muttered.

"I'm the goddess of wisdom." She glared.

"Why don't you act like it then?" Aphrodite asked irritatedly.

**I got mad, then—mad at my mother, at Grover the goat, at the thing with horns that was**

**lumbering toward us slowly and deliberately like, like a bull.**

"Grover the goat?" Annabeth asked,

"These satyrs are more goat-like..." Dionysus mused.

**I climbed across Grover and pushed the door open into the rain. "We're going together. Come**

**on, Mom."**

**"I told you—"**

**"Mom! I am not leaving you. Help me with Grover."**

Athena shook her head in despair.

"He isn't your son, remember?" Demeter whispered next to her.

**I didn't wait for her answer. I scrambled outside, dragging Grover from the car. He was**

**surprisingly light, but I couldn't have carried him very far if my mom hadn't come to my aid.**

**Together, we draped Grover's arms over our shoulders and started stumbling uphill through**

**wet waist-high grass.**

"And, of course, you forgot about the monster." Athena muttered. She wouldn't be surprised if they actually had.

"Excuse me." Percy said sarcastically, annoyed with his mother. "I must have dropped my brain cells along the way."

Athena's eyes flashed.

**Glancing back, I got my first clear look at the monster. He was seven feet tall, easy, his arms**

**and legs like something from the cover of **_**Muscle Man **_**magazine—bulging biceps and triceps and**

**a bunch of other 'ceps, all stuffed like baseballs under vein-webbed skin. He wore no clothes**

**except underwear—I mean, bright white Fruit of the Looms—which would've looked funny,**

**except that the top half of his body was so scary. Coarse brown hair started at about his belly**

**button and got thicker as it reached his shoulders.**

"Fruit of the Looms?" Ares asked incredulously. "I _really_ have to check up on these monsters."

**His neck was a mass of muscle and fur leading up to his enormous head, which had a snout as**

**long as my arm, snotty nostrils with a gleaming brass ring, cruel black eyes, and horns—**

**enormous black-and-white horns with points you just couldn't get from an electric sharpener.**

**I recognized the monster, all right. He had been in one of the first stories Mr. Brunner told us.**

**But he couldn't be real.**

"Of course he is." Athena muttered. "Stop being such a fool."

"Stop interrupting just to piss Percy off." Annabeth snapped, before she realised whom she was talking to.

Artemis stepped in. "My Hunter has a point. This isn't time for you to insult anyone."

Aphrodite snorted at the word 'Hunter'. She couldn't help it.

Before Artemis could say something to Aphrodite, Annabeth continued reading, ehr cheeks burning with embarrassment.

**I blinked the rain out of my eyes. "That's—"**

**"Pasiphae's son," my mother said. "I wish I'd known how badly they want to kill you."**

**"But he's the Min—"**

**"Don't say his name," she warned. "Names have power."**

"How does _she_ know that?" Athena asked, refusing to acknowledge Sally's presence.

Percy shrugged. "Lord Poseidon probably told her."

Poseidon fidgeted again.

**The pine tree was still way too far—a hundred yards uphill at least.**

**I glanced behind me again.**

**The bull-man hunched over our car, looking in the windows—or not looking, exactly. More**

**like snuffling, nuzzling. I wasn't sure why he bothered, since we were only about fifty feet away.**

**"Food?" Grover moaned.**

Everyone laughed.

"I like this Grover." Hephaestus chuckled.

**"Shhh," I told him. "Mom, what's he doing? Doesn't he see us?"**

**"His sight and hearing are terrible," she said. "He goes by smell. But he'll figure out where**

**we are soon enough."**

**As if on cue, the bull-man bellowed in rage. He picked up Gabe's Camaro by the torn roof,**

**the chassis creaking and groaning. He raised the car over his head and threw it down the road. It**

**slammed into the wet asphalt and skidded in a shower of sparks for about half a mile before**

**coming to a stop. The gas tank exploded.**

Connor and Travis were about to make explosion noises again when Artemis caught their eye warningly.

_**Not a scratch, **_**I remembered Gabe saying.**

"Nah, Percy didn't scratch it. It's only an explosion." Travis said reassuringly.

"What happened to Gabe?" Poseidon asked Sally.

She blushed a deep red. "That would ruin the story."

**Oops.**

**"Percy," my mom said. "When he sees us, he'll charge. Wait until the last second, then jump**

**out of the way— directly sideways. He can't change directions very well once he's charging. Do**

**you understand?"**

**"How do you know all this?"**

**"I've been worried about an attack for a long time. I should have expected this. I was selfish,**

**keeping you near me."**

Athena was about to say something but she decided not to. Best to keep her cool.

**"Keeping me near you? But—"**

**Another bellow of rage, and the bull-man started tromping uphill.**

**He'd smelled us.**

**The pine tree was only a few more yards, but the hill was getting steeper and slicker, and**

**Grover wasn't getting any lighter.**

"What use is he as a satyr?" Nico frowned.

Bianca glared at her younger brother furiously. "You don't know what you're talking about, Nico."

"And you do?" He shot back.

"Yes! I'm sorry I left you, okay, but..." she stopped suddenly.

"Wait, what?" He frowned.

"Just... just read, Annabeth."

**The bull-man closed in. Another few seconds and he'd be on top of us.**

**My mother must've been exhausted, but she shouldered Grover. "Go, Percy! Separate!**

**Remember what I said."**

"That was a brave thing to do." Artemis said approvingly. "If you were younger, I would have asked you to join the Hunters."

"Thank you." Sally smiled.

**I didn't want to split up, but I had the feeling she was right—it was our only chance. I sprinted**

**to the left, turned, and saw the creature bearing down on me. His black eyes glowed with hate. He**

**reeked like rotten meat.**

**He lowered his head and charged, those razor-sharp horns aimed straight at my chest.**

Thalia winced at the thought.

**The fear in my stomach made me want to bolt, but that wouldn't work. I could never outrun**

**this thing. So I held my ground, and at the last moment, I jumped to the side.**

**The bull-man stormed past like a freight train, then bellowed with frustration and turned, but**

**not toward me this time, toward my mother, who was setting Grover down in the grass.**

"Turns out that you can give good advice, Sally." Aphrodite said sweetly.

Artemis sighed. "Stop doing that."

"What?" she asked innocently.

**We'd reached the crest of the hill. Down the other side I could see a valley, just as my mother**

**had said, and the lights of a farmhouse glowing yellow through the rain. But that was half a mile**

**away. We'd never make it.**

"Mr. Sunsh... Mr. Optimistic." Thalia grinned.

Apollo nodded at Thalia. "Thank you."

**The bull-man grunted, pawing the ground. He kept eyeing my mother, who was now**

**retreating slowly downhill, back toward the road, trying to lead the monster away from Grover.**

Artemis was looking more and more regretful that Sally wasn't a Hunter.

**"Run, Percy!" she told me. "I can't go any farther. Run!"**

**But I just stood there, frozen in fear, as the monster charged her. She tried to sidestep, as**

**she'd told me to do, but the monster had learned his lesson. His hand shot out and grabbed her by**

**the neck as she tried to get away. He lifted her as she struggled, kicking and pummeling the air.**

Percy couldn't help feeling a little scared. Maybe Sally wasn't his mother, but...

**"Mom!"**

**She caught my eyes, managed to choke out one last word: "Go!"**

**Then, with an angry roar, the monster closed his fists around my mother's neck, and she**

**dissolved before my eyes, melting into light, a shimmering golden form, as if she were a**

**holographic projection. A blinding flash, and she was simply ... gone.**

Artemis and Aphrodite gasped in unison.

Athena tried not to look smug.

**"No!"**

**Anger replaced my fear. Newfound strength burned in my limbs—the same rush of energy I'd**

**gotten when Mrs. Dodds grew talons.**

**The bull-man bore down on Grover, who lay helpless in the grass. The monster hunched**

**over, snuffling my best friend, as if he were about to lift Grover up and make him dissolve too.**

"And that would be a shame." Nico snorted.

"Nico!" Bianca said irritatedly.

**I couldn't allow that.**

**I stripped off my red rain jacket.**

**"Hey!" I screamed, waving the jacket, running to one side of the monster. "Hey, stupid!**

**Ground beef!"**

"Not bad..." Artemis eyed Percy. "For a boy."

**"Raaaarrrrr!" The monster turned toward me, shaking his meaty fists.**

**I had an idea—a stupid idea, but better than no idea at all. I put my back to the big pine tree**

**and waved my red jacket in front of the bull-man, thinking I'd jump out of the way at the last**

**moment.**

Athena groaned. But she seemed in a slightly better mood once Annabeth had read about Sally disappearing in the book. With luck, she wouldn't reappear or be mentioned for a while.

**But it didn't happen like that.**

**The bull-man charged too fast, his arms out to grab me whichever way I tried to dodge.**

**Time slowed down.**

**My legs tensed. I couldn't jump sideways, so I leaped straight up, kicking off from the**

**creature's head, using it as a springboard, turning in midair, and landing on his neck.**

"Awesome!" Travis said, and he wasn't being sarcastic.

**How did I do that? I didn't have time to figure it out. A millisecond later, the monster's head**

**slammed into the tree and the impact nearly knocked my teeth out.**

**The bull-man staggered around, trying to shake me. I locked my arms around his horns to**

**keep from being thrown. Thunder and lightning were still going strong. The rain was in my eyes.**

**The smell of rotten meat burned my nostrils.**

"Father, did you have to make it worse for the boy?" Artemis asked.

"I didn't." He grumbled.

**The monster shook himself around and bucked like a rodeo bull. He should have just backed**

**up into the tree and smashed me flat, but I was starting to realize that this thing had only one gear: forward.**

"That's smart." Thalia grinned. "I bet that saved your life."

**Meanwhile, Grover started groaning in the grass. I wanted to yell at him to shut up, but the**

**way I was getting tossed around, if I opened my mouth I'd bite my own tongue off.**

**"Food!" Grover moaned.**

"He should shut up." Nico agreed.

Bianca just let out an exasperated sigh.

**The bull-man wheeled toward him, pawed the ground again, and got ready to charge. I**

**thought about how he had squeezed the life out of my mother, made her disappear in a flash of**

**light, and rage filled me like high-octane fuel. I got both hands around one horn and I pulled**

**backward with all my might. The monster tensed, gave a surprised grunt, then—**_**snap!**_

**The bull-man screamed and flung me through the air. I landed flat on my back in the grass.**

**My head smacked against a rock. When I sat up, my vision was blurry, but I had a horn in my**

**hands, a ragged bone weapon the size of a knife.**

"Wow." Connor said in awe. "Just wow."

**The monster charged.**

**Without thinking, I rolled to one side and came up kneeling. As the monster barreled past, I**

**drove the broken horn straight into his side, right up under his furry rib cage.**

**The bull-man roared in agony. He flailed, clawing at his chest, then began to disintegrate—**

**not like my mother, in a flash of golden light, but like crumbling sand, blown away in chunks by**

**the wind, the same way Mrs. Dodds had burst apart.**

"No way!" Thalia said, her eyes shining. "You took out a minotaur!"

Percy grinned. "Maybe the new me isn't so bad?" he ventured.

Everyone nodded fervently. Everyone... except for the Olympians, that is.

**The monster was gone.**

**The rain had stopped. The storm still rumbled, but only in the distance. I smelled like**

**livestock and my knees were shaking. My head felt like it was splitting open. I was weak and**

**scared and trembling with grief I'd just seen my mother vanish. I wanted to lie down and cry, but**

**there was Grover, needing my help, so I managed to haul him up and stagger down into the**

**valley, toward the lights of the farmhouse. I was crying, calling for my mother, but I held on to**

**Grover—I wasn't going to let him go.**

"Oh, good time to stop, Zeus." Aphrodite chided.

**The last thing I remember is collapsing on a wooden porch, looking up at a ceiling fan**

**circling above me, moths flying around a yellow light, and the stern faces of a familiar-looking**

**bearded man and a pretty girl, her blond hair curled like a princess's. They both looked down at**

**me, and the girl said, "He's the one. He must be."**

"Thalia's a blond?" Annabeth choked.

**"Silence, Annabeth," the man said. "He's still conscious. Bring him inside."**

"_Annabeth?" _Thalia asked incredulously. "Are you telling me that you met Annabeth? What is _wrong_ with this story anyway?"

She looked irritated, and Annabeth looked shocked. Percy was the first to recover.

"It makes sense." He pointed out. "I'm a son of Poseidon... so Annabeth is a daughter of Athena and you're a daughter of Zeus. We all get mixed up."

Everyone had to think to digest this new piece of information. Except for Sally and Bianca, of course.

"I'll read." Thalia said sullenly, taking the book from Annabeth.

xxx

**So? What do you think? Review and let me know! The next chapter comes out tomorrow :D Cant wait to see more reviews ^_^**


	6. The Most Intelligent Chapter By Far

**32 reviews :D Wow thanks a lot guys :D**

**lanamere****, HockeyGal09, 4blueeyes9, bhz, FallingStar17, percyjacksonharrypotter- Haha that's a pretty good idea too, but it might take a while for me to do that. But I will bring in Percy, Annabeth and Thalia :D I was planning to bring in Thalia sometime around the third book, but Annabeth could drop in anytime ;) I'll see what I can do about Percy, cause it might get a little difficult with two Percy's and one Sally. But it could work! Grover should probably come in after a few chapters- about halfway through this book!**

**Amian4ever- Awesome! I hate Evan Tolliver :P Have you read Vespers Rising?**

**Slytherinprincess97- No problem ^_^ I'll try to get a B-fight between them, but it's going to have to be something seriously important cause it's kinda hard to imagine Sally have a B-fight :P I was thinking about it when I brought her in, so I'll try :D**

**Once again, thanks for the reviews, everyone! Hope you enjoy this chapter! (Mr. D is my fav in this one ha ha)**

_I Play Pinochle with a Horse_

"I play pinochle with a horse." Thalia read.

Dionysus looked approvingly at Percy. "I would expect all _civilized_ young men to know this game. It is, along with gladiator fighting and Pac-Man, one of the best games humans have come up with."

"Mr.D… I don't play pinochle." Percy said.

Mr. D looked offended, but he said nothing.

**I had weird dreams full of barnyard animals. Most of them wanted to kill me. The rest wanted**

**food.**

Several people snorted.

**I must've woken up several times, but what I heard and saw made no sense, so I just passed**

**out again. I remember lying in a soft bed, being spoon-fed something that tasted like buttered**

**popcorn, only it was pudding. The girl with curly blond hair hovered over me, smirking as she**

**scraped drips off my chin with the spoon.**

Even Annabeth smiled at that description of herself.

"Aw," Travis smirked. "Was Annabeth babysitting Percy?"

Annabeth snorted. "I think I'd like you better as a jackalope."

Artemis smiled.

**When she saw my eyes open, she asked, "What will happen at the summer solstice?"**

**I managed to croak, "What?"**

**She looked around, as if afraid someone would overhear. "What's going on? What was**

**stolen? We've only got a few weeks!"**

"What was stolen?" Annabeth asked Sally curiously.

Sally smiled mysteriously. "That would be telling."

**"I'm sorry," I mumbled, "I don't..."**

**Somebody knocked on the door, and the girl quickly filled my mouth with pudding.**

Percy snorted. "Thanks."

Annabeth grinned.

**The next time I woke up, the girl was gone.**

**A husky blond dude, like a surfer, stood in the corner of the bedroom keeping watch over me.**

**He had blue eyes— at least a dozen of them—on his cheeks, his forehead, the backs of his hands.**

"Argus?" Thalia wondered.

xxx

**When I finally came around for good, there was nothing weird about my surroundings, except**

**that they were nicer than I was used to. I was sitting in a deck chair on a huge porch, gazing**

**across a meadow at green hills in the distance. The breeze smelled like strawberries. There was a**

**blanket over my legs, a pillow behind my neck. All that was great, but my mouth felt like a**

**scorpion had been using it for a nest. My tongue was dry and nasty and every one of my teeth**

**hurt.**

"How do you know what a scorpion's nest feels like?" Bianca asked curiously.

"What _does_ a scorpion's nest feel like?" Travis asked philosophically.

"Percy has experience." Nico smirked.

**On the table next to me was a tall drink. It looked like iced apple juice, with a green straw**

**and a paper parasol stuck through a maraschino cherry.**

"Iced apple juice?" Bianca asked curiously.

"Probably nectar." Percy said knowingly. "The drink of the gods."

"The new drink of the gods!" Connor announced. "Iced apple juice!"

**My hand was so weak I almost dropped the glass once I got my fingers around it.**

**"Careful," a familiar voice said.**

**Grover was leaning against the porch railing, looking like he hadn't slept in a week. Under**

**one arm, he cradled a shoe box. He was wearing blue jeans, Converse hi-tops and a bright orange**

**T-shirt that said CAMP HALF-BLOOD. Just plain old Grover, Not the goat boy.**

"Donkey boy." Annabeth corrected.

"Or llama boy." Travis snorted.

**So maybe I'd had a nightmare. Maybe my mom was okay. We were still on vacation, and**

**we'd stopped here at this big house for some reason. And ...**

"I thought you didn't have any imagination?" Thalia asked innocently, regaining her good humour.

**"You saved my life," Grover said. "I... well, the least I could do ... I went back to the hill. I**

**thought you might want this."**

**Reverently, he placed the shoe box in my lap.**

"New shoes?" Aphrodite asked excitedly.

Everyone rolled their eyes.

**Inside was a black-and-white bull's horn, the base jagged from being broken off, the tip**

**splattered with dried blood. It hadn't been a nightmare.**

Connor and Travis clapped.

**"The Minotaur," I said.**

**"Urn, Percy, it isn't a good idea—"**

"To say his name." Annabeth completed.

"Names have power." Athena frowned. "You should know that better than any other, Annabeth."

Annabeth blushed.

"Why you?" Percy asked curiously.

Annabeth blushed even more. "Never mind."

**"That's what they call him in the Greek myths, isn't it?" I demanded. "The Minotaur. Half**

**man, half bull."**

**Grover shifted uncomfortably. "You've been out for two days. How much do you**

**remember?"**

"Two days?" Artemis asked. "You must have been exhausted."

**"My mom. Is she really ..."**

**He looked down.**

Athena allowed a little frown to crease her forehead as she thought. Sally Jackson was obviously alive and well, so what had happened to her?

**I stared across the meadow. There were groves of trees, a winding stream, acres of**

**strawberries spread out under the blue sky. The valley was surrounded by rolling hills, and the**

**tallest one, directly in front of us, was the one with the huge pine tree on top. Even that looked**

**beautiful in the sunlight.**

"Thalia's tree." Annabeth said. The words sounded foreign in her mouth.

Thalia looked coldly at Annabeth. If Thalia had switched places with Annabeth, then Percy... well, it couldn't be true, could it?

**My mother was gone. The whole world should be black and cold. Nothing should look**

**beautiful.**

"Aww." Aphrodite sniffed. "That's so sad."

**"I'm sorry," Grover sniffled. "I'm a failure. I'm—I'm the worst satyr in the world."**

**He moaned, stomping his foot so hard it came off. I mean, the Converse hi-top came off. The**

**inside was filled with Styrofoam, except for a hoof-shaped hole.**

"His foot came off." Travis snorted. "Aren't you smart?"

**"Oh, Styx!" he mumbled.**

"Grover should really mind his language." Annabeth grinned.

**Thunder rolled across the clear sky.**

**As he struggled to get his hoof back in the fake foot, I thought, Well, that settles it.**

"Settles what?" Aphrodite asked, puzzled.

Artemis and Athena rolled their eyes simultaneously.

**Grover was a satyr. I was ready to bet that if I shaved his curly brown hair, I'd find tiny horns**

**on his head. But I was too miserable to care that satyrs existed, or even minotaurs. All that meant**

**was my mom really had been squeezed into nothingness, dissolved into yellow light.**

Athena rose an eyebrow momentarily. She looked at Hades suspiciously. Hades was looking uncomfortable too. That sounded a lot like the method he used to capture victims. He fidgeted under Athena's gaze.

**I was alone. An orphan. I would have to live with ... Smelly Gabe? No. That would never**

**happen. I would live on the streets first. I would pretend I was seventeen and join the army. I'd do**

**something.**

Ares snorted. "You'd join the army, punk? Dream on."

**Grover was still sniffling. The poor kid—poor goat, satyr, whatever—looked as if he**

**expected to be hit.**

**I said, "It wasn't your fault."**

**"Yes, it was. I was supposed to **_**protect **_**you."**

**"Did my mother ask you to protect me?"**

**"No. But that's my job. I'm a keeper. At least... I was."**

"What happens to Grover?" Percy wondered out loud. Somehow, against his better judgement, he was bonding with this fictional character.

**"But why ..." I suddenly felt dizzy, my vision swimming.**

**"Don't strain yourself," Grover said. "Here." He helped me hold my glass and put the straw to**

**my lips.**

"Try not to think too much." Annabeth smirked. "Seaweed Brain." She added, remembering what she had said earlier.

Percy shrugged. "I wonder what the new Annabeth is going to be like."

Annabeth wrinkled her nose. "Hopefully not like you."

**I recoiled at the taste, because I was expecting apple juice. It wasn't that at all. It was**

**chocolate-chip cookies. Liquid cookies. And not just any cookies—my mom's homemade blue**

**chocolate-chip cookies, buttery and hot, with the chips still melting. Drinking it, my whole body**

**felt warm and good, full of energy. My grief didn't go away, but I felt as if my mom had just**

**brushed her hand against my cheek, given me a cookie the way she used to when I was small, and**

**told me everything was going to be okay.**

"Interesting." Apollo mused. "It tastes different to everyone."

"What's it taste like to you?" Thalia asked boldly.

Apollo looked at her and she winced. "Sorry?"

"I haven't really thought about it." He muttered abstractly.

**Before I knew it, I'd drained the glass. I stared into it, sure I'd just had a warm drink, but the**

**ice cubes hadn't even melted.**

**"Was it good?" Grover asked.**

"Of course it was." Hera smiled. "Nectar always tastes good."

"I prefer apple juice." Demeter said haughtily.

Annabeth leaned close to Bianca to whisper. "I bet Demeter tastes fruit salad when she drinks her nectar."

**I nodded.**

**"What did it taste like?" He sounded so wistful, I felt guilty.**

"Why?" Thalia wondered.

**"Sorry," I said. "I should've let you taste."**

**His eyes got wide. "No! That's not what I meant. I just... wondered."**

**"Chocolate-chip cookies," I said. "My mom's. Homemade."**

Sally smiled at that.

Aphrodite said in a cool voice. "I'm sure Athena's never made you cookies."

Athena exploded. "I swear, Aphrodite, I'll turn both you and your precious Sally Jackson into mice and feed you to the owls!"

"Don't bring her into this." Artemis said irritatedly. "None of this is Sally's fault."

"I don't want your help." Aphrodite shot back.

"I'm not helping you, you dimwit." Artemis snarled. "I'm defending Sally."

"Stay out of this, Artemis." Athena snapped. "I can insult this nitwit by myself."

"Beauty doesn't always have to be dumb." Aphrodite said.

"In your case, it does." Athena retorted.

"Ladies!" Apollo held up a hand. "Sis! Calm down! Can't you see you're freaking everyone out?"

"Don't call me sis." Artemis said testily, but she settled comfortably in her chair, pointedly ignoring the goddesses on either side of her.

**He sighed. "And how do you feel?"**

**"Like I could throw Nancy Bobofit a hundred yards."**

Ares smirked, oblivious to the tension in the room.

**"That's good," he said. "That's good. I don't think you could risk drinking any more of that**

**stuff"**

**"What do you mean?"**

**He took the empty glass from me gingerly, as if it were dynamite, and set it back on the table.**

Connor and Travis starting singing 'Dynamite' by Taio Cruz, until Zeus himself yelled at them to sit down and shut up.

**"Come on. Chiron and Mr. D are waiting."**

**The porch wrapped all the way around the farmhouse.**

**My legs felt wobbly, trying to walk that far. Grover offered to carry the Minotaur horn, but I**

**held on to it. I'd paid for that souvenir the hard way. I wasn't going to let it go.**

"Farmhouse?" Annabeth interrupted, trying to ease the tension.

"The Big House." Percy said patronisingly.

**As we came around the opposite end of the house, I caught my breath.**

**We must've been on the north shore of Long Island, because on this side of the house, the**

**valley marched all the way up to the water, which glittered about a mile in the distance. Between**

**here and there, I simply couldn't process everything I was seeing. The landscape was dotted with**

**buildings that looked like ancient Greek architecture—an open-air pavilion, an amphitheater, a**

**circular arena—except that they all looked brand new, their white marble columns sparkling in**

**the sun. In a nearby sandpit, a dozen high school-age kids and satyrs played volleyball. Canoes**

**glided across a small lake. Kids in bright orange T-shirts like Grover's were chasing each other**

**around a cluster of cabins nestled in the woods. Some shot targets at an archery range. Others**

**rode horses down a wooded trail, and, unless I was hallucinating, some of their horses had wings.**

"Too many magic mushrooms." Connor winked, referring to the first chapter of the book.

Travis sneaked a look at Zeus to see whether he was going to fry them.

**Down at the end of the porch, two men sat across from each other at a card table. The blond haired girl who'd spoon-fed me popcorn-flavored pudding was leaning on the porch rail next to them.**

"Go Annabeth!" Thalia cheered, grinning widely.

**The man facing me was small, but porky. He had a red nose, big watery eyes, and curly hair**

**so black it was almost purple. He looked like those paintings of baby angels— what do you call**

**them, hubbubs? No, cherubs. That's it. He looked like a cherub who'd turned middle-aged in a**

**trailer park. He wore a tiger-pattern Hawaiian shirt, and he would've fit right in at one of Gabe's**

**poker parties, except I got the feeling this guy could've out-gambled even my stepfather.**

"Go Mr. D!" Travis cheered.

Dionysus looked a little confused at his description- as though he wasn't sure whether or not to take it as a compliment.

**"That's Mr. D," Grover murmured to me. "He's the camp director. Be polite. The girl, that's**

**Annabeth Chase. She's just a camper, but she's been here longer than just about anybody. And**

**you already know Chiron... ."**

"Demigods are never polite." Mr. D sighed, taking a long sip of his grape juice.

"Annabeth sounds cool." Thalia said.

"Cooler than a tree." Connor smirked. He instantly regretted it, because both Zeus and Artemis glared at him.

**He pointed at the guy whose back was to me.**

**First, I realized he was sitting in the wheelchair. Then I recognized the tweed jacket, the**

**thinning brown hair, the scraggly beard.**

"Mr. Brunner." Annabeth smiled.

**"Mr. Brunner!" I cried.**

Thalia winked at Annabeth.

**The Latin teacher turned and smiled at me. His eyes had that mischievous glint they**

**sometimes got in class when he pulled a pop quiz and made all the multiple choice answers **_**B**_**.**

Nico looked regretful. "I wish he was my teacher at Westover. That would have been amazing."

**"Ah, good, Percy," he said. "Now we have four for pinochle."**

"Oh, good." Dionysus brightened. "Finally, something interesting."

**He offered me a chair to the right of Mr. D, who looked at me with bloodshot eyes and**

**heaved a great sigh. "Oh, I suppose I must say it. Welcome to Camp Half-Blood. There. Now,**

**don't expect me to be glad to see you."**

"Mr. D never changes." Thalia murmured under her breath to Percy.

**"Uh, thanks." I scooted a little farther away from him because, **_**if **_**there was one thing I had**

**learned from living with Gabe, it was how to tell when an adult has been hitting the happy juice.**

**If Mr. D was a stranger to alcohol, I was a satyr.**

Annabeth and Thalia cracked up trying to imagine Percy as a satyr.

**"Annabeth?" Mr. Brunner called to the blond girl.**

**She came forward and Mr. Brunner introduced us. "This young lady nursed you back to**

**health, Percy. Annabeth, my dear, why don't you go check on Percy's bunk? We'll be putting him**

**in cabin eleven for now."**

Hermes looked a little uncomfortable. He knew all too well how crowded his cabin was. Worse, he felt responsible for all the undetermined kids.

**Annabeth said, "Sure, Chiron."**

**She was probably my age, maybe a couple of inches taller, and a whole lot more athletic**

**looking. With her deep tan and her curly blond hair, she was almost exactly what I thought a**

**stereotypical California girl would look like, except her eyes ruined the image. They were**

**startling gray, like storm clouds; pretty, but intimidating, too, as if she were analyzing the best**

**way to take me down in a fight.**

Sally smiled fondly at this familiar description of Annabeth. This new Annabeth seemed a bit more... closed. She seemed less sure of herself.

**She glanced at the minotaur horn in my hands, then back at me. I imagined she was going to**

**say, **_**You killed a minotaur! **_**or **_**Wow, you're so awesome! **_**or something like that.**

"Like I would _ever_ say that." Annabeth laughed.

**Instead she said, "You drool when you sleep."**

Everyone laughed. Even the Olympians managed smiles.

**Then she sprinted off down the lawn, her blond hair flying behind her.**

**"So," I said, anxious to change the subject. "You, uh, work here, Mr. Brunner?"**

"No." Travis snorted. "He drops by to play pinochle."

"Quality time with Mr. D." Thalia shuddered.

**"Not Mr. Brunner," the ex—Mr. Brunner said. "I'm afraid that was a pseudonym. You may**

**call me Chiron."**

**"Okay." Totally confused, I looked at the director. "And Mr. D ... does that stand for**

**something?"**

"Impudent." Dionysus muttered, waving re-filling his glass with grape juice for the fifteenth time.

**Mr. D stopped shuffling the cards. He looked at me like I'd just belched loudly. "Young man,**

**names are powerful things. You don't just go around using them for no reason."**

"Young man," Travis wagged a finger.

"Don't belch." Connor said haughtily.

**"Oh. Right. Sorry."**

**"I must say, Percy," Chiron-Brunner broke in, "I'm glad to see you alive. It's been a long time**

**since I've made a house call to a potential camper. I'd hate to think I've wasted my time."**

"When was the last time?" Zeus asked out loud.

"For my son." Hades grumbled. "Before the first World War."

"Oh, yes."

**"House call?"**

**"My year at Yancy Academy, to instruct you. We have satyrs at most schools, of course,**

**keeping a lookout. But Grover alerted me as soon as he met you. He sensed you were something**

**special, so I decided to come upstate. I convinced the other Latin teacher to ... ah, take a leave of**

**absence."**

"That's cheating!" Connor pretended to be horrified.

**I tried to remember the beginning of the school year. It seemed like so long ago, but I did**

**have a fuzzy memory of there being another Latin teacher my first week at Yancy. Then, without**

**explanation, he had disappeared and Mr. Brunner had taken the class.**

"Lucky you." Nico said wistfully.

**"You came to Yancy just to teach me?" I asked.**

**Chiron nodded. "Honestly, I wasn't sure about you at first. We contacted your mother, let her**

**know we were keeping an eye on you in case you were ready for Camp Half-Blood. But you still**

**had so much to learn. Nevertheless, you made it here alive, and that's always the first test."**

"The next few tests are always harder." Thalia muttered.

**"Grover," Mr. D said impatiently, "are you playing or not?"**

**"Yes, sir!" Grover trembled as he took the fourth chair, though I didn't know why he should**

**be so afraid of a pudgy little man in a tiger-print Hawaiian shirt.**

"Excuse me?" Dionysus asked, offended. "A pudgy little man?"

Percy thought it wise to say nothing.

**"You **_**do **_**know how to play pinochle?" Mr. D eyed me suspiciously.**

**"I'm afraid not," I said.**

Dionysus looked even more shocked. "Pinochle is one of the greatest games invented by..."

"Yes, yes, you mentioned that." Hermes interrupted quickly.

**"I'm afraid not, **_**sir**_**," he said.**

**"Sir," I repeated. I was liking the camp director less and less.**

A few people sniggered.

**"Well," he told me, "it is, along with gladiator fighting and Pac-Man, one of the greatest**

**games ever invented by humans. I would expect all **_**civilized **_**young men to know the rules."**

Dionysus looked gratified.

**"I'm sure the boy can learn," Chiron said.**

**"Please," I said, "what is this place? What am I doing here? Mr. Brun—Chiron—why would**

**you go to Yancy Academy just to teach me?"**

Mr. D snorted. "Good question."

**Mr. D snorted. "I asked the same question."**

Annabeth would have blushed in Mr. D's position, but Mr. D was not Annabeth. He simply finished his glass of grape juice and re-filled it again.

"Sixteen times and counting." Bianca whispered to Annabeth.

**The camp director dealt the cards. Grover flinched every time one landed in his pile.**

**Chiron smiled at me sympathetically, the way he used to in Latin class, as if to let me know**

**that no matter what my average was, **_**I **_**was his star student. He expected **_**me **_**to have the right**

**answer.**

Thalia grinned, and then felt a pang as she missed Chiron.

**"Percy," he said. "Did your mother tell you nothing?'**

**"She said ..." I remembered her sad eyes, looking out over the sea. "She told me she was**

**afraid to send me here, even though my father had wanted her to. She said that once I was here, I**

**probably couldn't leave. She wanted to keep me close to her."**

Many of the Olympians looked a little sceptical, and Sally looked like she was about to melt into the floor.

**"Typical," Mr. D said. "That's how they usually get killed. Young man, are you bidding or**

**not?"**

**"What?" I asked.**

**He explained, impatiently, how you bid in pinochle, and ****so I did.**

"Slow learner." Dionysus grumbled.

**"I'm afraid there's too much to tell," Chiron said. "I'm afraid our usual orientation film won't**

**be sufficient."**

**"Orientation film?" I asked.**

"Rated PG 13." Travis smirked. "I watched it when I was twelve."

**"No," Chiron decided. "Well, Percy. You know your friend Grover is a satyr. You know"—**

**he pointed to the horn in the shoe box—"that you have killed the Minotaur. No small feat, either,**

**lad. What you may not know is that great powers are at work in your life. Gods—the forces you**

**call the Greek gods—are very much alive."**

"That was a quick orientation." Percy grumbled.

**I stared at the others around the table.**

**I waited for somebody to yell, **_**Not! **_**But all I got was Mr. D yelling, "Oh, a royal marriage.**

**Trick! Trick!" He cackled as he tallied up his points.**

"Well played, me." Dionysus said approvingly.

**"Mr. D," Grover asked timidly, "if you're not going to eat it, could I have your Diet Coke**

**can?"**

Annabeth shuddered. "I still don't know how satyrs can eat aluminium cans."

**"Eh? Oh, all right."**

**Grover bit a huge shard out of the empty aluminum can and chewed it mournfully.**

Annabeth shuddered again.

**"Wait," I told Chiron. "You're telling me there's such a thing as God."**

"No." Athena said irritatedly. "As god_s_. In the plural. I'd have thought that you'd know the difference."

Percy sighed exasperatedly. He could imagine Sally Jackson being a better mother. Immediately he felt a pang of guilt for thinking that.

**"Well, now," Chiron said. "God—capital **_**G**_**, God. That's a different matter altogether. We**

**shan't deal with the metaphysical."**

"At least the _centaur_ has some sense." Athena muttered.

**"Metaphysical? But you were just talking about—"**

**"Ah, gods, plural, as in, great beings that control the forces of nature and human endeavors:**

**the immortal gods of Olympus. That's a smaller matter."**

"Small?" Zeus thundered.

"Brother, please." Poseidon said. "You don't have to get so upset every time someone insults the gods. This is just a work of fiction."

Zeus glanced at Sally, who most definitely did not look like a work of fiction.

**"Smaller?"**

**"Yes, quite. The gods we discussed in Latin class."**

**"Zeus," I said. "Hera. Apollo. You mean them."**

"You shouldn't use names so much." Annabeth said disapprovingly.

"You sound like my mom." Percy muttered.

Annabeth paused, assuming that Percy was talking about Athena.

**And there it was again—distant thunder on a cloudless day.**

**"Young man," said Mr. D, "I would really be less casual about throwing those names around,**

**if I were you."**

**"But they're stories," I said. "They're—myths, to explain lightning and the seasons and stuff.**

**They're what people believed before there was science."**

"Myths?" Zeus began. "Sto-"

"Husband." Hera interrupted. "Listen to your brother. Stop."

Ares sighed. Another prospective fight ruined.

**"Science!" Mr. D scoffed. "And tell me, Perseus Jackson"—I flinched when he said my real**

**name, which I never told anybody—"what will people think of your 'science' two thousand years**

**from now?" Mr. D continued. "Hmm? They will call it primitive mumbo jumbo. That's what. Oh,**

**I love mortals—they have absolutely no sense of perspective. They think they've come **_**so-o-o **_**far.**

**And have they, Chiron? Look at this boy and tell me."**

Mr. D listened to all of this interestedly. "Now _that_, is intelligent conversation. Not the boy, me."

Apollo snorted softly.

**I wasn't liking Mr. D much, but there was something about the way he called me mortal, as**

**if... he wasn't. It was enough to put a lump in my throat, to suggest why Grover was dutifully**

**minding his cards, chewing his soda can, and keeping his mouth shut.**

"Percy's thinking." Connor said in mock awe.

"Let him use his brain cell." Travis smirked.

**"Percy," Chiron said, "you may choose to believe or not, but the fact is that **_**immortal **_**means**

**immortal. Can you imagine that for a moment, never dying? Never fading? Existing, just as you**

**are, for all time?"**

"That is generally what immortal means." Hades muttered. "This gets more and more boring."

**I was about to answer, off the top of my head, that it sounded like a pretty good deal, but the**

**tone of Chiron's voice made me hesitate.**

**"You mean, whether people believed in you or not," I said.**

"Exactly." Zeus rumbled.

**"Exactly," Chiron agreed. "If you were a god, how would you like being called a myth, an**

**old story to explain lightning? What if I told you, Perseus Jackson, that someday people would**

**call **_**you **_**a myth, just created to explain how little boys can get over losing their mothers?"**

Bianca raised an eyebrow. "That was nice."

**My heart pounded. He was trying to make me angry for some reason, but I wasn't going to let**

**him. I said, "I wouldn't like it. But I don't believe in gods."**

The gods looked amused and irritated, depending on who they were.

**"Oh, you'd better," Mr. D murmured. "Before one of them incinerates you."**

**Grover said, "P-please, sir. He's just lost his mother. He's in shock."**

**"A lucky thing, too," Mr. D grumbled, playing a card. "Bad enough I'm confined to this**

**miserable job, working with boys who don't even believe.'"**

Dionysus was nodding in his seat. "Every word is true."

Apollo caught the eye of his sister opposite him and smirked knowingly.

**He waved his hand and a goblet appeared on the table, as if the sunlight had bent,**

**momentarily, and woven the air into glass. The goblet filled itself with red wine.**

Zeus's hand tightened on his lightning bolt. "Your restrictions?" He asked.

**My jaw dropped, but Chiron hardly looked up.**

**"Mr. D," he warned, "your restrictions."**

Zeus looked at Dionysus pointedly.

**Mr. D looked at the wine and feigned surprise.**

**"Dear me." He looked at the sky and yelled, "Old habits! Sorry!"**

**More thunder.**

Zeus snorted.

**Mr. D waved his hand again, and the wineglass changed into a fresh can of Diet Coke. He**

**sighed unhappily, popped the top of the soda, and went back to his card game.**

"I like Diet Coke." Mr. D said thoughtfully, immediately making one appear in front of him.

Bianca paused.

"Does Diet Coke count?" She whispered to Annabeth.

Annabeth nodded. "Seventeen and counting now."

**Chiron winked at me. "Mr. D offended his father a while back, took a fancy to a wood nymph**

**who had been declared off-limits."**

**"A wood nymph," I repeated, still staring at the Diet Coke can like it was from outer space.**

A few people smirked. Apollo chuckled.

**"Yes," Mr. D confessed. "Father loves to punish me. The first time, Prohibition. Ghastly!**

**Absolutely horrid ten years! The second time—well, she really was pretty, and I couldn't stay**

**away—the second time, he sent me here. Half-Blood Hill. Summer camp for brats like you. 'Be a**

**better influence,' he told me. 'Work with youths rather than tearing them down.' Ha.' Absolutely**

**unfair."**

"You sound like a little kid." Hermes said, amused.

Dionysus shrugged. "It _is_ unfair."

**Mr. D sounded about six years old, like a pouting little ****kid.**

Hermes grinned. "I told you so, D."

"Don't call me D." Dionysus said, bored.

**"And ..." I stammered, "your father is ..."**

_**"Di immortales, **_**Chiron," Mr. D said. "I thought you taught this boy the basics. My father is**

**Zeus, of course."**

"I thought you weren't supposed to throw about names?" Apollo asked innocently.

Hephaestus grunted next to him amusedly.

**I ran through D names from Greek mythology. Wine. The skin of a tiger. The satyrs that all**

**seemed to work here. The way Grover cringed, as if Mr. D were his master.**

**"You're Dionysus," I said. "The god of wine."**

"Duh." Thalia snorted.

**Mr. D rolled his eyes. "What do they say, these days, Grover? Do the children say, 'Well,**

**duh!'?"**

**"Y-yes, Mr. D."**

**"Then, well, duh! Percy Jackson. Did you think I was Aphrodite, perhaps?"**

Aphrodite wrinkled her pretty features. Everyone else laughed.

**"You're a god."**

**"Yes, child."**

**"A god. You."**

"Slow on the uptake, much?" Annabeth asked.

**He turned to look at me straight on, and I saw a kind of purplish fire in his eyes, a hint that**

**this whiny, plump little man was only showing me the tiniest bit of his true nature. I saw visions**

**of grape vines choking unbelievers to death, drunken warriors insane with battle lust, sailors**

**screaming as their hands turned to flippers, their faces elongating into dolphin snouts. I knew that**

**if I pushed him, Mr. D would show me worse things. He would plant a disease in my brain that**

**would leave me wearing a strait-jacket in a rubber room for the rest of my life.**

"Interesting ideas." Dionysus said thoughtfully. "This chapter is by far the most intelligent."

**"Would you like to test me, child?" he said quietly.**

**"No. No, sir."**

**The fire died a little. He turned back to his card game. "I believe I win."**

"Oh, goody." Dionysus said.

**"Not quite, Mr. D," Chiron said. He set down a straight, tallied the points, and said, "The**

**game goes to me."**

**I thought Mr. D was going to vaporize Chiron right out of his wheelchair, but he just sighed**

**through his nose, as if he were used to being beaten by the Latin teacher. He got up, and Grover**

**rose, too.**

"He beats me often." Dionysus muttered.

**"I'm tired," Mr. D said. "I believe I'll take a nap before the sing-along tonight. But first,**

**Grover, we need to talk, **_**again, **_**about your less-than-perfect performance on this assignment."**

"He did his best." Percy found himself protesting for a non-existent best friend.

**Grover's face beaded with sweat. "Y-yes, sir."**

**Mr. D turned to me. "Cabin eleven, Percy Jackson. And mind your manners."**

"He hasn't been minding his manners so far." Travis smirked.

**He swept into the farmhouse, Grover following miserably.**

**"Will Grover be okay?" I asked Chiron.**

"I hope so." Percy murmured to himself.

**Chiron nodded, though he looked a bit troubled. "Old Dionysus isn't really mad. He just hates**

**his job. He's been ... ah, grounded, I guess you would say, and he can't stand waiting another**

**century before he's allowed to go back to Olympus."**

"_Hate_ is a strong word." Apollo said.

"Oh, please." Dionysus said. "No need to get philosophical."

**"Mount Olympus," I said. "You're telling me there really is a palace there?"**

**"Well now, there's Mount Olympus in Greece. And then there's the home of the gods, the**

**convergence point of their powers, which did indeed used to be on Mount Olympus. It's still**

**called Mount Olympus, out of respect to the old ways, but the palace moves, Percy, just as the**

**gods do."**

**"You mean the Greek gods are here? Like ... in **_**America**_**?"**

"Yes, that is what he's saying." Annabeth grinned.

**"Well, certainly. The gods move with the heart of the West."**

**"The what?"**

"The heart of the West." Connor said solemnly.

"As opposed to the kidney." Travis smirked.

**"Come now, Percy. What you call 'Western civilization.' Do you think it's just an abstract**

**concept? No, it's a living force. A collective consciousness that has burned bright for thousands of**

**years. The gods are part of it. You might even say they are the source of it, or at least, they are**

**tied so tightly to it that they couldn't possibly fade, not unless all of Western civilization were**

**obliterated. The fire started in Greece. Then, as you well know—or as I hope you know, since**

**you passed my course—the heart of the fire moved to Rome, and so did the gods. Oh, different**

**names, perhaps—Jupiter for Zeus, Venus for Aphrodite, and so on—but the same forces, the**

**same gods."**

The gods smiled, recalling long-forgotten memories.

**"And then they died."**

A few people laughed.

Artemis smiled. "Do I look dead?"

**"Died? No. Did the West die? The gods simply moved, to Germany, to France, to Spain, for a**

**while. Wherever the flame was brightest, the gods were there. They spent several centuries in**

**England. All you need to do is look at the architecture. People do not forget the gods. Every place**

**they've ruled, for the last three thousand years, you can see them in paintings, in statues, on the**

**most important buildings. And yes, Percy, of course they are now in your United States. Look at**

**your symbol, the eagle of Zeus. Look at the statue of Prometheus in Rockefeller Center, the**

**Greek facades of your government buildings in Washington. I defy you to find any American city**

**where the Olympians are not prominently displayed in multiple places. Like it or not—and**

**believe me, plenty of people weren't very fond of Rome, either—America is now the heart of the**

**flame. It is the great power of the West. And so Olympus is here. And we are here."**

**It was all too much, especially the fact that **_**I **_**seemed to be included in Chiron's **_**we, **_**as if I**

**were part of some club.**

"If you're one of us, then roll with us." Connor put on his best gangster face.

**"Who are you, Chiron? Who ... who am I?"**

"Good question." Thalia grinned.

"I am the One." Travis said solemnly.

**Chiron smiled. He shifted his weight as if he were going to get up out of his wheelchair, but I**

**knew that was impossible. He was paralyzed from the waist down.**

"Stupid boy." Athena said under her breath.

**"Who are you?" he mused. "Well, that's the question we all want answered, isn't it? But for**

**now, we should get you a bunk in cabin eleven. There will be new friends to meet. And plenty of**

**time for lessons tomorrow. Besides, there will be s'mores at the campfire tonight, and I simply**

**adore chocolate."**

"I adore s'mores." Bianca sighed.

**And then he did rise from his wheelchair. But there was something odd about the way he did**

**it. His blanket fell away from his legs, but the legs didn't move. His waist kept getting longer,**

**rising above his belt. At first, I thought he was wearing very long, white velvet underwear, but as**

**he kept rising out of the chair, taller than any man, I realized that the velvet underwear wasn't**

**underwear; it was the front of an animal, muscle and sinew under coarse white fur. And the**

**wheelchair wasn't a chair. It was some kind of container, an enormous box on wheels, and it**

**must've been magic, because there's no way it could've held all of him. A leg came out, long and**

**knobby-kneed, with a huge polished hoof. Then another front leg, then hindquarters, and then the**

**box was empty, nothing but a metal shell with a couple of fake human legs attached.**

"Nice description." Nico grinned.

**I stared at the horse who had just sprung from the wheelchair: a huge white stallion. But**

**where its neck should be was the upper body of my Latin teacher, smoothly grafted to the horse's**

**trunk.**

"A centaur." Percy corrected. "Not a stallion."

**"What a relief," the centaur said. "I'd been cooped up in there so long, my fetlocks had fallen**

**asleep. Now, come, Percy Jackson. Let's meet the other campers."**

"Fun!" Thalia grinned.

"I can't wait for the next chapter." Hades said drily.

"Maybe you should read next." Poseidon said, twinkling.

"Yes." Apollo grinned mischeviously. "Thalia, darling, give Lord Hades the book."

Thalia stood uncertainly and passed the book to Hades, who was regretting having spoken.

He sighed. "Very well."

xxx

**Well? Sorry it's late but before halfway through writing this chapter, my mom came in and grounded me from using internet today (long story), and she actually disabled the internet connection for today *gasp* So I'm typing this right now in my room, supposedly asleep :P, and I'll upload this tomorrow, hopefully with the next chapter as well. R&R for both chapters please! ( If I get the next one out with this one!) I love seeing reviews (I may have mentioned that a few times already ha ha)**


	7. Prissy and the Wise Girl

**Well, here's the next chapter :D**

**Queen of the Forgotten- Actually, all the in-book characters (except for Bianca because she dies) will be from about the time Percy goes missing- between TLO and The Lost Hero. But I don't want to bring in-book Thalia until the actual Thalia is introduced. So unless I change my mind :P she'll be coming in about the third book.**

**Nerdygangsta1993- Ha ha thanks ^_^ Yeah, I'm planning on doing the other books fo sho :D**

**Itsybitsybookworm- Well, I will be bringing in Annabeth at some point, but I'll have to work on Percy. I mean, he **_**is**_** the main character, so… I'll try :D Honest!**

**Anyways, enjoy!**

_I Become Supreme Lord of the Bathroom_

"I become supreme lord of the bathroom." Hades read. Even his most bored and lifeless voice couldn't suppress a few laughs around the room.

**Once I got over the fact that my Latin teacher was a horse, we had a nice tour, though I was**

**careful not to walk behind him. I'd done pooper-scooper patrol in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day**

**Parade a few times, and, I'm sorry, I did not trust Chiron's back end the way I trusted his front.**

"Pooper-scooper patrol?" Aphrodite asked.

"You don't want to know." Hermes muttered.

**We passed the volleyball pit. Several of the campers nudged each other. One pointed to the**

**minotaur horn I was carrying. Another said, "That's **_**him**_**."**

"That's _him_." Travis pointed in mock horror.

"I like volleyball." Thalia mused.

**Most of the campers were older than me. Their satyr friends were bigger than Grover, all of**

**them trotting around in orange CAMP HALF-BLOOD T-shirts, with nothing else to cover their**

**bare shaggy hindquarters. I wasn't normally shy, but the way they stared at me made me**

**uncomfortable. I felt like they were expecting me to do a flip or something.**

"Can you do a flip?" Annabeth smirked.

"I'd like to see you try." Thalia laughed.

**I looked back at the farmhouse. It was a lot bigger than I'd realized—four stories tall, sky blue**

**with white trim, like an upscale seaside resort. I was checking out the brass eagle weather vane on**

**top when something caught my eye, a shadow in the uppermost window of the attic gable.**

"A mummy." Apollo said pointedly.

Hades scowled, but said nothing.

**Something had moved the curtain, just for a second, and I got the distinct impression I was being**

**watched.**

"I knew Percy was being stalked." Connor said solemnly.

**"What's up there?" I asked Chiron.**

**He looked where I was pointing, and his smile faded. "Just the attic."**

**"Somebody lives there?"**

**"No," he said with finality. "Not a single living thing."**

"Not a single living thing." Apollo repeated.

Hades glared. "I told you already..."

"Just read." Athena snapped.

"We've already had enough arguments to last us a few years." Dionysus muttered.

**I got the feeling he was being truthful. But I was also sure something had moved that curtain.**

**"Come along, Percy," Chiron said, his lighthearted tone now a little forced. "Lots to see."**

**We walked through the strawberry fields, where campers were picking bushels of berries while a**

**satyr played a tune on a reed pipe.**

Thalia shuddered involuntarily, remembering what satyr music sounded like.

**Chiron told me the camp grew a nice crop for export to New York restaurants and Mount**

**Olympus. "It pays our expenses," he explained. "And the strawberries take almost no effort."**

"Go Mr. D!" Travis cheered.

Dionysus sighed. "Any more comments, Turner, and I will turn you into a dolphin."

**He said Mr. D had this effect on fruit-bearing plants: they just went crazy when he was**

**around. It worked best with wine grapes, but Mr. D was restricted from growing those, so they**

**grew strawberries instead.**

"Why do you drink grape juice then?" Connor asked.

Dionysus sighed again. "That is none of your business, Curtis."

**I watched the satyr playing his pipe. His music was causing lines of bugs to leave the**

**strawberry patch in every direction, like refugees fleeing a fire. I wondered if Grover could work**

**that kind of magic with music. I wondered if he was still inside the farmhouse, getting chewed**

**out by Mr. D.**

"Did he get into trouble?" Annabeth wondered out loud. "I hope he'll be okay."

**"Grover won't get in too much trouble, will he?" I asked Chiron. "I mean ... he was a good**

**protector. Really."**

Thalia grinned. "Yeah, he was."

**Chiron sighed. He shed his tweed jacket and draped it over his horses back like a saddle.**

**"Grover has big dreams, Percy. Perhaps bigger than are reasonable. To reach his goal, he must**

**first demonstrate great courage by succeeding as a keeper, finding a new camper and bringing**

**him safely to Half-Blood Hill."**

"What big dreams?" Percy asked.

"But he brought Percy back safely." Annabeth protested.

Bianca grinned. "I thought you said this was 'just a story'."

**"But he did that!"**

**"I might agree with you," Chiron said. "But it is not my place to judge. Dionysus and the**

**Council of Cloven Elders must decide. I'm afraid they might not see this assignment as a success.**

**After all, Grover lost you in New York. Then there's the unfortunate ... ah ... fate of your mother.**

**And the fact that Grover was unconscious when you dragged him over the property line. The**

**council might question whether this shows any courage on Grover's part."**

"He was as brave as he could be." Percy snorted.

"Braver than you are, maybe." Thalia winked.

**I wanted to protest. None of what happened was Grover's fault. I also felt really, really guilty.**

**If I hadn't given Grover the slip at the bus station, he might not have gotten in trouble.**

"Technically, it's your fault, then." Travis said in a pompous voice.

"You know you're not making him feel better?" Annabeth snapped.

**"He'll get a second chance, won't he?"**

**Chiron winced. "I'm afraid that **_**was **_**Grover's second chance, Percy. The council was not**

**anxious to give him another, either, after what happened the first time, five years ago. Olympus**

**knows, I advised him to wait longer before trying again. He's still so small for his age... "**

"What was his first chance?" Hermes thought out loud.

**"How old is he?"**

**"Oh, twenty-eight."**

"What?" Bianca stared.

"Satyrs mature half as fast as humans." Athena explained.

**"What! And he's in sixth grade?"**

**"Satyrs mature half as fast as humans, Percy. Grover has been the equivalent of a middle**

**school student for the past six years."**

"Such torture." Travis said. "Middle school for six years."

**"That's horrible."**

**"Quite," Chiron agreed. "At any rate, Grover is a late bloomer, even by satyr standards, and**

**not yet very accomplished at woodland magic. Alas, he was anxious to pursue his dream. Perhaps**

**now he will find some other career... ."**

"What career?" Bianca asked.

"Stop asking so many questions." Hades grumbled. "It's bad enough without the interruptions."

**"That's not fair," I said. "What happened the first time? Was it really so bad?"**

**Chiron looked away quickly. "Let's move along, shall we?"**

"It must have been really bad." Aphrodite said sympathetically.

**But I wasn't quite ready to let the subject drop. Something had occurred to me when Chiron**

**talked about my mother's fate, as if he were intentionally avoiding the word **_**death. **_**The**

**beginnings of an idea—a tiny, hopeful fire—started forming in my mind.**

"Because maybe his mother isn't dead." Artemis pointed out.

Hades sighed again. "I told you, I never did any of this. And since when are you so protective of heroes. What about Hercules?"

Artemis snapped. "That's not my point."

"Then just let me read, please."

**"Chiron," I said. "If the gods and Olympus and all that are real ..."**

**"Yes, child?"**

**"Does that mean the Underworld is real, too?"**

Hades couldn't resist snorting.

"I thought you didn't like interruptions?" Apollo asked innocently.

Hades ignored him.

**Chiron's expression darkened.**

**"Yes, child." He paused, as if choosing his words carefully. "There is a place where spirits go**

**after death. But for now ... until we know more . . . I would urge you to put that out of your**

**mind."**

"Orpheus succeeded." Percy muttered.

"Obviously the Underworld isn't so hard to get in these days." Apollo mocked.

"It's getting out that's the problem." Hades agreed, smirking.

**"What do you mean, 'until we know more'?"**

**"Come, Percy. Let's see the woods."**

Thalia grinned, remembering how she had met Percy in the woods during Capture-The-Flag.

**As we got closer, I realized how huge the forest was. It took up at least a quarter of the valley,**

**with trees so tall and thick, you could imagine nobody had been in there since the Native**

**Americans.**

A few people snorted.

**Chiron said, "The woods are stocked, if you care to try your luck, but go armed."**

**"Stocked with what?" I asked. "Armed with what?"**

**"You'll see. Capture the flag is Friday night. Do you have your own sword and shield?"**

"I love Capture-The-Flag." Annabeth smiled.

"That's because you always win." Travis said dejectedly. "It gets depressing after a while."

**"My own—?"**

**"No," Chiron said. "I don't suppose you do. I think a size five will do. I'll visit the armory**

**later."**

"I wonder how good Percy is with a sword and shield." Ares smirked. "Probably not a patch on the war god."

Aphrodite rolled her eyes. "You are such a show off."

**I wanted to ask what kind of summer camp had an armory, but there was too much else to**

**think about, so the tour continued. We saw the archery range, the canoeing lake, the stables**

**(which Chiron didn't seem to like very much), the javelin range, the sing-along amphitheater, and**

**the arena where Chiron said they held sword and spear fights.**

"I like the stables." Thalia winked.

"I don't." Nico muttered. "Pegasii hate me."

**"Sword and spear fights?" I asked.**

**"Cabin challenges and all that," he explained. "Not lethal. Usually. Oh, yes, and there's the**

**mess hall."**

"Usually not lethal?" Percy raised an eyebrow. "Isn't that reassuring?"

**Chiron pointed to an outdoor pavilion framed in white Grecian columns on a hill overlooking**

**the sea. There were a dozen stone picnic tables. No roof. No walls.**

**"What do you do when it rains?" I asked.**

"Stupid question, me." Percy smirked.

**Chiron looked at me as if I'd gone a little weird. "We still have to eat, don't we?" I decided to**

**drop the subject.**

**Finally, he showed me the cabins. There were twelve of them, nestled in the woods by the**

**lake. They were arranged in a U, with two at the base and five in a row on either side. And they**

**were without doubt the most bizarre collection of buildings I'd ever seen.**

"Not your regular summer camp." Nico agreed.

**Except for the fact that each had a large brass number above the door (odds on the left side,**

**evens on the right), they looked absolutely nothing alike. Number nine had smokestacks, like a**

**tiny factory. Number four had tomato vines on the walls and a roof made out of real grass. **

Demeter looked pleased with herself.

**Seven seemed to be made of solid gold, which gleamed so much in the sunlight it was almost impossible to look at. **

"Like his teeth." Thalia whispered to Annabeth nodding at Apollo who was proudly displaying said teeth.

**They all faced a commons area about the size of a soccer field, dotted with Greek**

**statues, fountains, flower beds, and a couple of basketball hoops (which were more my speed).**

"You play basketball?" Connor looked shocked. "Yeah, right."

**In the center of the field was a huge stone-lined firepit. Even though it was a warm afternoon,**

**the hearth smoldered. A girl about nine years old was tending the flames, poking the coals with a**

**stick.**

"We don't have any nine year old campers." Thalia said, puzzled.

"This is an alternate reality." Annabeth reminded her.

"Yeah, well, it's probably Hestia." Percy said knowingly. "Goddess of the hearth."

**The pair of cabins at the head of the field, numbers one and two, looked like his-and-hers**

**mausoleums, big white marble boxes with heavy columns in front. Cabin one was the biggest and**

**bulkiest of the twelve. Its polished bronze doors shimmered like a hologram, so that from**

**different angles lightning bolts seemed to streak across them. Cabin two was more graceful**

**somehow, with slimmer columns garlanded with pomegranates and flowers. The walls were**

**carved with images of peacocks.**

Zeus and Hera looked satisfied with these descriptions.

**"Zeus and Hera?" I guessed.**

Athena tutted. "What happened to throwing names about?"

**"Correct," Chiron said.**

**"Their cabins look empty."**

**"Several of the cabins are. That's true. No one ever stays in one or two."**

"No one has ever stayed in my cabin." Hera said pointedly.

Zeus sighed. "The counsellor went over this with us, dear."

**Okay. So each cabin had a different god, like a mascot. Twelve cabins for the twelve**

**Olympians. But why would some be empty?**

Hades paused to cough.

**I stopped in front of the first cabin on the left, cabin three.**

Thalia grinned widely.

**It wasn't high and mighty like cabin one, but long and low and solid. The outer walls were of**

**rough gray stone studded with pieces of seashell and coral, as if the slabs had been hewn straight**

**from the bottom of the ocean floor. I peeked inside the open doorway and Chiron said, "Oh, I**

**wouldn't do that!"**

Poseidon smiled, remembering how he had personally supervised the construction of Cabin three.

**Before he could pull me back, I caught the salty scent of the interior, like the wind on the**

**shore at Montauk. The interior walls glowed like abalone. There were six empty bunk beds with**

**silk sheets turned down. But there was no sign anyone had ever slept there. The place felt so sad**

**and lonely, I was glad when Chiron put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Come along, Percy."**

Travis smirked. "Yeah, well, Percy's gonna live there."

"Oh, fun." Thalia said irritatedly.

**Most of the other cabins were crowded with campers.**

**Number five was bright red—a real nasty paint job, as if the color had been splashed on with**

**buckets and fists. The roof was lined with barbed wire. A stuffed wild boar's head hung over the**

**doorway, and its eyes seemed to follow me. Inside I could see a bunch of mean-looking kids,**

**both girls and boys, arm wrestling and arguing with each other while rock music blared. The**

**loudest was a girl maybe thirteen or fourteen. She wore a size XXXL CAMP HALF-BLOOD Tshirt**

**under a camouflage jacket. She zeroed in on me and gave me an evil sneer. She reminded**

**me of Nancy Bobofit, though the camper girl was much bigger and tougher looking, and her hair**

**was long and stringy, and brown instead of red.**

Ares grinned unpleasantly. "My kids."

"Only _you_ would be proud of them." Hephaestus couldn't stop himself.

**I kept walking, trying to stay clear of Chiron's hooves. "We haven't seen any other centaurs,"**

**I observed.**

Everyone laughed, remembering the 'Party Ponies'.

**"No," said Chiron sadly. "My kinsmen are a wild and barbaric folk, I'm afraid. You might**

**encounter them in the wilderness, or at major sporting events. But you won't see any here."**

"Or at parties." Travis suggested.

"Nah," Connor grinned. "That would be Mr. D."

**"You said your name was Chiron. Are you really ..."**

**He smiled down at me. **_**"The **_**Chiron from the stories? Trainer of Hercules and all that? Yes,**

**Percy, I am."**

**"But, shouldn't you be dead?"**

Annabeth laughed softly. "Smart question, Percy."

**Chiron paused, as if the question intrigued him. "I honestly don't know about **_**should **_**be. The**

**truth is, I **_**can't **_**be dead. You see, eons ago the gods granted my wish. I could continue the work I**

**loved. I could be a teacher of heroes as long as humanity needed me. I gained much from that**

**wish ... and I gave up much. But I'm still here, so I can only assume I'm still needed."**

**I thought about being a teacher for three thousand years. It wouldn't have made my Top Ten**

**Things to Wish For list.**

"Lies." Travis pretended to look shocked.

"Yeah, don't you love terrorising little kids?" Connor asked.

"With Latin verbs, Greek myths, vocabulary..." Travis smirked.

**"Doesn't it ever get boring?"**

**"No, no," he said. "Horribly depressing, at times, but never boring."**

"Depressing?" Annabeth asked curiously.

**"Why depressing?"**

"You the boss." Connor smirked at Annabeth.

**Chiron seemed to turn hard of hearing again.**

**"Oh, look," he said. "Annabeth is waiting for us."**

"Awesome." Percy muttered.

**The blond girl I'd met at the Big House was reading a book in front of the last cabin on the left,**

**number eleven.**

"A daughter of Hermes?" Athena asked incredulously.

"Of course not." Travis looked offended. "She's reading a book. No sister of mine would read a book."

"Yeah," Connor chimed in. "No offense."

**When we reached her, she looked me over critically, like she was still thinking about how**

**much I drooled.**

Annabeth smirked.

**I tried to see what she was reading, but I couldn't make out the title. I thought my dyslexia**

**was acting up. Then I realized the title wasn't even English. The letters looked Greek to me. I**

**mean, literally Greek. There were pictures of temples and statues and different kinds of columns,**

**like those in an architecture book.**

"Annabeth is _smart_." Travis said in awe.

"And Percy isn't." Connor gasped. "The apocalypse is upon us!"

**"Annabeth," Chiron said, "I have masters' archery class at noon. Would you take Percy from**

**here?"**

**"Yes, sir."**

**"Cabin eleven," Chiron told me, gesturing toward the doorway. "Make yourself at home."**

"Doesn't everyone." Hermes said under his breath.

**Out of all the cabins, eleven looked the most like a regular old summer camp cabin, with the**

**emphasis on **_**old. **_**The threshold was worn down, the brown paint peeling. Over the doorway was**

**one of those doctor's symbols, a winged pole with two snakes wrapped around it. What did they**

**call it... ? A caduceus.**

Connor and Travis started cheering.

**Inside, it was packed with people, both boys and girls, way more than the number of bunk**

**beds. Sleeping bags were spread all over on the floor. It looked like a gym where the Red Cross**

**had set up an evacuation center.**

Travis smirked. "True that."

**Chiron didn't go in. The door was too low for him. But when the campers saw him they all**

**stood and bowed ****respectfully.**

**"Well, then," Chiron said. "Good luck, Percy. I'll see you at dinner."**

**He galloped away toward the archery range.**

Connor grinned. "If we're not in this story Perce, I'll pulverise you."

**I stood in the doorway, looking at the kids. They weren't bowing anymore. They were staring**

**at me, sizing me up. I knew this routine. I'd gone through it at enough schools.**

**"Well?" Annabeth prompted. "Go on."**

"I bet you he does something embarrassing." Thalia whispered to Annabeth. "I know I did when I was new."

**So naturally I tripped coming in the door and made a total fool of myself. There were some**

**snickers from the campers, but none of them said anything.**

"I told you so." Thalia grinned.

"I didn't accept your bet." Annabeth said in her best haughty voice.

**Annabeth announced, "Percy Jackson, meet cabin eleven."**

**"Regular or undetermined?" somebody asked.**

**I didn't know what to say, but Annabeth said, "Undetermined."**

**Everybody groaned.**

"Nice welcome, guys." Percy nodded at the Stolls.

**A guy who was a little older than the rest came forward. "Now, now, campers. That's what**

**we're here for. Welcome, Percy. You can have that spot on the floor, right over there."**

"There are still spots left on the floor?" Travis asked incredulously.

**The guy was about nineteen, and he looked pretty cool. He was tall and muscular, with shortcropped sandy hair and a friendly smile. He wore an orange tank top, cutoffs, sandals, and a**

**leather necklace with five different-colored clay beads. The only thing unsettling about his**

**appearance was a thick white scar that ran from just beneath his right eye to his jaw, like an old**

**knife slash.**

"He sounds hot." Thalia murmured to Annabeth, so that Percy wouldn't hear.

**"This is Luke," Annabeth said, and her voice sounded different somehow. I glanced over and**

**could've sworn she was blushing. She saw me looking, and her expression hardened again. "He's**

**your counselor for now."**

Percy shot a knowing glance at Annabeth.

**"For now?" I asked.**

**"You're undetermined," Luke explained patiently. "They don't know what cabin to put you in,**

**so you're here. Cabin eleven takes all newcomers, all visitors. Naturally, we would. Hermes, our**

**patron, is the god of travelers."**

Connor and Travis made a big show of bowing to Hermes. This time, it was Hermes's turn to tell his sons not to embarrass him in public.

**I looked at the tiny section of floor they'd given me. I had nothing to put there to mark it as**

**my own, no luggage, no clothes, no sleeping bag. Just the Minotaur's horn. I thought about setting**

**that down, but then I remembered that Hermes was also the god of thieves.**

Connor smirked at that. "How true."

**I looked around at the campers' faces, some sullen and suspicious, some grinning stupidly,**

**some eyeing me as if they were waiting for a chance to pick my pockets.**

Thalia laughed. "One big, happy family."

**"How long will I be here?" I asked.**

**"Good question," Luke said. "Until you're determined."**

**"How long will that take?"**

**The campers all laughed.**

Connor and Travis laughed too. "Stupid question for a guy who's killed the minotaur."

**"Come on," Annabeth told me. "I'll show you the volleyball court."**

**"I've already seen it."**

**"Come on." She grabbed my wrist and dragged me outside. I could hear the kids of cabin**

**eleven laughing behind me.**

"At least one of you has some sense." Athena said approvingly.

**When we were a few feet away, Annabeth said, "Jackson, you have to do better than that."**

**"What?"**

**She rolled her eyes and mumbled under her breath, "I can't believe I thought you were the**

**one."**

"The one." Travis said mysteriously.

No doubt they were about to burst into song or do something else humorous, but Zeus drummed his fingers impatiently on his lightning bolt.

**"What's your problem?" I was getting angry now. "All I know is, I kill some bull guy—"**

"Some bull guy?" Artemis asked incredulously. "Defeating the minotaur is no mean feat, Perseus Jackson."

Ares scratched his head. "You know, I follow you just fine, and then you throw in something like 'mean feat' and I've lost you."

**"Don't talk like that!" Annabeth told me. "You know how many kids at this camp wish they'd**

**had your chance?"**

**"To get killed?"**

Annabeth smirked again.

**"To fight the Minotaur! What do you think we train for?"**

**I shook my head. "Look, if the thing I fought really was **_**the **_**Minotaur, the same one in the**

**stories ..."**

**"Yes."**

**"Then there's only one."**

**"Yes."**

"I knew you were smart." Thalia snorted.

**"And he died, like, a gajillion years ago, right? Theseus killed him in the labyrinth. So ..."**

**"Monsters don't die, Percy. They can be killed. But they don't die."**

"Like that made any sense."Percy grinned at Annabeth.

**"Oh, thanks. That clears it up."**

**"They don't have souls, like you and me. You can dispel them for a while, maybe even for a**

**whole lifetime if you're lucky. But they are primal forces. Chiron calls them archetypes.**

**Eventually, they re-form."**

"Yeah, but normally you're not so lucky." Thalia muttered, remembering the hydra that had reformed after barely two years.

**I thought about Mrs. Dodds. "You mean if I killed one, accidentally, with a sword—"**

**"The Fur ... I mean, your math teacher. That's right. She's still out there. You just made her**

**very, very mad."**

"How do you know that?" Percy demanded.

Annabeth shrugged. "Psychic powers."

Travis stared at her. "Was that a joke? Maybe you should give me some warning next time you make a joke, so that I know to laugh."

**"How did you know about Mrs. Dodds?"**

**"You talk in your sleep."**

"Psychic powers." Connor grinned.

**"You almost called her something. A Fury? They're Hades' torturers, right?"**

"Torturers." Hades sighed. "They're just misinterpreted."

**Annabeth glanced nervously at the ground, as if she expected it to open up and swallow her.**

**"You shouldn't call them by name, even here. We call them the Kindly Ones, if we have to speak**

**of them at all."**

"Exactly." Athena approved of this new Annabeth.

**"Look, is there anything we **_**can **_**say without it thundering?" I sounded whiny, even to myself,**

**but right then I didn't care. "Why do I have to stay in cabin eleven, anyway? Why is everybody so**

**crowded together? There are plenty of empty bunks right over there."**

"You're right, punk." Ares sneered. "You do sound whiny."

**I pointed to the first few cabins, and Annabeth turned pale. "You don't just choose a cabin,**

**Percy. It depends on who your parents are. Or ... your parent."**

**She stared at me, waiting for me to get it.**

"This is going to take a while." Nico commented.

**"My mom is Sally Jackson," I said. "She works at the candy store in Grand Central Station.**

**At least, she used to."**

"Could you send me free candy, Mrs Jackson?" Travis asked eagerly.

Sally laughed. "I don't work there anymore."

**"I'm sorry about your mom, Percy. But that's not what I mean. I'm talking about your other**

**parent. Your dad."**

**"He's dead. I never knew him."**

"Every single new kid has this conversation." Athena muttered irritatedly. "It must be their mortal side."

**Annabeth sighed. Clearly, she'd had this conversation before with other kids. "Your father's**

**not dead, Percy."**

**"How can you say that? You know him?"**

Thalia grinned. "I do."

**"No, of course not."**

**"Then how can you say—"**

**"Because I know **_**you. **_**You wouldn't be here if you weren't one of us."**

**"You don't know anything about me."**

"Of course she does." Connor laughed. "Everyone stalks you, Perce."

**"No?" She raised an eyebrow. "I bet you moved around from school to school. I bet you were**

**kicked out of a lot of them."**

**"How—"**

**"Diagnosed with dyslexia. Probably ADHD, too."**

"It's not nice to say that to someone's face." Percy mumbled.

**I tried to swallow my embarrassment. "What does that have to do with anything?"**

**"Taken together, it's almost a sure sign. The letters float off the page when you read, right?**

**That's because your mind is hardwired for ancient Greek. And the ADHD—you're impulsive,**

**can't sit still in the classroom. That's your battlefield reflexes. In a real fight, they'd keep you**

**alive. As for the attention problems, that's because you see too much, Percy, not too little. Your**

**senses are better than a regular mortal's. Of course the teachers want you medicated. Most of**

**them are monsters. They don't want you seeing them for what they are."**

"Evil math teachers." Thalia smirked.

"In your case," Percy corrected. "Evil ice cream vendors."

**"You sound like ... you went through the same thing?"**

**"Most of the kids here did. If you weren't like us, you couldn't have survived the Minotaur,**

**much less the ambrosia and nectar."**

"Apple juice." Connor corrected.

Demeter nodded her approval.

Travis had to try hard not to laugh.

**"Ambrosia and nectar."**

**"The food and drink we were giving you to make you better. That stuff would've killed a**

**normal kid. It would've turned your blood to fire and your bones to sand and you'd be dead. Face**

**it. You're a half-blood."**

"Congratulations, Percy." Travis said solemnly.

**A half-blood.**

**I was reeling with so many questions I didn't know where to start.**

**Then a husky voice yelled, "Well! A newbie!"**

"That doesn't sound good." Bianca muttered.

**I looked over. The big girl from the ugly red cabin was sauntering toward us. She had three**

**other girls behind her, all big and ugly and mean looking like her, all wearing camo jackets.**

"Ugly red cabin." Hephaestus laughed.

Are growled. "You think you're so smart, don't you, punk?"

**"Clarisse," Annabeth sighed. "Why don't you go polish your spear or something?"**

**"Sure, Miss Princess," the big girl said. "So I can run you through with it Friday night."**

"That definitely doesn't sound good." Bianca repeated. She hated bullies. She'd had more experience with bullies in her one year at Westover than most people had had in their lifetime.

_**''Erre es korakas!" **_**Annabeth said, which I somehow understood was Greek for 'Go to the**

**crows!' though I had a feeling it was a worse curse than it sounded. "You don't stand a chance."**

"Mind your language." Travis winked.

**"We'll pulverize you," Clarisse said, but her eye twitched. Perhaps she wasn't sure she could**

**follow through on the threat. She turned toward me. "Who's this little runt?"**

"Who are you?" Annabeth wondered. "I don't remember _anyone_like her at camp."

**"Percy Jackson," Annabeth said, "meet Clarisse, daughter of Ares."**

"Clarisse?" Percy asked, puzzled.

**I blinked. "Like ... the war god?"**

**Clarisse sneered. "You got a problem with that?"**

**"No," I said, recovering my wits. "It explains the bad smell."**

A few people laughed at that.

**Clarisse growled. "We got an initiation ceremony for newbies, Prissy."**

**"Percy."**

**"Whatever. Come on, I'll show you."**

Bianca scowled. She was definitely glad she'd chosen to be a Hunter.

**"Clarisse—" Annabeth tried to say.**

**"Stay out of it, wise girl."**

"Not your fight." Athena murmured absent-mindedly. She couldn't help advising her alternate daughter.

**Annabeth looked pained, but she did stay out of it, and I didn't really want her help. I was the**

**new kid. I had to earn my own rep.**

Athena nodded approvingly.

Ares smirked. "You don't stand a chance, Prissy."

**I handed Annabeth my minotaur horn and got ready to fight, but before I knew it, Clarisse**

**had me by the neck and was dragging me toward a cinder-block building that I knew immediately**

**was the bathroom.**

"That's where the toilets come in." Connor said.

**I was kicking and punching. I'd been in plenty of fights before, but this big girl Clarisse had**

**hands like iron. She dragged me into the girls' bathroom. There was a line of toilets on one side**

**and a line of shower stalls down the other. It smelled just like any public bathroom, and I was**

**thinking—as much as I **_**could **_**think with Clarisse ripping my hair out—that if this place belonged**

**to the gods, they should've been able to afford classier johns.**

"Maybe you should fix it." Ares laughed, gesturing to Hephaestus. Hephaestus didn't look thrilled with the idea.

**Clarisse's friends were all laughing, and I was trying to find the strength I'd used to fight the**

**Minotaur, but it just wasn't there.**

**"Like he's 'Big Three' material," Clarisse said as she pushed me toward one of the toilets.**

"He is, actually." Percy said.

"I never like Cabin five." Thalia murmured to Percy.

**"Yeah, right. Minotaur probably fell over laughing, he was so stupid looking."**

Ares was the only one smirking.

**Her friends snickered.**

**Annabeth stood in the corner, watching through her fingers.**

Annabeth winced. "Sorry I didn't help."

"It never happened." Percy said reassuringly.

**Clarisse bent me over on my knees and started pushing my head toward the toilet bowl. It**

**reeked like rusted pipes and, well, like what goes into toilets. I strained to keep my head up. I was**

**looking at the scummy water, thinking, I will not go into that. I won't.**

"Good thinking." Travis snorted.

**Then something happened. I felt a tug in the pit of my stomach. I heard the plumbing rumble,**

**the pipes shudder. Clarisse's grip on my hair loosened. Water shot out of the toilet, making an arc**

**straight over my head, and the next thing I knew, I was sprawled on the bathroom tiles with**

**Clarisse screaming behind me.**

"That's more like it." Bianca was grinning widely.

**I turned just as water blasted out of the toilet again, hitting Clarisse straight in the face so**

**hard it pushed her down onto her butt. The water stayed on her like the spray from a fire hose,**

**pushing her backward into a shower stall.**

Ares wasn't smirking anymore.

**She struggled, gasping, and her friends started coming toward her. But then the other toilets**

**exploded, too, and six more streams of toilet water blasted them back. The showers acted up, too,**

**and together all the fixtures sprayed the camouflage girls right out of the bathroom, spinning them around like pieces of garbage being washed away.**

"Pieces of garbage." Thalia muttered. "Perfect description."

**As soon as they were out the door, I felt the tug in my gut lessen, and the water shut off as**

**quickly as it had started.**

**The entire bathroom was flooded. Annabeth hadn't been spared. She was dripping wet, but**

**she hadn't been pushed out the door. She was standing in exactly the same place, staring at me in**

**shock.**

Annabeth looked embarrassed, realising that she was covered with toilet water.

**I looked down and realized I was sitting in the only dry spot in the whole room. There was a**

**circle of dry floor around me. I didn't have one drop of water on my clothes. Nothing.**

"Never mess with Percy in the toilet." Connor said sagely. "Or the toilet will mess with you."

**I stood up, my legs shaky.**

**Annabeth said, "How did you ..."**

**"I don't know."**

"I do." Thalia grinned.

**We walked to the door. Outside, Clarisse and her friends were sprawled in the mud, and a**

**bunch of other campers had gathered around to gawk. Clarisse's hair was flattened across her**

**face. Her camouflage jacket was sopping and she smelled like sewage. She gave me a look of**

**absolute hatred. "You are dead, new boy. You are totally dead."**

**I probably should have let it go, but I said, "You want to gargle with toilet water again,**

**Clarisse? Close your mouth."**

Everyone laughed.

**Her friends had to hold her back. They dragged her toward cabin five, while the other**

**campers made way to avoid her flailing feet.**

Bianca smirked in a very un-Bianca-like way.

**Annabeth stared at me. I couldn't tell whether she was just grossed out or angry at me for**

**dousing her.**

"Probably both." Annabeth said.

**"What?" I demanded. "What are you thinking?"**

**"I'm thinking," She said, "that I want you on my team for capture the flag."**

"Business as usual." Thalia winked.

Hades, unbelievably, was still looking bored. "Nico, you can read next."

He shook his head. "No thank you."

"Why don't you read, Sally?" Artemis suggested.

Sally blushed. "Um... okay."

She took the book from Hades and sat down on her chair.

Xxx

**Well? Tell me what you think, amigos!**


	8. Twenty One and Counting

**Again, it's good to see reviews :D**

**I know this update is a little off, but I had to follow up on my shower. Go stalk my new story to find out more :P To quickly answer all your reviews-**

**Itsybitsybookworm- Ha ha no probs :D **

**PercyxArtemis- Nah… I thought about it, but black-haired, green-eyed heroes are just too awesome to change :D So they all look the same, except Thalia of course, she's lost the punk look.**

**The Sea Goddess- Actually that's the next chapter :P But it's gonna be awesome ;) Wait and watch**

**SpriteBlue- Thanks ^_^ Oh, and that's because since everyone got messed up, Luke ended up as a girl in my version :P Lucy. I know, it's so dumb it's actually funny xD**

**RainingSkittles- Thanks :D**

**PLKBerry- Actually, any character I take out of the books is from the time Percy's missing, which is why Sally hugged Percy. And Annabeth could show up any time ;)**

_My Dinner Goes up in Smoke_

"My dinner goes up in smoke." Sally read.

"Cheerful." Apollo winked.

**Word of the bathroom incident spread immediately. Wherever I went, campers pointed at me and**

**murmured something about toilet water. Or maybe they were just staring at Annabeth, who was**

**still pretty much dripping wet.**

"Thanks a lot, Prissy." Annabeth smirked.

"No problem, Wise Girl." Percy smirked back.

**She showed me a few more places: the metal shop (where kids were forging their own**

**swords), the arts-and-crafts room (where satyrs were sandblasting a giant marble statue of a goatman),**

"Goatman." Thalia snorted.

**and the climbing wall, which actually consisted of two facing walls that shook violently,**

**dropped boulders, sprayed lava, and clashed together if you didn't get to the top fast enough.**

Thalia shuddered. "I hate the climbing wall."

"But you're so good at it." Nico pointed out.

"Maybe that's because I don't like falling in the lava." She muttered.

**Finally we returned to the canoeing lake, where the trail led back to the cabins.**

**"I've got training to do," Annabeth said flatly. "Dinner's at seven-thirty. Just follow your**

**cabin to the mess hall."**

"Dinner is my favourite time of the day." Connor grinned.

**"Annabeth, I'm sorry about the toilets."**

**"Whatever."**

**"It wasn't my fault."**

"Yeah, right." Annabeth laughed. "You made the toilets explode over me, Percy. Ew."

**She looked at me skeptically, and I realized it **_**was **_**my fault. I'd made water shoot out of the**

**bathroom fixtures. I didn't understand how. But the toilets had responded to me. I had become**

**one with the plumbing.**

A few people snickered at how silly that sounded.

**"You need to talk to the Oracle," Annabeth said.**

**"Who?"**

**"Not who. What. The Oracle. I'll ask Chiron."**

"Way to be confusing, huh." Thalia smiled.

**I stared into the lake, wishing somebody would give me a straight answer for once.**

**I wasn't expecting anybody to be looking back at me from the bottom, so my heart skipped a**

**beat when I noticed two teenage girls sitting cross-legged at the base of the pier, about twenty**

**feet below. They wore blue jeans and shimmering green T-shirts, and their brown hair floated**

**loose around their shoulders as minnows darted in and out. They smiled and waved as if I were a**

**long-lost friend.**

"Naiads." Thalia's smile widened. "You gotta love them."

**I didn't know what else to do. I waved back.**

**"Don't encourage them," Annabeth warned. "Naiads are terrible flirts."**

"That's true." Annabeth smirked at Thalia.

**"Naiads," I repeated, feeling completely overwhelmed. "That's it. I want to go home now."**

**Annabeth frowned. "Don't you get it, Percy? You **_**are **_**home. This is the only safe place on**

**earth for kids like us."**

**"You mean, mentally disturbed kids?"**

Travis grinned. "Exactly."

**"I mean **_**not human. **_**Not totally human, anyway. Half-human."**

**"Half-human and half-what?"**

"Donkey." Connor joked.

Annabeth sighed dramatically. "You two can never tell when your jokes get old, can you?"

**"I think you know."**

**I didn't want to admit it, but I was afraid I did. I felt a tingling in my limbs, a sensation I**

**sometimes felt when my mom talked about my dad.**

**"God," I said. "Half-god."**

Travis cheered loudly. "Go, Percy!"

"He's very bright like that, our Percy is." Connor cheered.

**Annabeth nodded. "Your father isn't dead, Percy. He's one of the Olympians."**

**"That's ... crazy."**

Poseidon smiled.

**"Is it? What's the most common thing gods did in the old stories? They ran around falling in**

**love with humans and having kids with them. Do you think they've changed their habits in the**

**last few millennia?"**

Everyone who wasn't an Olympian laughed. Of course, Hera and Artemis laughed too.

**"But those are just—" I almost said **_**myths **_**again. Then I remembered Chiron's warning that in**

**two thousand years, **_**I **_**might be considered a myth. "But if all the kids here are half-gods—"**

**"Demigods," Annabeth said. "That's the official term. Or half-bloods."**

"Half-god doesn't really sound catchy, know what I mean?" Hermes asked cheerily.

**"Then who's your dad?"**

**Her hands tightened around the pier railing. I got the feeling I'd just trespassed on a sensitive**

**subject.**

Annabeth grinned. "Did you think all the gods were male?"

**"My dad is a professor at West Point," she said. "I haven't seen him since I was very small.**

**He teaches American history."**

"That sounds cool." Percy muttered.

**"He's human."**

**"What? You assume it has to be a male god who finds a human female attractive? How sexist**

**is that?"**

"Very sexist." Thalia agreed.

**"Who's your mom, then?"**

**"Cabin six."**

**"Meaning?"**

**Annabeth straightened. "Athena. Goddess of wisdom and battle."**

Athena smiled for the second time that day.

**Okay, I thought. Why not?**

**"And my dad?"**

**"Undetermined," Annabeth said, "like I told you before. Nobody knows."**

"That's why they call it undetermined." Nico said. "Because no one knows.

"Undetermined doesn't mean..." Bianca began.

"Stop arguing." Hades grumbled.

**"Except my mother. She knew."**

**"Maybe not, Percy. Gods don't always reveal their identities."**

**"My dad would have. He loved her."**

Poseidon coughed and stared at the floor.

**Annabeth gave me a cautious look. She didn't want to burst my bubble. "Maybe you're right.**

**Maybe he'll send a sign. That's the only way to know for sure: your father has to send you a sign**

**claiming you as his son. Sometimes it happens."**

"Only sometimes." Artemis pointed out. "Better not to fall in love or have children."

"You all argue like a bunch of teenagers." Zeus snapped.

**"You mean sometimes it doesn't?"**

"Exactly." Artemis said, satisfied.

**Annabeth ran her palm along the rail. "The gods are busy. They have a lot of kids and they**

**don't always ... Well, sometimes they don't care about us, Percy. They ignore us."**

The gods looked a little uncomfortable.

**I thought about some of the kids I'd seen in the Hermes cabin, teenagers who looked sullen**

**and depressed, as if they were waiting for a call that would never come. I'd known kids like that**

**at Yancy Academy, shuffled off to boarding school by rich parents who didn't have the time to**

**deal with them. But gods should behave better.**

"So true." Thalia muttered. "So. True."

**"So I'm stuck here," I said. "That's it? For the rest of my life?"**

**"It depends," Annabeth said. "Some campers only stay the summer. If you're a child of**

**Aphrodite or Demeter, you're probably not a real powerful force."**

"What?" Aphrodite and Demeter asked simultaneously.

"**The monsters might ignore you, so you can get by with a few months of summer training and live in the mortal world the rest of the year. But for some of us, it's too dangerous to leave. We're year-rounders. In the mortal world, we attract monsters. They sense us. They come to challenge us. Most of the time, they'll ignore us**

**until we're old enough to cause trouble—about ten or eleven years old, but after that, most**

**demigods either make their way here, or they get killed off. A few manage to survive in the**

**outside world and become famous. Believe me, ****if I told ****you the names, you'd know them. Some**

**don't even realize they're demigods. But very, very few are like that."**

"Like who?" Percy asked.

"Like who_m_." Athena corrected automatically.

**"So monsters can't get in here?"**

**Annabeth shook her head. "Not unless they're intentionally stocked in the woods or specially**

**summoned by somebody on the inside."**

**"Why would anybody want to summon a monster?"**

**"Practice fights. Practical jokes."**

"Practical jokes?" Bianca asked. "What kind of a practical joke is that?"

**"Practical jokes?"**

"Exactly." Bianca said.

**"The point is, the borders are sealed to keep mortals and monsters out. From the outside,**

**mortals look into the valley and see nothing unusual, just a strawberry farm."**

"Strawberries." Demeter nodded approvingly.

**"So ... you're a year-rounder?"**

**Annabeth nodded. From under the collar of her T-shirt she pulled a leather necklace with five**

**clay beads of different colors. It was just like Luke's, except Annabeth's also had a big gold ring**

**strung on it, like a college ring.**

"What ring?" Annabeth wondered.

"How do I know? It's yours." Thalia pointed out.

**"I've been here since I was seven," she said. "Every August, on the last day of summer**

**session, you get a bead for surviving another year. I've been here longer than most of the**

**counselors, and they're all in college."**

"Surviving isn't a nice word." Travis smirked.

**"Why did you come so young?"**

**She twisted the ring on her necklace. "None of your business."**

"Well done, me." Annabeth grinned.

**"Oh." I stood there for a minute in uncomfortable silence. "So ... I could just walk out of here**

**right now if I wanted to?"**

"Well done, me." Percy said sarcastically.

**"It would be suicide, but you could, with Mr. D's or Chiron's permission. But they wouldn't**

**give permission until the end of the summer session unless ..."**

**"Unless?"**

**"You were granted a quest. But that hardly ever happens. The last time ..."**

**Her voice trailed off. I could tell from her tone that the last time hadn't gone well.**

"Good guess, Brain Boy." Annabeth laughed.

**"Back in the sick room," I said, "when you were feeding me that stuff—"**

**"Ambrosia."**

**"Yeah. You asked me something about the summer solstice."**

**Annabeth's shoulders tensed. "So you **_**do **_**know something?"**

"Percy _always_ knows something." Travis said sagely.

"Our personal Einstein." Connor added.

**"Well... no. Back at my old school, I overheard Grover and Chiron talking about it. Grover**

**mentioned the summer solstice. He said something like we didn't have much time, because of the**

**deadline. What did that mean?"**

"Percy doesn't know?" Connor and Travis mimed heart attacks.

**She clenched her fists. "I wish I knew. Chiron and the satyrs, they know, but they won't tell**

**me. Something is wrong in Olympus, something pretty major. Last time I was there, everything**

**seemed so **_**normal**_**."**

"Nineteen and counting." Bianca whispered to Annabeth as Dionysus summoned another Diet Coke.

"Maybe we should summon a satyr to eat all those Diet Coke cans." Annabeth smirked.

"He would have to be fast enough." Bianca giggled.

**"You've been to Olympus?"**

**"Some of us year-rounders—Luke and Clarisse and I and a few others—we took a field trip**

**during winter solstice. That's when the gods have their big annual council."**

"Go Clarisse." Thalia said drily.

**"But... how did you get there?"**

**"The Long Island Railroad, of course. You get off at Penn Station. Empire State Building,**

**special elevator to the six hundredth floor." She looked at me like she was sure I must know this**

**already. "You **_**are **_**a New Yorker, right?"**

**"Oh, sure." As far as I knew, there were only a hundred and two floors in the Empire State**

**Building, but I decided not to point that out.**

"Smart move." Thalia laughed. "Never correct Annabeth. Unless you'd like fries with that." She winked.

**"Right after we visited," Annabeth continued, "the weather got weird, as if the gods had**

**started fighting. A couple of times since, I've overheard satyrs talking. The best I can figure out is**

**that something important was stolen. And if it isn't returned by summer solstice, there's going to**

**be trouble. When you came, I was hoping ... I mean— Athena can get along with just about**

**anybody, except for Ares. And of course she's got the rivalry with Poseidon. But, I mean, aside**

**from that, I thought we could work together. I thought you might know something."**

"Your mom isn't that social." Aphrodite muttered, shooting killer looks at Athena.

**I shook my head. I wished I could help her, but I felt too hungry and tired and mentally**

**overloaded to ask any more questions.**

**"I've got to get a quest," Annabeth muttered to herself. "I'm **_**not **_**too young. If they would just**

**tell me the problem ..."**

"Single-minded." Thalia teased. "Very single-minded."

**I could smell barbecue smoke coming from somewhere nearby. Annabeth must've heard my**

**stomach growl. She told me to go on, she'd catch me later. I left her on the pier, tracing her finger**

**across the rail as if drawing a battle plan.**

"Daughter of Athena? She probably is." Hephaestus said.

**Back at cabin eleven, everybody was talking and horsing around, waiting for dinner. For the first**

**time, I noticed that a lot of the campers had similar features: sharp noses, upturned eyebrows,**

**mischievous smiles. They were the kind of kids that teachers would peg as troublemakers.**

**Thankfully, nobody paid much attention to me as I walked over to my spot on the floor and**

**plopped down with my minotaur horn.**

"Be lucky we didn't steal it." Connor joked.

**The counselor, Luke, came over. He had the Hermes family resemblance, too. It was marred**

**by that scar on his right cheek, but his smile was intact.**

"I don't remember a Luke." Travis frowned.

**"Found you a sleeping bag," he said. "And here, I stole you some toiletries from the camp**

**store."**

**I couldn't tell if he was kidding about the stealing part.**

"Probably not." Hermes rolled his eyes.

**I said, "Thanks."**

**"No prob." Luke sat next to me, pushed his back against the wall. "Tough first day?"**

**"I don't belong here," I said. "I don't even believe in gods."**

Dionysus grumbled irritatedly.

**"Yeah," he said. "That's how we all started. Once you start believing in them? It doesn't get**

**any easier."**

**The bitterness in his voice surprised me, because Luke seemed like a pretty easygoing guy.**

**He looked like he could handle just about anything.**

"He sounds nice." Apollo grinned. "Except for the whole 'hating-on-the-gods' thing."

**"So your dad is Hermes?" I asked.**

**He pulled a switchblade out of his back pocket, and for a second I thought he was going to**

**gut me, but he just scraped the mud off the sole of his sandal. "Yeah. Hermes."**

Travis laughed. "I think I'll pull out my switchblade a coupla times just to scare you, Perce."

**"The wing-footed messenger guy."**

**"That's him. Messengers. Medicine. Travelers, merchants, thieves. Anybody who uses the**

**roads. That's why you're here, enjoying cabin eleven's hospitality. Hermes isn't picky about who**

**he sponsors."**

"It's called being nice." Hermes smirked.

"Right." Apollo chuckled.

**I figured Luke didn't mean to call me a nobody. He just had a lot on his mind.**

**"You ever meet your dad?" I asked.**

**"Once."**

Hermes looked vaguely interested.

**I waited, thinking that if he wanted to tell me, he'd tell me. Apparently, he didn't. I wondered**

**if the story had anything to do with how he got his scar.**

Hermes looked wounded. "You think I hurt my son?"

**Luke looked up and managed a smile. "Don't worry about it, Percy. The campers here, they're**

**mostly good people. After all, we're extended family, right? We take care of each other."**

Hera smiled at the magical word, 'family'.

**He seemed to understand how lost I felt, and I was grateful for that, because an older guy like**

**him—even if he was a counselor—should've steered clear of an uncool middle-schooler like me.**

**But Luke had welcomed me into the cabin. He'd even stolen me some toiletries, which was the**

**nicest thing anybody had done for me all day.**

Connor sighed. "Aw, Perce, I know you need a hug."

"Shut up." Percy grinned.

**I decided to ask him my last big question, the one that had been bothering me all afternoon.**

**"Clarisse, from Ares, was joking about me being 'Big Three' material. Then Annabeth ... twice,**

**she said I might be 'the one.' She said I should talk to the Oracle. What was that all about?"**

"You are the One, Percy." Travis repeated.

Annabeth just rolled her eyes.

**Luke folded his knife. "I hate prophecies."**

**"What do you mean?"**

**His face twitched around the scar. "Let's just say I messed things up for everybody else. The**

**last two years, ever since my trip to the Garden of the Hesperides went sour, Chiron hasn't**

**allowed any more quests. Annabeth's been dying to get out into the world. She pestered Chiron so**

**much he finally told her he already knew her fate. He'd had a prophecy from the Oracle. He**

**wouldn't tell her the whole thing, but he said Annabeth wasn't destined to go on a quest yet. She**

**had to wait until... somebody special came to the camp."**

"As in mentally disturbed." Connor winked.

**"Somebody special?"**

"Mentally disturbed." Connor repeated.

**"Don't worry about it, kid," Luke said. "Annabeth wants to think every new camper who**

**comes through here is the omen she's been waiting for. Now, come on, it's dinnertime."**

**The moment he said it, a horn blew in the distance. Somehow, I knew it was a conch shell,**

**even though I'd never heard one before.**

"Percy's smart again." Travis sounded relieved. "Thank the gods."

**Luke yelled, "Eleven, fall in!"**

**The whole cabin, about twenty of us, filed into the commons yard. We lined up in order of**

**seniority, so of course I was dead last. Campers came from the other cabins, too, except for the**

**three empty cabins at the end, and cabin eight, which had looked normal in the daytime, but was**

**now starting to glow silver as the sun went down.**

"That's a lot of undetermined kids." Hermes muttered.

"Unclaimed." Artemis agreed sadly.

**We marched up the hill to the mess hall pavilion. Satyrs joined us from the meadow. Naiads**

**emerged from the canoeing lake. A few other girls came out of the woods— and when I say out**

**of the woods, I mean **_**straight **_**out of the woods. I saw one girl, about nine or ten years old, melt**

**from the side of a maple tree and come skipping up the hill.**

"A dryad?" Annabeth guessed.

"It doesn't matter." Bianca grinned. "Anyways, twenty and counting."

"We really need a satyr." Annabeth grinned back.

Everyone else tried to figure out what they were talking about while Dionysus sipped his twentieth drink, obliviously.

**In all, there were maybe a hundred campers, a few dozen satyrs, and a dozen assorted wood**

**nymphs and naiads.**

**At the pavilion, torches blazed around the marble columns. A central fire burned in a bronze**

**brazier the size of a bathtub. Each cabin had its own table, covered in white cloth trimmed in**

**purple. Four of the tables were empty, but cabin eleven's was way overcrowded. I had to squeeze**

**on to the edge of a bench with half my butt hanging off.**

"Which four tables?" Bianca wondered.

Percythought for a while. "Probably one, two, three and eight." He guessed.

"Ding ding ding!" Connor announced. "We have a winner!"

**I saw Grover sitting at table twelve with Mr. D, a few satyrs, and a couple of plump blond**

**boys who looked just like Mr. D. Chiron stood to one side, the picnic table being way too small**

**for a centaur.**

"Cherubs." Nico smirked. "I hate them."

**Annabeth sat at table six with a bunch of serious-looking athletic kids, all with her gray eyes**

**and honey-blond hair.**

"You know how people say blonds are dumb..." Travis began.

Annabeth pointed a warning finger at him. "Don't even go there."

**Clarisse sat behind me at Ares's table. She'd apparently gotten over being hosed down,**

**because she was laughing and belching right alongside her friends.**

Everyone snorted at this description of the Ares cabin.

**Finally, Chiron pounded his hoof against the marble floor of the pavilion, and everybody fell**

**silent. He raised a glass. "To the gods!"**

**Everybody else raised their glasses. "To the gods!"**

"To the gods!" Travis and Connor mimicked.

**Wood nymphs came forward with platters of food: grapes, apples, strawberries, cheese, fresh**

**bread, and yes, barbecue! My glass was empty, but Luke said, "Speak to it. Whatever you want—**

**non-alcoholic, of course."**

"What a shame." Bianca smirked. "Twenty one."

"And counting." Annabeth added.

"Keep quiet, Annie Bell." Dionysus said irritatedly. "The story is bad enough without you and that Brittany girl."

"Bianca." Bianca corrected.

"What is it that mortals say? Oh, yes. _Whatever._"

**I said, "Cherry Coke."**

**The glass filled with sparkling caramel liquid.**

**Then I had an idea. "**_**Blue **_**Cherry Coke."**

"Blue?" Nico asked incredulously.

"Weren't you listening?" Bianca asked. "Percy's..."

"Both of you, that's enough. Unless you want to walk Cerberus, you'd better keep quiet." Hades snapped.

The two demigods quickly shut up.

**The ****soda turned a violent shade of cobalt.**

**I took a cautious sip. Perfect.**

**I drank a toast to my mother.**

Sally smiled.

**She's not gone, I told myself. Not permanently, anyway. She's in the Underworld. And if**

**that's a real place, then someday...**

Hades grumbled. "I hate heroes."

"I never would have guessed." Artemis said sarcastically.

**"Here you go, Percy," Luke said, handing me a platter of smoked brisket.**

**I loaded my plate and was about to take a big bite when I noticed everybody getting up,**

**carrying their plates toward the fire in the center of the pavilion. I wondered if they were going**

**for dessert or something.**

"Fire for dessert." Travis snorted. "Nice brain you've got."

**"Come on," Luke told me.**

**As I got closer, I saw that everyone was taking a portion of their meal and dropping it into the**

**fire, the ripest strawberry, the juiciest slice of beef, the warmest, most buttery ****roll.**

Connor sighed. "All that food..."

**Luke murmured in my ear, "Burnt offerings for the gods. They like the smell."**

**"You're kidding."**

**His look warned me not to take this lightly, but I couldn't help wondering why an immortal,**

**all-powerful being would like the smell of burning food.**

A few people snorted.

**Luke approached the fire, bowed his head, and tossed in a cluster of fat red grapes. "Hermes."**

**I was next.**

**I wished I knew what god's name to say.**

"I'm sure most of the children don't know." Artemis muttered.

Aphrodite rolled her eyes. "Drama Queen."

"That would be you." Artemis retorted.

**Finally, I made a silent plea. **_**Whoever you are, tell me. Please.**_

**I scraped a big slice of brisket into the flames.**

**When I caught a whiff of the smoke, I didn't gag.**

"Of course not." Hera smiled.

**It smelled nothing like burning food. It smelled of hot chocolate and fresh-baked brownies,**

**hamburgers on the grill and wildflowers, and a hundred other good things that shouldn't have**

**gone well together, but did. I could almost believe the gods could live off that smoke.**

"We could." Apollo said wistfully.

**When everybody had returned to their seats and finished eating their meals, Chiron pounded**

**his hoof again for our attention.**

**Mr. D got up with a huge sigh. "Yes, I suppose I'd better say hello to all you brats. Well,**

**hello. Our activities director, Chiron, says the next capture the flag is Friday. Cabin five presently**

**holds the laurels."**

Connor and Travis booed vigorously.

"What a shame." Annabeth murmured.

**A bunch of ugly cheering rose from the Ares table.**

**"Personally," Mr. D continued, "I couldn't care less, but congratulations. Also, I should tell**

**you that we have a new camper today. Peter Johnson."**

"He still can't get my name right." Percy murmured to Nico.

**Chiron murmured something.**

**"Er, Percy Jackson," Mr. D corrected. "That's right. Hurrah, and all that. Now run along to**

**your silly campfire. Go on."**

"He just did." Nico smirked.

**Everybody cheered. We all headed down toward the amphitheater, where Apollo's cabin led a**

**sing-along. We sang camp songs about the gods and ate s'mores and joked around, and the funny**

**thing was, I didn't feel that anyone was staring at me anymore. I felt that I was home.**

Artemis winced when she heard the words 'Apollo' and 'sing-along'.

**Later in the evening, when the sparks from the campfire were curling into a starry sky, the**

**conch horn blew again, and we all filed back to our cabins. I didn't realize how exhausted I was**

**until I collapsed on my borrowed sleeping bag.**

"Probably stolen." Travis chuckled.

**My fingers curled around the Minotaur's horn. I thought about my mom, but I had good**

**thoughts: her smile, the bedtime stories she would read me when I was a kid, the way she would**

**tell me not to let the bedbugs bite.**

Aphrodite smiled at Sally. Athena just rolled her eyes.

**When I closed my eyes, I fell asleep instantly.**

**That was my first day at Camp Half-Blood.**

**I wish I'd known how briefly I would get to enjoy my new home.**

"Suspense." Apollo grinned. "Nice story you got going there."

"Maybe Mr. D should read!" Connor grinned mischievously.

Dionysus sighed. "Father, let m turn him into a dolphin."

"Or a jackalope." Artemis agreed.

"No animals." Aphrodite smirked.

"Why don't you read?" Athena asked Connor.

His grin widened. "All right! Mrs. Jackson, could you pass the book?"

Connor opened the book, his grin never fading.

xxx

**I have bad news, amigos. Okay, I'm not abandoning this story, so don't be too worried. But I'm going on vacation. For four days :P I won't be updating till August starts, so why don't you read the other two stories by your favorite author (me) and spend the rest of that time in mourning? Lol just kidding, but read my other two stories. Reviews are my food! So when I get back, I hope to see a whole load of reviews! If you're reading it, you can review it :D**

**Adieu, mes amis, till we meet again.**


	9. Yet Another Blonde

**Wooah I know I said 4 days, but this is more than 14! First off, I am SO sorry. I seriously am. We left for Norway just like, a few days after the four day trip. I got back reeeeally early last morning and I had no time to make this my longest chapter so far (which I want to do, let's see if it works out) Anyways, we crossed 50 reviews ages ago :D Drinks all around! Ha ha, thanks for the reviews, all you ah-mazing people ^_^**

**Amian4ever- Wow those are a lot of questions xD My world is weird, so there are also weird characters. And Thalia likes satyrs, because Percy likes satyrs in the original series. Anna doesn't always win, but she'll fry you if you say she's wrong. Haha and they're counting because I'm bored xD**

**The Sea Goddess- I will :D**

**Liza Cobbler- I wish I could have :/ But I was in Norway. Hope you had an awesome birthday though! Consider this a late birthday present :D :D**

**Moonglacier- Thanks a lot ^_^ Speaking of hp, did anyone get into Pottermore? I got in on day three :D**

**FallingStar17- Wait and watch ;)**

**PercyxArtemis- Oh,well I'd like to do the entire series, so I'll save Percy for later on. But I might be dropping someone else in this chapter, and I'll try and make it really good.**

**Itsybitsybookworm- ;) Verrry soon**

**Annabeth124- Thannks :D**

**Percyjackson13georgeweasley27- Haha thank you. I never thought of Nico I might bring him in ^_^**

**PLKBerry- Thanks a lot :D**

**Grace, I will be me, Fallen Eternity, Athena Goddess of the Wise, AlexRider I am a flyer, Leah, pao47- Thanks a lot for the reviews :D The next chapter's up!**

_~A late happy birthday to Liza Cobbler and dedicated to all of you people who wanted a character in~_

_We Capture A Flag_

Connor cleared his throat solemnly.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the next chapter is called 'We Capture A Fl-argh!" Connor backed up in his chair as fast as he could, pushing Nico over in the process.

It would have been hilarious, and everyone would have laughed, if they hadn't been staring at the blonde girl who had materialized in the middle of the room.

Athena, as usual, was the first to understand. "I hate the Oracle. I really do."

The blonde girl stood up shakily and looked at the gods. She turned around and her gaze fell on Percy.

She flung her arms around his neck and sobbed into his shoulder.

"Oh my gods, Percy, I was so scared. Olympus was sealed off and you were…"

She broke off to stare at Thalia. "Thalia, your hair looks different…"

Only then did she notice Annabeth.

Her mouth hung open in comic disbelief and she stared at the silver circlet on Annabeth's head.

"What…"

Athena gestured for the blonde girl, who was obviously Annabeth, to come closer and gave her the note from the Oracle. As Annabeth read it, her eyes grew larger and larger.

"The Oracle? But Rachel…" Then she stopped herself. "What does it mean- positions have been swapped?"

Athena pointed to the pile of books. "Take a look at them."

Annabeth sorted through them. "The Sea of Monsters… Titan's Curse… Battle of the Labyrinth- hey that's… What's going on?"

"This is sort of like an alternate reality." Apollo grinned. "You know, Percy's all smart."

Annabeth raised an eyebrow. "Sorry?"

"The positions have been swapped." Artemis said in her clear voice. "Thalia was the demigod of the prophecy. And Annabeth… um, this Annabeth, is my lieutenant."

Annabeth gaped. "So that makes Percy… a son of Athena?"

Percy nodded.

Annabeth blinked. "So does that make you my boyfriend or my half-brother?" **(A/N: I took bhz's idea, but changed it about a little here :D )**

Thalia coughed into her hand suddenly.

**(a/n: I just remembered there are two Annabeths. So I'll call the PJO Annabeth, PJO Annabeth to avoid confusion, yeah?)**

"Aren't we supposed to be reading?" Bianca asked timidly.

"Bianca!" PJO Annabeth said, surprised. "You're… you're…"

"From these books." Bianca gestured. "The same world you're from. We're on a quest to save you."

"What?" A lot of people asked.

"I won't give away any secrets." Bianca winked.

"So… you're reading these books?" PJO Annabeth asked, glancing at Percy.

"Yeah." He said nervously. "We are."

"And… I come from these books?"

"Um, yes. An alternate version of the prophecy."

Zeus spoke impatiently. "We're wasting time. Sit down and we can read. Connor, move your chair back. Nico, get up."

A chair materialized between Connor and Nico. PJO Annabeth sat down, glancing at the floor. From across the hall, Sally shot her a sympathetic look.

Connor re read the title of the chapter. "We Capture a Flag."

**The next few days I settled into a routine that felt almost normal, if you don't count the fact that I**

**was getting lessons from satyrs, nymphs, and a centaur.**

"What do nymphs teach?" Bianca asked curiously.

"Foot racing." Hermes grinned.

**Each morning I took Ancient Greek from Annabeth, and we talked about the gods and**

**goddesses in the present tense, which was kind of weird. I discovered Annabeth was right about**

**my dyslexia: Ancient Greek wasn't that hard for me to read. At least, no harder than English.**

Athena raised an eyebrow. "You found English hard?"

"Mom." Percy muttered irritatedly.

PJO Annabeth and Bianca smirked, hearing Percy call Athena 'mom'.

**After a couple of mornings, I could stumble through a few lines of Homer without too much**

**headache.**

"What happened to being smart?" Thalia laughed.

**The rest of the day, I'd rotate through outdoor activities, looking for something I was good at.**

"Math." Travis interrupted solemnly.

"I am _trying _to _read_." Connor said haughtily.

"You won't succeed." Travis snorted. "Hey, that rhymes!"

**Chiron tried to teach me archery, but we found out pretty quick I wasn't any good with a bow and**

**arrow. He didn't complain, even when he had to de-snag a stray arrow out of his tail.**

Apollo winced. "Ouch."

**Foot racing? No good either. The wood-nymph instructors left me in the dust. They told me**

**not to worry about it. They'd had centuries of practice running away from lovesick gods. But still,**

**it was a little humiliating to be slower than a tree.**

Everyone laughed.

**And wrestling? Forget it. Every time I got on the mat, Clarisse would pulverize me.**

Ares grinned menacingly.

**"There's more where that came from, punk," she'd mumble in my ear.**

**The only thing I really excelled at was canoeing, and that wasn't the kind of heroic skill**

**people expected to see from the kid who had beaten the Minotaur.**

"That isn't even a heroic skill." Ares grumbled.

"He's a son of Poseidon." Aphrodite grinned. "One of the 'Big Three'."

"So he can turn people into fish. Big deal."

"Would it be cannibalism if I ate fish?" Thalia wondered.

"If you were a fish, it would." Annabeth said.

"I am _related _to fish." Thalia pointed out.

"Poseidon isn't the god of fish." PJO Annabeth pointed out, speaking up for the first time.

"No, but he is part fish, right? No offense, dad."

Hades sighed. "Everybody, keep quiet. Let the annoying little demigod read."

Connor didn't look too happy at being called an 'annoying little demi-god', but he wasn't about to argue.

**I knew the senior campers and counselors were watching me, trying to decide who my dad**

**was, but they weren't having an easy time of it. I wasn't as strong as the Ares kids, or as good at**

**archery as the Apollo kids. I didn't have Hephaestus's skill with metalwork or—gods forbid—**

**Dionysus's way with vine plants. Luke told me I might be a child of Hermes, a kind of jack-ofall-**

**trades, master of none. **

"Does that mean I'm not good at anything?" Hermes quirked a smile.

"Hey, dad, look at us. Aren't we awesome? Aren't we awesome like you?" Connor joked.

Hermes sighed. "Hold your tongue."

**But I got the feeling he was just trying to make me feel better. He really didn't know what to make of me either.**

Thalia sighed. "Poor undetermined kids." She said pointedly.

Hera pointed a warning finger at Thalia. "Be careful what you say, Thalia Grace. It isn't our fault..."

"Your kids are _still _undetermined?" PJO Annabeth asked incredulously. "Didn't you grant Thalia a boon?"

"No." Thalia said bitterly. "Most of the gods in here hate my guts. I was lucky enough that they let me live."

"So... in your world, there are no undetermined kids?" Percy asked.

"No." PJO Annabeth said. "Percy... the other Percy was chosen to become a god, but he turned it down and..."

"Why?" Percy interrupted. "Why did I... he turn it down?"

Annabeth blushed. "I... I haven't asked him."

She hurried on. "Anyway, he instead chose to ask the gods to claim all of their children by the time they reached thirteen years of age. So... there aren't any undetermined kids now."

A silence followed this and Connor took advantage of it to continue reading.

**Despite all that, I liked camp. I got used to the morning fog over the beach, the smell of hot**

**strawberry fields in the afternoon, even the weird noises of monsters in the woods at night. I**

**would eat dinner with cabin eleven, scrape part of my meal into the fire, and try to feel some**

**connection to my real dad. Nothing came. Just that warm feeling I'd always had, like the memory**

**of his smile. I tried not to think too much about my mom, but I kept wondering: if gods and**

**monsters were real, if all this magical stuff was possible, surely there was some way to save her,**

**to bring her back...**

Hades sighed. "How I hate heroes. They think they can just waltz into the Underworld on an 'important' quest and..."

"Yes, we know." Apollo interrupted. "Carry on, then."

**I started to understand Luke's bitterness and how he seemed to resent his father, Hermes. So**

**okay, maybe gods had important things to do. But couldn't they call once in a while, or thunder,**

**or something? Dionysus could make Diet Coke appear out of thin air. Why couldn't my dad, whoever he was, make a phone appear?**

"Can gods use phones?" Thalia wondered. "I mean, do they?"

"I do!" Apollo and Hermes said simultaneously.

**Thursday afternoon, three days after I'd arrived at Camp Half-Blood, I had my first sword fighting**

**lesson. Everybody from cabin eleven gathered in the big circular arena, where Luke**

**would be our instructor.**

"Excellent." Ares grinned. "Let's all read about the punk getting pulverised."

**We started with basic stabbing and slashing, using some straw-stuffed dummies in Greek**

**armor. I guess I did okay. At least, I understood what I was supposed to do and my reflexes were**

**good.**

Ares looked disappointed. "Get to the pulverising already."

"This is a story." Athena said irritatedly. "Not one of your gladiator fights."

"Gladiator fighting is an excellent example of human civilisation." Dionysus objected.

**The problem was, I couldn't find a blade that felt right in my hands. Either they were too**

**heavy, or too light, or too long. Luke tried his best to fix me up, but he agreed that none of the**

**practice blades seemed to work for me.**

Ares smirked. "I wouldn't expect a ..."

"Ares." Athena snapped. "Shut up."

**We moved on to dueling in pairs. Luke announced he would be my partner, since this was my**

**first time.**

**"Good luck," one of the campers told me. "Luke's the best swordsman in the last three**

**hundred years."**

Thalia whistled appreciatively. "Seriously?"

**"Maybe he'll go easy on me," I said.**

"Right." Thalia smirked.

**The camper snorted.**

**Luke showed me thrusts and parries and shield blocks the hard way. With every swipe, I got a**

**little more battered and bruised. "Keep your guard up, Percy," he'd say, then whap me in the ribs**

**with the flat of his blade. "No, not that far up!" **_**Whap! **_**"Lunge!" **_**Whap! **_**"Now, back!" **_**Whap!**_

A lot of people stifled smiles.

**By the time he called a break, I was soaked in sweat. Everybody swarmed the drinks cooler.**

**Luke poured ice water on his head, which looked like such a good idea, I did the same.**

**Instantly, I felt better. Strength surged back into my arms. The sword didn't feel so awkward.**

"Yeah," Annabeth laughed. "Percy's part fish."

Immediately Travis pretended to check Percy for gills, but Percy swatted him away.

**"Okay, everybody circle up!" Luke ordered. "If Percy doesn't mind, I want to give you a little**

**demo."**

**Great, I thought. Let's all watch Percy get pounded.**

"Yes, let's." PJO Annabeth grinned, enjoying re-reading all of it.

**The Hermes guys gathered around. They were suppressing smiles. I figured they'd been in my**

**shoes before and couldn't wait to see how Luke used me for a punching bag. **

"Neither can we." Nico laughed.

**He told everybody he was going to demonstrate a disarming technique: how to twist the enemy's blade with the flat of your own sword so that he had no choice but to drop his weapon.**

Ares nodded approvingly. "Smart technique, that. I invented it."

"Show off." Apollo muttered.

**"This is difficult," he stressed. "I've had it used against me. No laughing at Percy, now. Most**

**swordsmen have to work years to master this technique."**

"Or longer." Thalia said wisely.

"Longer than years?" Percy snorted. "What, centuries?"

**He demonstrated the move on me in slow motion. Sure enough, the sword clattered out of my**

**hand.**

**"Now in real time," he said, after I'd retrieved my weapon. "We keep sparring until one of us**

**pulls it off. Ready, Percy?"**

Travis mimed holding an imaginary sword.

**I nodded, and Luke came after me. Somehow, I kept him from getting a shot at the hilt of my**

**sword. My senses opened up. I saw his attacks coming. I countered. I stepped forward and tried a**

**thrust of my own. Luke deflected it easily, but I saw a change in his face. His eyes narrowed, and**

**he started to press me with more force.**

PJO Annabeth listened curiously. Would Percy get beaten by Luke? Probably.

**The sword grew heavy in my hand. The balance wasn't right. I knew it was only a matter of**

**seconds before Luke took me down, so I figured, What the heck?**

Connor paused to tut disapprovingly. "Mind your language, Perce."

**I tried the disarming maneuver.**

**My blade hit the base of Luke's and I twisted, putting my whole weight into a downward**

**thrust.**

_**Clang.**_

**Luke's sword rattled against the stones. The tip of my blade was an inch from his undefended**

**chest.**

"Wow." Nico whistled. "That's neat."

**The other campers were silent.**

**I lowered my sword. "Um, sorry."**

"Sorry?" Annabeth asked incredulously. "You _apologised_?"

"Seaweed Brain." PJO Annabeth smirked.

"Tell me about it." Annabeth nodded.

**For a moment, Luke was too stunned to speak.**

**"Sorry?" His scarred face broke into a grin. "By the gods, Percy, why are you sorry? Show**

**me that again!"**

**I didn't want to. The short burst of manic energy had completely abandoned me. But Luke**

**insisted.**

"Go Percy!" Thalia cheered.

**This time, there was no contest. The moment our swords connected, Luke hit my hilt and sent**

**my weapon skidding across the floor.**

Ares grinned. "Finally."

**After a long pause, somebody in the audience said, "Beginner's luck?"**

**Luke wiped the sweat off his brow. He appraised at me with an entirely new interest.**

**"Maybe," he said. "But I wonder what Percy could do with a balanced sword..."**

"Let's not even go there." Travis snorted.

**Friday afternoon, I was sitting with Grover at the lake, resting from a near-death experience on**

**the climbing wall. Grover had scampered to the top like a mountain goat, but the lava had almost**

**gotten me. My shirt had smoking holes in it. The hairs had been singed off my forearms.**

"I hate the climbing wall." Percy muttered. "I really hate it."

**We sat on the pier, watching the naiads do underwater basket-weaving, until I got up the**

**nerve to ask Grover how his conversation had gone with Mr. D.**

"Underwater basket weaving?" Annabeth asked. "Does that even exist?"

**His face turned a sickly shade of yellow.**

**"Fine," he said. "Just great."**

**"So your career's still on track?"**

**He glanced at me nervously. "Chiron t-told you I want a searcher's license?"**

Thalia whistled. "Big dreams. Don't searchers usually go missing?"

"And never come back." PJO Annabeth agreed.

**"Well... no." I had no idea what a searcher's license was, but it didn't seem like the right time**

**to ask. "He just said you had big plans, you know ... and that you needed credit for completing a**

**keeper's assignment. So did you get it?"**

"I hope so." Percy said. "Is Mr. D always this hard on all satyrs?"

Dionysus rolled his eyes.

**Grover looked down at the naiads. "Mr. D suspended judgment. He said I hadn't failed or**

**succeeded with you yet, so our fates were still tied together. If you got a quest and I went along to**

**protect you, and we both came back alive, then maybe he'd consider the job complete."**

"What are the chances of Percy getting a quest?" Annabeth laughed.

**My spirits lifted. "Well, that's not so bad, right?"**

_**"Blaa-ha-ha! **_**He might as well have transferred me to stable-cleaning duty. The chances of**

**you getting a quest... and even if you did, why would you want **_**me **_**along?"**

"I don't like stable cleaning." Nico said dejectedly. "Horses hate me."

**"Of course I'd want you along!"**

**Grover stared glumly into the water. "Basket-weaving ... Must be nice to have a useful skill."**

**I tried to reassure him that he had lots of talents, but that just made him look more miserable.**

**We talked about canoeing and swordplay for a while, then debated the pros and cons of the**

**different gods.**

"I hope I scored the highest." Apollo winked.

Hades sighed. "Does it matter?"

**Finally, I asked him about the four empty cabins.**

**"Number eight, the silver one, belongs to Artemis," he said. "She vowed to be a maiden**

**forever. So of course, no kids. The cabin is, you know, honorary. If she didn't have one, she'd be**

**mad."**

"Really mad." Apollo whispered.

Artemis smiled tolerantly.

**"Yeah, okay. But the other three, the ones at the end. Are those the Big Three?"**

Hades snorted. "As _if_."

**Grover tensed. We were getting close to a touchy subject. "No. One of them, number two, is**

**Hera's," he said. "That's another honorary thing. She's the goddess of marriage, so of course she**

**wouldn't go around having affairs with mortals. That's her husband's job. When we say the Big**

**Three, we mean the three powerful brothers, the sons of Kronos."**

"Yes." Hera agreed. "That is Zeus's job."

Zeus looked uncomfortable.

**"Zeus, Poseidon, Hades."**

"You shouldn't throw about names so much." Athena shook her head.

Aphrodite said exasperatedly. "That must be the tenth time you've said that. It's really annoying."

Athena scowled.

**"Right. You know. After the great battle with the Titans, they took over the world from their**

**dad and drew lots to decide who got what."**

**"Zeus got the sky," I remembered. "Poseidon the sea, Hades the Underworld."**

**"Uh-huh."**

**"But Hades doesn't have a cabin here."**

"No, he doesn't." Hades grumbled.

"With good reason." Demeter snorted.

"Silence, annoying sister!" Hades snapped.

**"No. He doesn't have a throne on Olympus, either. He sort of does his own thing down in the**

**Underworld. If he did have a cabin here ..." Grover shuddered. "Well, it wouldn't be pleasant.**

**Let's leave it at that."**

"He is never pleasant." Demeter said. "No appreciation for..."

"...agriculture whatsoever." Apollo finished, winking.

Hades smirked.

**"But Zeus and Poseidon—they both had, like, a bazillion kids in the myths. Why are their**

**cabins empty?"**

"Yes, they did." Athena snorted at Poseidon.

"I can empathise with Amphitrite." Hera said sourly.

Dionysus sighed again. "Oh, leave him alone."

**Grover shifted his hooves uncomfortably. "About sixty years ago, after World War II, the Big**

**Three agreed they wouldn't sire any more heroes. Their children were just too powerful. They**

**were affecting the course of human events too much, causing too much carnage. World War II,**

**you know, that was basically a fight between the sons of Zeus and Poseidon on one side, and the**

**sons of Hades on the other. The winning side, Zeus and Poseidon, made Hades swear an oath**

**with them: no more affairs with mortal women. They all swore on the River Styx."**

"And then they broke it." Artemis said.

"All except me." Hades said proudly.

Zeus and Poseidon rolled their eyes simultaneously, as though they'd heard this before.

**Thunder boomed.**

**I said, "That's the most serious oath you can make."**

**Grover nodded.**

**"And the brothers kept their word—no kids?"**

Athena snorted again.

Aphrodite grinned mischievously. "You can't stop love."

**Grover's face darkened. "Seventeen years ago, Zeus fell off the wagon. There was this TV**

**starlet with a big fluffy eighties hairdo—he just couldn't help himself. When their child was born,**

**a little girl named Thalia .. . well, the River Styx is serious about promises. Zeus himself got off**

**easy because he's immortal, but he brought a terrible fate on his daughter."**

Annabeth bit her lip and Thalia looked a little Annabeth glanced at Thalia and Annabeth.

**"But that isn't fair. It wasn't the little girl's fault."**

"Exactly." Annabeth and PJO Annabeth said simultaneously. Then they blushed.

**Grover hesitated. "Percy, children of the Big Three have powers greater than other halfbloods.**

**They have a strong aura, a scent that attracts monsters. When Hades found out about the**

**girl, he wasn't too happy about Zeus breaking his oath. Hades let the worst monsters out of**

**Tartarus to torment Thalia. A satyr was assigned to be her keeper when she was twelve, but there**

**was nothing he could do. He tried to escort her here with a couple of other half-bloods she'd**

**befriended. They almost made it. They got all the way to the top of that hill."**

Artemis glared at Hades. "I thought you said..."

"That happened years ago." He said hurriedly. "Annabeth and I... are, um, friends."

Annabeth's eyes widened sceptically and Hades looked like he didn't believe what he was saying himself.

**He pointed across the valley, to the pine tree where I'd fought the minotaur. "All three Kindly**

**Ones were after them, along with a horde of hellhounds. They were about to be overrun when**

**Thalia told her satyr to take the other two half-bloods to safety while she held off the monsters.**

**She was wounded and tired, and she didn't want to live like a hunted animal. The satyr didn't**

**want to leave her, but he couldn't change her mind, and he had to protect the others. So Thalia**

**made her final stand alone, at the top of that hill. As she died, Zeus took pity on her. He turned**

**her into that pine tree. Her spirit still helps protect the borders of the valley. That's why the hill is**

**called Half-Blood Hill."**

"That is a sad story." Thalia said pointedly.

"I wonder what your dad would have turned you into." Travis tried to ease the tension.

"Plankton, maybe." Connor smirked.

"As in SpongeBob?" Thalia asked, laughing.

**I stared at the pine in the distance.**

**The story made me feel hollow, and guilty too. A girl my age had sacrificed herself to save**

**her friends. She had faced a whole army of monsters. Next to that, my victory over the Minotaur**

**didn't seem like much. I wondered, if I'd acted differently, could I have saved my mother?**

"Probably not." Apollo glared at Hades. "The Lord of the Dead loves to..."

Thunder crackled.

"Enough interruptions." Zeus boomed.

**"Grover," I said, "have heroes really gone on quests to the Underworld?"**

**"Sometimes," he said. "Orpheus. Hercules. Houdini."**

**"And have they ever returned somebody from the dead?"**

"That goes against the Ancient Laws." Athena said automatically.

**"No. Never. Orpheus came close... Percy, you're not seriously thinking—"**

**"No," I lied. "I was just wondering. So ... a satyr is always assigned to guard a demigod?"**

"What do demigods who aren't assigned satyrs do?" Bianca wondered.

"Die." Artemis said sadly. "I take much better care of my Hunters."

"We've all heard that story before." Aphrodite rolled her eyes.

**Grover studied me warily. I hadn't persuaded him that I'd really dropped the Underworld idea.**

**"Not always. We go undercover to a lot of schools. We try to sniff out the half-bloods who have**

**the makings of great heroes. If we find one with a very strong aura, like a child of the Big Three,**

**we alert Chiron. He tries to keep an eye on them, since they could cause really huge problems."**

"What do demigods smell like to satyrs?" Thalia wondered. "Sorry, just thinking out loud."

**"And you found me. Chiron said you thought I might be something special."**

"Real special." Travis smirked.

**Grover looked as if I'd just led him into a trap. "I didn't... Oh, listen, don't think like that. If**

**you **_**were**_**—you know—you'd never **_**ever **_**be allowed a quest, and I'd never get my license. You're**

**probably a child of Hermes. Or maybe even one of the minor gods, like Nemesis, the god of**

**revenge. Don't worry, okay?"**

"That's reassuring." Annabeth muttered. "Your mom might be the goddess of revenge!"

"What do you have against the minor gods?" Thalia enquired.

**I got the idea he was reassuring himself more than me.**

"It was supposed to be reassuring." Annabeth snorted.

**That night after dinner, there was a lot more excitement than usual.**

**At last, it was time for capture the flag.**

PJO Annabeth grinned in anticipation. She knew what was coming.

**When the plates were cleared away, the conch horn sounded and we all stood at our tables.**

**Campers yelled and cheered as Annabeth and two of her siblings ran into the pavilion**

**carrying a silk banner. It was about ten feet long, glistening gray, with a painting of a barn owl**

**above an olive tree. From the opposite side of the pavilion, Clarisse and her buddies ran in with**

**another banner, of identical size, but gaudy red, painted with a bloody spear and a boar's head.**

"Boo." Thalia muttered. Ares glared at her.

**I turned to Luke and yelled over the noise, "Those are the flags?"**

**"Yeah."**

**"Ares and Athena always lead the teams?"**

"A lot." Annabeth grinned.

**"Not always," he said. "But often."**

**"So, if another cabin captures one, what do you do— repaint the flag?"**

PJO Annabeth snorted.

**He grinned. "You'll see. First we have to get one."**

**"Whose side are we on?"**

**He gave me a sly look, as if he knew something I didn't. The scar on his face made him look**

**almost evil in the torchlight. "We've made a temporary alliance with Athena. Tonight, we get the**

**flag from Ares. And **_**you **_**are going to ****help."**

"Go Percy." Nico smirked. "You got this."

**The teams were announced. Athena had made an alliance with Apollo and Hermes, the two**

**biggest cabins. Apparently, privileges had been traded—shower times, chore schedules, the best**

**slots for activities—in order to win support.**

**Ares had allied themselves with everybody else: Dionysus, Demeter, Aphrodite, and**

**Hephaestus. From what I'd seen, Dionysus's kids were actually good athletes, but there were only**

**two of them. Demeter's kids had the edge with nature skills and outdoor stuff but they weren't**

**very aggressive. Aphrodite's sons and daughters I wasn't too worried about. They mostly sat out**

**every activity and checked their reflections in the lake and did their hair and gossiped.**

Artemis smirked. "How true."

Aphrodite gave a tinkling laugh. "Oh, we all know about _your_ Hunters, Arty."

"Don't call me Arty." She snapped.

**Hephaestus's kids weren't pretty, and there were only four of them, but they were big and burly**

**from working in the metal shop all day. They might be a problem. That, of course, left Ares's**

**cabin: a dozen of the biggest, ugliest, meanest kids on Long Island, or anywhere else on the**

**planet.**

Even the gods couldn't suppress their laughs.

**Chiron hammered his hoof on the marble.**

**"Heroes!" he announced. "You know the rules. The creek is the boundary line. The entire**

**forest is fair game. All magic items are allowed. The banner must be prominently displayed, and**

**have no more than two guards. Prisoners may be disarmed, but may not be bound or gagged. No**

**killing or maiming is allowed. I will serve as referee and battlefield medic. Arm yourselves!"**

"I still can't believe we use real weapons." Bianca shook her head.

**He spread his hands, and the tables were suddenly covered with equipment: helmets, bronze**

**swords, spears, oxhide shields coated in metal.**

**"Whoa," I said. "We're really supposed to use these?"**

"What she said." Annabeth laughed at Bianca.

**Luke looked at me as if I were crazy. "Unless you want to get skewered by your friends in**

**cabin five. Here—Chiron thought these would fit. You'll be on border patrol."**

"Nice friends." Nico smirked.

**My shield was the size of an NBA backboard, with a big caduceus in the middle. It weighed**

**about a million pounds. I could have snowboarded on it fine, but I hoped nobody seriously**

**expected me to run fast. My helmet, like all the helmets on Athena's side, had a blue horsehair**

**plume on top. Ares and their allies had red plumes.**

"Go Hermes!" Travis cheered.

**Annabeth yelled, "Blue team, forward!"**

**We cheered and shook our swords and followed her down the path to the south woods. The**

**red team yelled taunts at us as they headed off toward the north.**

"I hate cabin five." Percy muttered to Thalia.

She nodded. "I hear you."

**I managed to catch up with Annabeth without tripping over my equipment. "Hey."**

**She kept marching.**

PJO Annabeth grinned.

**"So what's the plan?" I asked. "Got any magic items you can loan me?"**

**Her hand drifted toward her pocket, as if she were afraid I'd stolen something.**

**"Just watch Clarisse's spear," she said. "You don't want that thing touching you. Otherwise,**

**don't worry. We'll take the banner from Ares. Has Luke given you your job?"**

"Why?" Thalia asked.

"Why what?" PJO Annabeth asked, puzzled.

"Why not touch Clarisse's spear?"

"It's electric. She calls it Maimer."

"More like Lamer." Connor snorted.

**"Border patrol, whatever that means."**

**"It's easy. Stand by the creek, keep the reds away. Leave the rest to me. Athena always has a**

**plan."**

Percy laughed suddenly. "You set me up!"

PJO Annabeth grinned. "Exactly."

"Wait, what?" Thalia asked.

Percy smiled. "I'm sure you'll find out soon enough."

**She pushed ahead, leaving me in the dust.**

**"Okay," I mumbled. "Glad you wanted me on your team."**

"We won." PJO Annabeth confided.

"I figured." Athena smiled at her.

**It was a warm, sticky night. The woods were dark, with fireflies popping in and out of view**_**.**_

**Annabeth stationed me next to a little creek that gurgled over some rocks, then she and the rest of the team scattered into the trees.**

"Go Annabeth!" Thalia cheered.

"Thanks." PJO Annabeth and Annabeth said at the same time.

**Standing there alone, with my big blue-feathered helmet and my huge shield, I felt like an**

**idiot. The bronze sword, like all the swords I'd tried so far, seemed balanced wrong. The leather**

**grip pulled on my hand like a bowling ball.**

Ares snorted. "The punk's going to get himself pulverised."

**There was no way anybody would actually attack me, would they? I mean, Olympus had to**

**have liability issues, right?**

**Far away, the conch horn blew. I heard whoops and yells in the woods, the clanking of metal,**

**kids fighting. A blue-plumed ally from Apollo raced past me like a deer, leaped through the**

**creek, and disappeared into enemy territory.**

**Great, I thought. I'll miss all the fun, as usual.**

"I thought you were scared." Ares taunted.

"Oh, be quiet." Athena said impatiently.

**Then I heard a sound that sent a chill up my spine, a low canine growl, somewhere close by.**

**I raised my shield instinctively; I had the feeling something was stalking me.**

"Annabeth the stalker." Connor grinned wickedly. "Um, just kidding."

**Then the growling stopped. I felt the presence retreating.**

**On the other side of the creek, the underbrush exploded. Five Ares warriors came yelling and**

**screaming out of the dark.**

**"Cream the punk!" Clarisse screamed.**

"Yeah," Thalia snorted. "Cream him."

"I think punk's the only insult she knows." PJO Annabeth grinned.

Connor whispered to her. "Like father, like daughter."

**Her ugly pig eyes glared through the slits of her helmet. She brandished a five-foot-long**

**spear, its barbed metal tip flickering with red light. Her siblings had only the standard-issue**

**bronze swords—not that that made me feel any better.**

"She sounds like Nancy Bobofit." Annabeth laughed.

"Nancy who?" PJO Annabeth asked, puzzled.

"Never mind." Percy said.

**They charged across the stream. There was no help in sight. I could run. Or I could defend**

**myself against half the Ares cabin.**

**I managed to sidestep the first kid's swing, but these guys were not as stupid the Minotaur.**

"You never know." Annabeth muttered to Bianca.

**They surrounded me, and Clarisse thrust at me with her spear. My shield deflected the point, but I**

**felt a painful tingling all over my body. My hair stood on end. My shield arm went numb, and the**

**air burned.**

"I told you it was electric." PJO Annabeth winced.

"Um, you didn't." Percy pointed out.

"Fair point."

**Electricity. Her stupid spear was electric. I fell back.**

**Another Ares guy slammed me in the chest with the butt of his sword and I hit the dirt.**

**They could've kicked me into jelly, but they were too busy laughing.**

"Jerks." Bianca muttered.

**"Give him a haircut," Clarisse said. "Grab his hair."**

Ares grinned.

**I managed to get to my feet. I raised my sword, but Clarisse slammed it aside with her spear**

**as sparks flew. Now both my arms felt numb.**

"Ouch." PJO Annabeth winced. "Sorry?"

**"Oh, wow," Clarisse said. "I'm scared of this guy. Really scared."**

**"The flag is that way," I told her. I wanted to sound angry, but I was afraid it didn't come out**

**that way.**

"Loser." Ares sneered.

"Oh, Styx, Ares." Artemis was annoyed. "Shut up already."

**"Yeah," one of her siblings said. "But see, we don't care about the flag. We care about a guy**

**who made our cabin look stupid."**

**"You do that without my help," I told them. It probably wasn't the smartest thing to say.**

"But the truest." Thalia whispered.

"If that word even exists." Percy replied.

Thalia rolled her eyes.

**Two of them came at me. I backed up toward the creek, tried to raise my shield, but Clarisse**

**was too fast. Her spear stuck me straight in the ribs. If I hadn't been wearing an armored**

**breastplate, I would've been shish-ke-babbed. As it was, the electric point just about shocked my**

**teeth out of my mouth. One of her cabinmates slashed his sword across my arm, leaving a goodsize cut. Seeing my own blood made me dizzy—warm and cold at the same time.**

"That's against the rules." Artemis was shocked.

"Did you think everyone follows the rules at camp?" Athena demanded. "Just look at Ares's spawn."

"My kids aren't spawn!" Ares protested.

**"No maiming," I managed to say.**

"Exactly." Thalia fumed.

**"Oops," the guy said. "Guess I lost my dessert privilege."**

"Is _that_ the punishment?" Artemis asked incredulously. "Losing dessert privilege?"

"Hey, Mr. D sets the rules." Apollo shrugged. "Calm down, sis."

"Don't call me sis." She said, settling back.

**He pushed me into the creek and I landed with a splash. They all laughed. I figured as soon as**

**they were through being amused, I would die. But then something happened. The water seemed**

**to wake up my senses, as if I'd just had a bag of my mom's double-espresso jelly beans.**

"Double espresso flavoured jelly beans?" Travis was awed. "Awesome!"

**Clarisse and her cabinmates came into the creek to get me, but I stood to meet them. I knew**

**what to do. I swung the flat of my sword against the first guy's head and knocked his helmet clean**

**off. I hit him so hard I could see his eyes vibrating as he crumpled into the water.**

That wiped the smug grin clean off Ares's face.

**Ugly Number Two and Ugly Number Three came at me. I slammed one in the face with my**

**shield and used my sword to shear off the other guy's horsehair plume. Both of them backed up**

**quick. Ugly Number Four didn't look really anxious to attack, but Clarisse kept coming, the point**

**of her spear crackling with energy. As soon as she thrust, I caught the shaft between the edge of**

**my shield and my sword, and I snapped it like a twig.**

Thalia couldn't help cheering. Even Nico cracked a smile.

Travis pretended to sob. "Good... good bye, Lamer."

**"Ah!" she screamed. "You idiot! You corpse-breath worm!"**

"So she does know other insults." Annabeth smirked.

**She probably would've said worse, but I smacked her between the eyes with my sword-butt**

**and sent her stumbling backward out of the creek.**

Ares didn't look happy. Athena was smirking at him.

**Then I heard yelling, elated screams, and I saw Luke racing toward the boundary line with**

**the red team's banner lifted high. He was flanked by a couple of Hermes guys covering his retreat,**

**and a few Apollos behind them, fighting off the Hephaestus kids. **

"I knew Athena'd win." Bianca grinned at Annabeth.

**The Ares folks got up, and**

**Clarisse muttered a dazed curse.**

**"A trick!" she shouted. "It was a trick."**

"Oh, good going, punk." Thalia murmured.

**They staggered after Luke, but it was too late. Everybody converged on the creek as Luke ran**

**across into friendly territory. Our side exploded into cheers. The red banner shimmered and**

**turned to silver. The boar and spear were replaced with a huge caduceus, the symbol of cabin**

**eleven. Everybody on the blue team picked up Luke and started carrying him around on their**

**shoulders. Chiron cantered out from the woods and blew the conch horn.**

"We won." Percy grinned.

PJO Annabeth was grinning, remembering their victory.

**The game was over. We'd won.**

**I was about to join the celebration when Annabeth's voice, right next to me in the creek, said,**

**"Not bad, hero."**

**I looked, but she wasn't there.**

"Percy's hallucinating." Travis sounded shocked. "We need to see a shrink."

**"Where the heck did you learn to fight like that?" she asked. The air shimmered, and she**

**materialized, holding a Yankees baseball cap as if she'd just taken it off her head.**

"It's like that girl in Incredibles who can turn invisible. Whats-her-face, Violet." Connor pointed out.

"Violet doesn't use a cap to do it." PJO Annabeth pointed out.

**I felt myself getting angry. I wasn't even fazed by the fact that she'd just been invisible. "You**

**set me up," I said. "You put me here because you knew Clarisse would come after me, while you**

**sent Luke around the flank. You had it all figured out."**

"Of course I... she did." Annabeth laughed.

PJO Annabeth smiled, gratified.

**Annabeth shrugged. "I told you. Athena always, always has a plan."**

**"A plan to get me pulverized."**

"Pretty much." Thalia grinned.

"Real friendly." Percy snorted.

**"I came as fast as I could. I was about to jump in, but ..." She shrugged. "You didn't need**

**help."**

**Then she noticed my wounded arm. "How did you do that?"**

**"Sword cut," I said. "What do you think?"**

"Percy's emo. He cuts himself." Travis said solemnly.

**"No. It **_**was **_**a sword cut. Look at it."**

**The blood was gone. Where the huge cut had been, there was a long white scratch, and even**

**that was fading. As I watched, it turned into a small scar, and disappeared.**

"It evaporated." Thalia stifled a giggle.

**"I—I don't get it," I said.**

**Annabeth was thinking hard. I could almost see the gears turning. She looked down at my**

**feet, then at Clarisse's broken spear, and said, "Step out of the water, Percy."**

**"What—"**

**"Just do it."**

"Isn't that the Reebok saying?" Nico asked. "Just do it?"

"I think it's Puma." Annabeth said.

"Idiots." Percy rolled his eyes. "It's Nike." **(a/n: I actually had this conversation with my friends xD xD )**

**I came out of the creek and immediately felt bone tired. My arms started to go numb again.**

**My adrenaline rush left me. I almost fell over, but Annabeth steadied me.**

**"Oh, Styx," she cursed. "This is **_**not **_**good. I didn't want ... I assumed it would be Zeus... ."**

"Imagine Percy as a son of Zeus." Annabeth snorted.

PJO Annabeth nodded in agreement. "You're right. I don't know why I assumed that."

**Before I could ask what she meant, I heard that canine growl again, but much closer than**

**before. A howl ripped through the forest.**

"A hellhound." Nico said, his eyes widening. "Percy, you have really bad luck."

**The campers' cheering died instantly. Chiron shouted something in Ancient Greek, which I**

**would realize, only later, I had understood perfectly: **_**"Stand ready! My bow!"**_

**Annabeth drew her sword.**

**There on the rocks just above us was a black hound the size of a rhino, with lava-red eyes and**

**fangs like daggers.**

"Ugh." Bianca winced. "I hate hellhounds."

**It was looking straight at me.**

Nico winced too. "Like I said."

**Nobody moved except Annabeth, who yelled, "Percy, run!"**

"That was really brave." Thalia grinned at her."

**She tried to step in front of me, but the hound was too fast. It leaped over her—an enormous**

**shadow with teeth—and just as it hit me, as I stumbled backward and felt its razor-sharp claws**

**ripping through my armor, there was a cascade of thwacking sounds, like forty pieces of paper**

**being ripped one after the other. From the hounds neck sprouted a cluster of arrows. The monster**

**fell dead at my feet.**

"Oh my gods Percy you could have died." Annabeth was shocked.

Artemis glared at Hades. "You are intolerable."

Hades sighed, and didn't waste time explaining that he hadn't done it.

**By some miracle, I was still alive. I didn't want to look underneath the ruins of my shredded**

**armor. My chest felt warm and wet, and I knew I was badly cut. Another second, and the monster**

**would've turned me into a hundred pounds of delicatessen meat.**

"You're probably half dead as it is, anyway." Bianca said.

**Chiron trotted up next to us, a bow in his hand, his face grim.**

_**"Di immortales!" **_**Annabeth said. "That's a hellhound from the Fields of Punishment. They**

**don't ... they're not supposed to ..."**

"Exactly." Artemis said.

Hera sighed. "Can everyone _please_ calm down? This bickering is really annoying."

**"Someone summoned it," Chiron said. "Someone inside the camp."**

"Clarisse, maybe." Thalia snorted.

**Luke came over, the banner in his hand forgotten, his moment of glory gone.**

**Clarisse yelled, "It's all Percy's fault! Percy summoned it!"**

**"Be quiet, child," Chiron told her.**

"That's a nice way of saying shut up." PJO Annabeth smirked.

**We watched the body of the hellhound melt into shadow, soaking into the ground until it**

**disappeared.**

**"You're wounded," Annabeth told me. "Quick, Percy, get in the water."**

**"I'm okay."**

Bianca snorted. "Talk about an understatement."

**"No, you're not," she said. "Chiron, watch this."**

**I was too tired to argue. I stepped back into the creek, the whole camp gathering around me.**

**Instantly, I felt better. I could feel the cuts on my chest closing up. Some of the campers**

**gasped.**

**"Look, I—I don't know why," I said, trying to apologize. "I'm sorry..."**

"That's our Percy. Always apologising." Travis grinned.

"Silly boy." Thalia shook her head.

**But they weren't watching my wounds heal. They were staring at something above my head.**

**"Percy," Annabeth said, pointing. "Um ..."**

**By the time I looked up, the sign was already fading, but I could still make out the hologram**

**of green light, spinning and gleaming. A three-tipped spear: a trident.**

"Finally claimed." Annabeth said, relieved. "It was kind of weird, thinking of you as a sort of son of Hermes."

"I agree." Hermes grinned, to which everyone laughed.

**"Your father," Annabeth murmured. "This is **_**really **_**not good."**

**"It is determined," Chiron announced.**

"Lucky boy." Artemis said. "Most campers don't get claimed."

**All around me, campers started kneeling, even the Ares cabin, though they didn't look happy**

**about it.**

"You bet they didn't." PJO Annabeth muttered.

**"My father?" I asked, completely bewildered.**

**"Poseidon," said Chiron. "Earthshaker, Stormbringer, Father of Horses. Hail, Perseus**

**Jackson, Son of the Sea ****God."**

"Hail." Travis solemnly knelt down before Percy.

Zeus exploded. "Get back in your chair before I incinerate you!"

Hera shot a look at Zeus. "Maybe you should read next, dear."

Zeus grumbled. "Very well."

Zeus retrieved the book from Connor and opened it.

xxx

**Phew! I started work on this last morning. Sorry it took me so long. My mom loves making me do chores. Har har. Well, once again, sorry for the wait. I tried to make this extra long, but not sure how it worked out. Anyway, review! Please, please, please! I was so glad to see so many more reviews since I last updated. :D**


	10. The Lord of the Dead is Royally Pissed

**I AM TERRIBLY SORRY. YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO HATE ME. IT'S JUST THAT SCHOOL STARTED AND 10****TH**** GRADE IS THIS PIECE OF UTTER SHIT. NO WORRIES, HERE'S THE CHAPTER. Aaand to quickly answer JUST the questions-**

**Marie- Err, in MY universe Bianca is alive, but the Bianca at Olympus is from PJO. Like, she is PJO Bianca, taken from book 3. I know it's confusing :P**

**Amian4ever- You, my dear friend, have read my mind.**

**Everyone else- I LOVE YOU FOR REVIEWING 3 Aand to clear things up, I WILL NOT, I repeat, WILL NOT bring in a character, until they have been introduced PROPERLY in the PJO series. So Tyson in book 2, Thalia in book 3, Nico in book 4, etc. I'm kinda saving Percy for later, cause I don't wanna introduce him this early. COMPRENDEZ?**

**I LOVE YOU ALL AGAIN. Enough of the delaying :P**

_The Lord of the Dead is Royally Pissed_

"I am offered a quest." Zeus said.

"Finally." PJO Annabeth grinned.

**The next morning, Chiron moved me to cabin three.**

"Duh." Percy snorted.

**I didn't have to share with anybody. I had plenty of room for all my stuff: the Minotaur's**

**horn, one set of spare clothes, and a toiletry bag. I got to sit at my own dinner table, pick all my**

**own activities, call "lights out" whenever I felt like it, and not listen to anybody else.**

"Loner" Connor smirked.

Travis laughed.

**And I was absolutely miserable.**

"Emo." Travis coughed, grinning.

**Just when I'd started to feel accepted, to feel I had a home in cabin eleven and I might be a**

**normal kid—or as normal as you can be when you're a half-blood—I'd been separated out as if I**

**had some rare disease.**

Travis and Connor pretended to be dying. PJO Annabeth raised an eyebrow as if to say _"Are they always like this?"_

**Nobody mentioned the hellhound, but I got the feeling they were all talking about it behind**

**my back. The attack had scared everybody. It sent two messages: one, that I was the son of the**

**Sea God; and two, monsters would stop at nothing to kill me. They could even invade a camp that**

**had always been considered safe.**

"Have monsters ever invaded camp before?" Annabeth asked. "I mean, before this war we just had."

"I think so." Hermes shrugged. "Camp isn't always safe."

**The other campers steered clear of me as much as possible. Cabin eleven was too nervous to**

**have sword class with me after what I'd done to the Ares folks in the woods, so my lessons with**

**Luke became one-on-one. He pushed me harder than ever, and wasn't afraid to bruise me up in**

**the process.**

PJO Annabeth blushed.

Annabeth shot her a strange look.

**"You're going to need all the training you can get," he promised, as we were working with**

**swords and flaming torches. "Now let's try that viper-beheading strike again. Fifty more**

**repetitions."**

"Woah. Does he push you hard or what?" Bianca asked.

**Annabeth still taught me Greek in the mornings, but she seemed distracted. Every time I said**

**something, she scowled at me, as if I'd just poked her between the eyes.**

PJO Annabeth grinned, remembering how she had hated Percy.

**After lessons, she would walk away muttering to herself: "Quest ... Poseidon? ... Dirty rotten**

**... Got to make a plan ..."**

"Dirty rotten..." Connor mimicked.

Everyone laughed.

**Even Clarisse kept her distance, though her venomous looks made it clear she wanted to kill**

**me for breaking her magic spear. I wished she would just yell or punch me or something. I'd**

**rather get into fights every day than be ignored.**

"Aw." Travis said, hiding a smile. "Is ickle-Percykins hurt?"

**I knew somebody at camp resented me, because one night I came into my cabin and found a**

**mortal newspaper dropped inside the doorway, a copy of the ****New York Daily News, ****opened to the**

**Metro page. The article took me almost an hour to read, because the angrier I got, the more the**

**words floated around on the page.**

"This is not going to be good." Percy muttered under his breath.

**BOY AND MOTHER STILL MISSING AFTER**

**FREAK CAR ACCIDENT**

"Freak car accident." Thalia snorted.

"What would you expect mortals to say?" PJO Annabeth asked.

Thalia shot back. "No one asked you, blondie."

PJO Annabeth looked like she'd been hit in the face.

**BY EILEEN SMYTHE**

"Hey, I've heard of her." Nico said. "She wrote an article about gardening."

"How do you know that?" PJO Annabeth was astonished.

He rolled his eyes. "Aunt Demeter."

**Sally Jackson and son Percy are still missing one week after their mysterious**

**disappearance. The family's badly burned '78 Camaro was discovered last Saturday on a**

**north Long Island road with the roof ripped off and the front axle broken. The car had**

**flipped and skidded for several hundred feet before exploding.**

"Explooosion!" Connor grinned.

"Immature..." PJO Annabeth muttered.

**Mother and son had gone for a weekend vacation to Montauk, but left hastily, under**

**mysterious circumstances. Small traces of blood were found in the car and near the scene**

**of the wreck, but there were no other signs of the missing Jacksons. Residents in the rural**

**area reported seeing nothing unusual around the time of the accident.**

"They must have been both blind and deaf, then." Thalia laughed.

"Have you forgotten about the Mist?" PJO Annabeth asked snappily.

Thalia snorted. "I'm sure a car's explosion isn't covered by the mist."

"Ladies." Apollo grinned. "Don't fight. There's enough of me for everyone."

A few people laughed. PJO Annabeth and Thalia blushed.

**Ms. Jackson's husband, Gabe Ugliano, claims that his stepson, Percy Jackson, is a**

**troubled child who has been kicked out of numerous boarding schools and has expressed**

**violent tendencies in the past.**

"Violent tendencies?" Percy asked.

"Oh, Percy." Travis wagged a finger at him.

**Police would not say whether son Percy is a suspect in his mother's disappearance, but**

**they have not ruled out foul play. Below are recent pictures of Sally Jackson and Percy.**

**Police urge anyone with information to call the following toll-free crime-stoppers hotline.**

"Stupid Gabe." Sally snorted.

"What happened to him?" PJO Annabeth asked suddenly. "Percy never told me."

Sally shook her head, smiling.

**The phone number was circled in black marker.**

Bianca rolled her eyes. "Jerk."

**I wadded up the paper and threw it away, then flopped down in my bunk bed in the middle of**

**my empty cabin.**

"Loner." Connor repeated. "Oh, Percy, you miserable child."

**"Lights out," I told myself miserably.**

**That night, I had my worst dream yet.**

"Demigod dreams suck." Nico muttered.

"You said that already." Bianca told him.

"No I didn't."

"Well, someone did, and it was obviously you."

"Is that annoying language for 'I don't remember'? Because I know that I..."

"Keep quiet." Hades snapped. "Both of you."

**I was running along the beach in a storm. This time, there was a city behind me. Not New**

**York. The sprawl was different: buildings spread farther apart, palm trees and low hills in the**

**distance.**

"Greece?" Annabeth murmured to Bianca.

Bianca remained silent, not wanting to anger her father any further.

**About a hundred yards down the surf, two men were fighting. They looked like TV wrestlers,**

**muscular, with beards and long hair. Both wore flowing Greek tunics, one trimmed in blue, the**

**other in green. They grappled with each other, wrestled, kicked and head-butted, and every time**

**they connected, lightning flashed, the sky grew darker, and the wind rose.**

"Dad." Apollo rolled his eyes.

"And Poseidon." Athena smirked at him.

**I had to stop them. I didn't know why. But the harder I ran, the more the wind blew me back,**

**until I was running in place, my heels digging uselessly in the sand.**

**Over the roar of the storm, I could hear the blue-robed one yelling at the green-robed one,**

**Give it back! Give it back! ****Like a kindergartner fighting over a toy.**

Everyone laughed. Everyone, except for Zeus and Poseidon, of course.

"Give it back!" Travis mimicked silently.

**The waves got bigger, crashing into the beach, spraying me with salt.**

**I yelled, ****Stop it! Stop fighting!**

Ares snorted. There was nothing more fun than a fight.

**The ground shook. Laughter came from somewhere under the earth, and a voice so deep and**

**evil it turned my blood to ice****.**

Thalia shuddered, remembering the dreams she'd had about Kronos.

**Come down, little hero, ****the voice crooned. ****Come down!**

"Come on, Perce. You can do this." Connor laughed.

**The sand split beneath me, opening up a crevice straight down to the center of the earth. My**

**feet slipped, and darkness swallowed me.**

**I woke up, sure I was falling.**

"I hate dreams like that." Bianca said, breaking her silence. "They're so realistic."

**I was still in bed in cabin three. My body told me it was morning, but it was dark outside, and**

**thunder rolled across the hills. A storm was brewing. I hadn't dreamed that.**

"Obviously." Athena rolled her eyes. "Didn't you notice the hurricane?"

"Mom!" PJO Annabeth and Percy said simultaneously, sounding exasperated.

Everyone laughed.

**I heard a clopping sound at the door, a hoof knocking on the threshold.**

**"Come in?"**

**Grover trotted inside, looking worried. "Mr. D wants to see you."**

"How does he knock with his hooves?" Nico wondered.

"He kicks the door?" Bianca suggested, smirking.

**"Why?"**

**"He wants to kill... I mean, I'd better let him tell you."**

"That's reassuring." Percy muttered.

Thalia laughed next to him.

PJO Annabeth shot her a venomous look. She couldn't help being possessive of Percy, even if he wasn't... Percy.

**Nervously, I got dressed and followed, sure that I was in huge trouble.**

"Gee, you think?" Annabeth asked sarcastically.

**For days, I'd been half expecting a summons to the Big House. Now that I was declared a son**

**of Poseidon, one of the Big Three gods who weren't supposed to have kids, I figured it was a**

**crime for me just to be alive. The other gods had probably been debating the best way to punish**

**me for existing, and now Mr. D was ready to deliver their verdict.**

"Punish you for existing?" Artemis was shocked. "This is why..."

"It's better not to have children and bring horrible fates upon them, blah, blah." Aphrodite cut in. "We know."

**Over Long Island Sound, the sky looked like ink soup coming to a boil. A hazy curtain of rain**

**was coming in our direction. I asked Grover if we needed an umbrella.**

"I hate umbrellas." Bianca said conversationally to Annabeth. "I always feel like they're going to poke my eyes out."

**"No," he said. "It never rains here unless we want it to."**

**I pointed at the storm. "What the heck is that, then?"**

"Good question." Percy snorted.

**He glanced uneasily at the sky. "It'll pass around us. Bad weather always does."**

"Usually." Thalia corrected.

**I realized he was right. In the week I'd been here, it had never even been overcast. The few**

**rain clouds I'd seen had skirted right around the edges of the valley.**

**But this storm ... this one was huge.**

"It sounds huge." Thalia agreed.

"Are you going to keep commenting pointlessly?" PJO Annabeth asked irritatedly.

Thalia snorted. "If you don't like pointless comments, keep your mouth shut."

PJO Annabeth opened her mouth to comeback but Zeus roared. "ENOUGH! EVERYBODY!"

**At the volleyball pit, the kids from Apollo's cabin were playing a morning game against the**

**satyrs. Dionysus's twins were walking around in the strawberry fields, making the plants grow.**

**Everybody was going about their normal business, but they looked tense. They kept their eyes on**

**the storm.**

"Why is it such a big deal if it rains?" Nico grumbled.

Bianca began to say something snappy, but stopped at the look on her father's face.

**Grover and I walked up to the front porch of the Big House. Dionysus sat at the pinochle**

**table in his tiger-striped Hawaiian shirt with his Diet Coke, just as he had on my first day. Chiron**

**sat across the table in his fake wheelchair. They were playing against invisible opponents-two**

**sets of cards hovering in the air.**

"It's like that Invisibility Cloak in Harry Potter." Travis grinned.

Athena half-smiled. "Joanne is one of my daughters."

PJO Annabeth's eyes widened. No way. She was related to J.K. freaking Rowling. She looked as though she might pass out.

**"Well, well," Mr. D said without looking up. "Our little celebrity."**

"Ohmygods!" PJO Annabeth smiled. "That is so like that scene in the Sorcerer's Stone where Snape looks at Harry and goes- "Ah, yes, our new... celebrity', or something like that."

**I waited.**

**"Come closer," Mr. D said. "And don't expect me to kowtow to you, mortal, just because old**

**Barnacle-Beard is your father."**

"Like Barnacle Boy from SpongeBob." Connor laughed.

**A net of lightning flashed across the clouds. Thunder shook the windows of the house.**

**"Blah, blah, blah," Dionysus said.**

Some people hid smiles.

**Chiron feigned interest in his pinochle cards. Grover cowered by the railing, his hooves**

**clopping back and forth.**

**"If I had my way," Dionysus said, "I would cause your molecules to erupt in flames. We'd**

**sweep up the ashes and be done with a lot of trouble. But Chiron seems to feel this would be**

**against my mission at this cursed camp: to keep you little brats safe from harm."**

"That is unfortunate." Dionysus muttered. "If I'd had my way, there wouldn't be five of these boring books."

**"Spontaneous combustion ****is ****a form of harm, Mr. D," Chiron put in.**

"Nonsense." Dionysus muttered.

**"Nonsense," Dionysus said. "Boy wouldn't feel a thing. Nevertheless, I've agreed to restrain**

**myself. I'm thinking of turning you into a dolphin instead, sending you back to your father."**

"I like dolphins." Apollo said thoughtfully. "Dolphins are mammals..."

"Please." Artemis pleaded. "Restrain yourself."

**"Mr. D—" Chiron warned.**

**"Oh, all right," Dionysus relented. "There's one more option. But it's deadly foolishness."**

"Oh." Percy said, realising what was about to happen.

**Dionysus rose, and the invisible players' cards dropped to the table. "I'm off to Olympus for the**

**emergency meeting. If the boy is still here when I get back, I'll turn him into an Atlantic**

**bottlenose. Do you understand? And Perseus Jackson, if you're at all smart, you'll see that's a**

**much more sensible choice than what Chiron feels you must do."**

"Is a bottlenose a kind of dolphin?" Nico asked curiously.

Bianca snorted. "Yes."

**Dionysus picked up a playing card, twisted it, and it became a plastic rectangle. A credit**

**card? No. A security pass.**

"Could you turn it into a credit card?" Travis asked.

"Instant cash!" Connor's eyes lit up.

**He snapped his fingers.**

**The air seemed to fold and bend around him. He became a hologram, then a wind, then he**

**was gone, leaving only the smell of fresh-pressed grapes lingering behind.**

"I prefer strawberries." Demeter said haughtily.

Nobody was sure how to respond.

**Chiron smiled at me, but he looked tired and strained. "Sit, Percy, please. And Grover."**

**We did.**

**Chiron laid his cards on the table, a winning hand he hadn't gotten to use.**

"He always wins." Dionysus grumbled.

**"Tell me, Percy," he said. "What did you make of the hellhound?"**

**Just hearing the name made me shudder.**

**Chiron probably wanted me to say, ****Heck, it was nothing. I eat hellhounds for breakfast. ****But I**

**didn't feel like lying.**

"I thought you were a light eater." Thalia smirked.

"You're so funny." PJO Annabeth muttered sarcastically.

**"It scared me," I said. "If you hadn't shot it, I'd be dead."**

**"You'll meet worse, Percy. Far worse, before you're done."**

**"Done ... with what?"**

**"Your quest, of course. Will you accept it?"**

"Of course he will." Connor pretended to sound shocked. "He's a hero, our Percy is."

**I glanced at Grover, who was crossing his fingers.**

**"Um, sir," I said, "you haven't told me what it is yet."**

**Chiron grimaced. "Well, that's the hard part, the details."**

"Ooh, scary." Aphrodite smiled.

Artemis rolled her eyes exasperatedly.

**Thunder rumbled across the valley. The storm clouds had now reached the edge of the beach.**

**As far as I could see, the sky and the sea were boiling together.**

**"Poseidon and Zeus," I said. "They're fighting over something valuable ... something that was**

**stolen, aren't they?"**

"Well spotted." Athena muttered.

**Chiron and Grover exchanged looks.**

**Chiron sat forward in his wheelchair. "How did you know that?"**

"Psychic powers." Connor pretended to be shocked.

"Psycho, more like." Thalia smirked.

"You're hilarious." PJO Annabeth snorted.

**My face felt hot. I wished I hadn't opened my big mouth. "The weather since Christmas has**

**been weird, like the sea and the sky are fighting. Then I talked to Annabeth, and she'd overheard**

**something about a theft. And ... I've also been having these dreams."**

**"I knew it," Grover said.**

"Magic mushrooms!" Travis winked.

PJO Annabeth looked puzzled.

**"Hush, satyr," Chiron ordered.**

"Yes, hush." Connor snorted.

**"But it is his quest!" Grover's eyes were bright with excitement. "It must be!"**

**"Only the Oracle can determine." Chiron stroked his bristly beard. "Nevertheless, Percy, you**

**are correct. Your father and Zeus are having their worst quarrel in centuries. They are fighting**

**over something valuable that was stolen. To be precise: a lightning bolt."**

"Like Harry Potter!" Travis grinned.

"You're Harry-freakin-Potter!" Connor began singing. He stopped at a stern look from Zeus.

**I laughed nervously. "A ****what****?"**

**"Do not take this lightly," Chiron warned. "I'm not talking about some tinfoil-covered zigzag**

**you'd see in a second-grade play. I'm talking about a two-foot-long cylinder of high-grade**

**celestial bronze, capped on both ends with god-level explosives."**

"Not like Harry Potter then." Thalia laughed.

**"Oh."**

**"Zeus's master bolt," Chiron said, getting worked up now. "The symbol of his power, from**

**which all other lightning bolts are patterned. The first weapon made by the Cyclopes for the war**

**against the Titans, the bolt that sheered the top off Mount Etna and hurled Kronos from his**

**throne; the master bolt, which packs enough power to make mortal hydrogen bombs look like**

**firecrackers."**

"Dude, it would be awesome if we had a hydrogen bomb." Travis leaned over to tell Nico.

Nico laughed.

**"And it's missing?"**

**"Stolen," Chiron said.**

**"By who?"**

**"By ****whom****," Chiron corrected. Once a teacher, always a teacher. "By you."**

Connor mock gasped. "Why, Percy!"

PJO Annabeth smirked.

**My mouth fell open.**

**"At least"—Chiron held up a hand—"that's what Zeus thinks. During the winter solstice, at**

**the last council of the gods, Zeus and Poseidon had an argument. The usual nonsense: 'Mother**

**Rhea always liked you best,' Air disasters are more spectacular than sea disasters,' et cetera.**

**Afterward, Zeus realized his master bolt was missing, taken from the throne room under his very**

**nose. He immediately blamed Poseidon. Now, a god cannot usurp another god's symbol of power**

**directly—that is forbidden by the most ancient of divine laws. But Zeus believes your father convinced**

**a human hero to take it."**

"Paranoid." Hera muttered.

Artemis smiled faintly. "Chiron appears to know a lot about father's arguments with uncle."

**"But I didn't—"**

"Interrupting a teacher?" Travis asked. "Now, now, Percy."

**"Patience and listen, child," Chiron said. "Zeus has good reason to be suspicious. The forges**

**of the Cyclopes are under the ocean, which gives Poseidon some influence over the makers of his**

**brother's lightning. Zeus believes Poseidon has taken the master bolt, and is now secretly having**

**the Cyclopes build an arsenal of illegal copies, which might be used to topple Zeus from his**

**throne. The only thing Zeus wasn't sure about was which hero Poseidon used to steal the bolt.**

**Now Poseidon has openly claimed you as his son. You were in New York over the winter**

**holidays. You could easily have snuck into Olympus. Zeus believes he has found his thief."**

Most of the people in the room snorted.

Poseidon hid a smile. "Well, brother. Maybe you should, er, keep closer watch on the Cyclopes."

**"But I've never even been to Olympus! Zeus is crazy!"**

"I couldn't have put it better." Thalia whispered to Annabeth.

**Chiron and Grover glanced nervously at the sky. The clouds didn't seem to be parting around**

**us, as Grover had promised. They were rolling straight over our valley, sealing us in like a coffin**

**lid.**

**"Er, Percy ...?" Grover said. "We don't use the ****c****-word to describe the Lord of the Sky."**

"Oh no you didn't!" Connor smirked.

Thalia bit her knuckles to stifle her laughter.

**"Perhaps ****paranoid," ****Chiron suggested. "Then again, Poseidon has tried to unseat Zeus**

**before. I believe that was question thirty-eight on your final exam..." He looked at me as if he**

**actually expected me to remember question thirty-eight.**

"Yes, there is a reason behind my paranoia." Zeus glared.

**How could anyone accuse me of stealing a god's weapon? I couldn't even steal a slice of**

**pizza from Gabe's poker party without getting busted. Chiron was waiting for an answer.**

"I love pizza." Travis said wistfully.

"Hey, Nico. Italian boy. Get us pizza." Connor ordered.

"But without the mould, please." Travis added.

"Yeah, I like my pizza alive."

"Unless it's chicken."

"Shut up." Nico rolled his eyes.

**"Something about a golden net?" I guessed. "Poseidon and Hera and a few other gods ... they,**

**like, trapped Zeus and wouldn't let him out until he promised to be a better ruler, right?"**

"Too bad he didn't keep his promise." Poseidon murmured.

**"Correct," Chiron said. "And Zeus has never trusted Poseidon since. Of course, Poseidon**

**denies stealing the master bolt. He took great offense at the accusation. The two have been**

**arguing back and forth for months, threatening war. And now, you've come along—the proverbial**

**last straw."**

**"But I'm just a kid!"**

"Aww." Aphrodite smiled. "Poor Percy."

**"Percy," Grover cut in, "if you were Zeus, and you already thought your brother was plotting**

**to overthrow you, then your brother suddenly admitted he had broken the sacred oath he took**

**after World War II, that he's fathered a new mortal hero who might be used as a weapon against**

**you... Wouldn't that put a twist in your toga?"**

"I don't like togas, thank you very much." Percy muttered.

"Aren't togas Roman?" Thalia asked curiously.

Zeus coughed. "Why are we talking about Romans? Er... yes. On with the story."

**"But I didn't do anything. Poseidon—my dad—he didn't really have this master bolt stolen,**

**did he?"**

"Obviously not." Poseidon snorted.

**Chiron sighed. "Most thinking observers would agree that thievery is not Poseidon's style.**

**But the Sea God is too proud to try convincing Zeus of that. Zeus has demanded that Poseidon**

**return the bolt by the summer solstice. That's June twenty-first, ten days from now. Poseidon**

**wants an apology for being called a thief by the same date. I hoped that diplomacy might prevail,**

**that Hera or Demeter or Hestia would make the two brothers see sense. But your arrival has**

**inflamed Zeus's temper. Now neither god will back down. Unless someone intervenes, unless the**

**master bolt is found and returned to Zeus before the solstice, there will be war. And do you know**

**what a full-fledged war would look like, Percy?"**

Artemis muttered something that sounded like "stubborn" .

**"Bad?" I guessed.**

Athena raised an eyebrow. "Interesting word choice." **(A/N: Sorry, couldn't resist. When my English teacher was grading our compositions, she crossed out the words 'bad' or 'good' because of the "word choice" )**

**"Imagine the world in chaos. Nature at war with itself. Olympians forced to choose sides**

**between Zeus and Poseidon. Destruction. Carnage. Millions dead. Western civilization turned**

**into a battleground so big it will make the Trojan War look like a water-balloon fight."**

"I love water balloons." Connor grinned. "So many possibilities."

Annabeth was shaking her head vigorously. "Never get into a water balloon fight with Thalia."

Thalia grinned mischievously.

**"Bad," I repeated.**

**"And you, Percy Jackson, would be the first to feel Zeus's wrath."**

**It started to rain. Volleyball players stopped their game and stared in stunned silence at the**

**sky.**

"That's unfair." Artemis said. "Just because of one boy..."

"Be silent and let me read!" Zeus grumbled.

**I ****had brought this storm to Half-Blood Hill. Zeus was punishing the whole camp because of**

**me. I was furious.**

**"So I have to find the stupid bolt," I said. "And return it to Zeus."**

"Stupid bolt." Travis wagged a finger at the lightning bolt resting at Zeus's foot. "You naughty, dumb, little bolt."

"That can destroy you." PJO Annabeth reminded.

"You beautiful, beautiful, bolt." Travis amended.

**"What better peace offering," Chiron said, "than to have the son of Poseidon return Zeus's**

**property?"**

**"If Poseidon doesn't have it, where is the thing?"**

**"I believe I know." Chiron's expression was grim. "Part of a prophecy I had years ago ... well,**

**some of the lines make sense to me, now. But before I can say more, you must officially take up**

**the quest. You must seek the counsel of the Oracle."**

"I hate the Oracle." Thalia muttered. "Creepy old mummy."

PJO Annabeth blinked. "But Rachel..."

"Who's Rachel?" Nico asked curiously.

PJO Annabeth and Sally exchanged a knowing glance.

"Uh, nobody." PJO Annabeth said.

**"Why can't you tell me where the bolt is beforehand?"**

**"Because if I did, you would be too afraid to accept the challenge."**

"Encouraging." Thalia snorted.

**I swallowed. "Good reason."**

**"You agree then?"**

**I looked at Grover, who nodded encouragingly.**

**Easy for him. I was the one Zeus wanted to kill.**

**"All right," I said. "It's better than being turned into a ****dolphin."**

"I do prefer jackalopes." Artemis mused.

"I like penguins." Apollo grinned. "Except they're not really sunny."

"How can an animal be sunny?" Artemis rolled her eyes.

"They're _birds_." Athena said superiorly.

"I thought they were mammals." Travis said.

Everyone stared at him.

"Dolphins are mammals." Apollo offered.

Travis stared. "No way! I thought they were fish!"

"I'll turn you into a fish if you don't keep quiet." Poseidon threatened.

The threat worked.

**"Then it's time you consulted the Oracle," Chiron said. "Go upstairs, Percy Jackson, to the**

**attic. When you come back down, assuming you're still sane, we will talk more."**

"Assuming you're still sane?" Connor wondered.

"Percy Jackson and the curse of insanity." Annabeth laughed.

**Four flights up, the stairs ended under a green trapdoor.**

**I pulled the cord. The door swung down, and a wooden ladder clattered into place.**

**The warm air from above smelled like mildew and rotten wood and something else ... a smell**

**I remembered from biology class. Reptiles. The smell of snakes.**

Connor hissed wildly. Travis smacked him on the head.

**I held my breath and climbed.**

**The attic was filled with Greek hero junk: armor stands covered in cobwebs; once-bright**

**shields pitted with rust; old leather steamer trunks plastered with stickers saying ITHAKA,**

**CIRCE'S ISLE, and LAND OF THE AMAZONS. One long table was stacked with glass jars filled**

**with pickled ****things****—severed hairy claws, huge yellow eyes, various other parts of monsters. A**

**dusty mounted trophy on the wall looked like a giant snake's head, but with horns and a full set of**

**shark's teeth. The plaque read, HYDRA HEAD #1, WOODSTOCK, N.Y., 1969.**

"What's an Ithaka?" Connor wondered.

"A nosy git like you." Thalia grinned.

**By the window, sitting on a wooden tripod stool, was the most gruesome memento of all: a**

**mummy. Not the wrapped-in-cloth kind, but a human female body shriveled to a husk. She wore**

**a tie-dyed sundress, lots of beaded necklaces, and a headband over long black hair. The skin of**

**her face was thin and leathery over her skull, and her eyes were glassy white slits, as if the real**

**eyes had been replaced by marbles; she'd been dead a long, long time.**

"Ew." Bianca wrinkled her nose.

Apollo glared pointedly at Hades.

**Looking at her sent chills up my back. And that was before she sat up on her stool and**

**opened her mouth. A green mist poured from the mummy's mouth, coiling over the floor in thick**

**tendrils, hissing like twenty thousand snakes. I stumbled over myself trying to get to the trapdoor,**

**but it slammed shut. Inside my head, I heard a voice, slithering into one ear and coiling around**

**my brain: ****I am the spirit of Delphi, speaker of the prophecies of Phoebus Apollo, slayer of the**

**mighty Python. Approach, seeker, and ask.**

"What Python?" Bianca asked.

"Long story." Apollo muttered.

**I wanted to say, ****No thanks, wrong door, just looking for the bathroom. ****But I forced myself to**

**take a deep breath.**

"Just looking for the bathroom. Smooth." Connor smirked.

**The mummy wasn't alive. She was some kind of gruesome receptacle for something else, the**

**power that was now swirling around me in the green mist. But its presence didn't feel evil, like**

**my demonic math teacher Mrs. Dodds or the Minotaur. It felt more like the Three Fates I'd seen**

**knitting the yarn outside the highway fruit stand: ancient, powerful, and definitely ****not ****human. But**

**not particularly interested in killing me, either.**

"That's reassuring." Percy grinned.

**I got up the courage to ask, "What is my destiny?"**

**The mist swirled more thickly, collecting right in front of me and around the table with the**

**pickled monster-part jars. Suddenly there were four men sitting around the table, playing cards.**

**Their faces became clearer. It was Smelly Gabe and his buddies.**

"That can't be your destiny." Thalia said, shocked.

**My fists clenched, though I knew this poker party couldn't be real. It was an illusion, made**

**out of mist.**

"But still as ugly as ever." Aphrodite murmured.

"I don't think even one of your make-overs could help Smelly Gabe." Apollo laughed.

Aphrodite frowned, trying to figure out whether she had just been insulted.

**Gabe turned toward me and spoke in the rasping voice of the Oracle: ****You shall go west, and**

**face the god who has turned.**

Hades met the accusing glares defiantly. "Not me."

**His buddy on the right looked up and said in the same voice: ****You shall find what was stolen,**

**and see it safely returned.**

"That's good." Annabeth grinned.

PJO Annabeth leaned forward, wanting to hear the rest of the prophecy.

**The guy on the left threw in two poker chips, then said: ****You shall he betrayed by one who**

**calls you a friend.**

"Tssk, tssk, Grover." Travis laughed.

"Grover doesn't seem like that kind of a satyr." Percy frowned. "What other friends do I have?"

Everyone turned to PJO Annabeth. "It wasn't me." She said immediately.

**Finally, Eddie, our building super, delivered the worst line of all: ****And you shall fail to save**

**what matters most, in the end.**

"Like what?" Percy asked, puzzled.

"I hate prophecies." Nico muttered.

"Amen." Thalia said solemnly.

**The figures began to dissolve. At first I was too stunned to say anything, but as the mist**

**retreated, coiling into a huge green serpent and slithering back into the mouth of the mummy, I**

**cried, "Wait! What do you mean? What friend? What will I fail to save?"**

**The tail of the mist snake disappeared into the mummy's mouth. She reclined back against the**

**wall. Her mouth closed tight, as if it hadn't been open in a hundred years. The attic was silent**

**again, abandoned, nothing but a room full of mementos.**

"Helpful." Annabeth commented.

**I got the feeling that I could stand here until I had cobwebs, too, and I wouldn't learn anything**

**else.**

"Percy with cobwebs." Thalia mused.

Percy shuddered. "That would be better than spiderwebs."

**My audience with the Oracle was over.**

**"Well?" Chiron asked me.**

**I slumped into a chair at the pinochle table. "She said I would retrieve what was stolen."**

**Grover sat forward, chewing excitedly on the remains of a Diet Coke can. "That's great!"**

"See." Percy said pointedly. "He's too nice to betray me."

Travis grinned. "Relax. I was kidding."

**"What did the Oracle say ****exactly?" ****Chiron pressed. "This is important."**

**My ears were still tingling from the reptilian voice. "She . .. she said I would go west and face**

**a god who had turned. I would retrieve what was stolen and see it safely returned."**

**"I knew it," Grover said.**

"Psychic." Connor pretended to be shocked.

**Chiron didn't look satisfied. "Anything else?"**

**I didn't want to tell him.**

**What friend would betray me? I didn't have that many.**

"Exactly." Travis smirked. "You still don't."

**And the last line—I would fail to save what mattered most. What kind of Oracle would send**

**me on a quest and tell me, ****Oh, by the way, you'll fail**

"Have fun on your quest!" Connor smirked.

**How could I confess that?**

**"No," I said. "That's about it."**

Travis gasped. "Liar!"

**He studied my face. "Very well, Percy. But know this: the Oracle's words often have double**

**meanings. Don't dwell on them too much. The truth is not always clear until events come to**

**pass."**

**I got the feeling he knew I was holding back something bad, and he was trying to make me**

**feel better.**

"Well, duh."Annabeth rolled her eyes. "Your lie was so obvious."

**"Okay," I said, anxious to change topics. "So where do I go? Who's this god in the west?"**

"Hades." Apollo coughed.

Hades rolled his eyes.

**"Ah, think, Percy," Chiron said. "If Zeus and Poseidon weaken each other in a war, who**

**stands to gain?"**

"Hades." Apollo coughed again.

**"Somebody else who wants to take over?" I guessed.**

Apollo coughed. "Gee I wonder who that could be."

"Shut up." Hades muttered.

**"Yes, quite. Someone who harbors a grudge, who has been unhappy with his lot since the**

**world was divided eons ago, whose kingdom would grow powerful with the deaths of millions.**

**Someone who hates his brothers for forcing him into an oath to have no more children, an oath**

**that both of them have now broken."**

Hades interrupted. "Please, no more coughing."

Apollo glared. "I wasn't going to."

"Awkward." Aphrodite said in a sing-song voice.

"Oh, be quiet." Artemis said wearily.

**I thought about my dreams, the evil voice that had spoken from under the ground. "Hades."**

"Smart boy." Apollo winked.

**Chiron nodded. "The Lord of the Dead is the only possibility."**

**A scrap of aluminum dribbled out of Grover's mouth. "Whoa, wait. Wh-what?"**

**"A Fury came after Percy," Chiron reminded him. "She watched the young man until she was**

**sure of his identity, then tried to kill him. Furies obey only one lord: Hades."**

"Exactly." Apollo said, satisfied.

Artemis cut in before Hades could. "Brother, stop."

Hades smirked.

**"Yes, but—but Hades hates ****all ****heroes," Grover protested. "Especially if he has found out**

**Percy is a son of Poseidon..."**

**"A hellhound got into the forest," Chiron continued. "Those can only be summoned from the**

**Fields of Punishment, and it had to be summoned by someone within the camp. Hades must have**

**a spy here. He must suspect Poseidon will try to use Percy to clear his name. Hades would very**

**much like to kill this young half-blood before he can take on the quest."**

"Tempting." Hades murmured.

Artemis shot him an angry look.

"I'm not serious." He rolled his eyes.

Bianca whispered to Annabeth. "Hades should compete in an eye-rolling contest."

Annabeth stifled giggles.

**"Great," I muttered. "That's two major gods who want to kill me."**

"Fun." Ares grinned.

**"But a quest to ..." Grover swallowed. "I mean, couldn't the master bolt be in some place like**

**Maine? Maine's very nice this time of year."**

"I like Maine." Apollo said thoughtfully.

**"Hades sent a minion to steal the master bolt," Chiron insisted. "He hid it in the Underworld,**

**knowing full well that Zeus would blame Poseidon. I don't pretend to understand the Lord of the**

**Dead's motives perfectly, or why he chose this time to start a war, but one thing is certain. Percy**

**must go to the Underworld, find the master bolt, and reveal the truth."**

Hades sighed. He was always so misunderstood.

**A strange fire burned in my stomach. The weirdest thing was: it wasn't fear. It was**

**anticipation. The desire for revenge. Hades had tried to kill me three times so far, with the Fury,**

**the Minotaur, and the hellhound. It was his fault my mother had disappeared in a flash of light.**

**Now he was trying to frame me and my dad for a theft we hadn't committed.**

**I was ready to take him on.**

Hades laughed. "Rash, demigod. Very rash."

"It's the thought that counts." Apollo said.

"Enough already." Hades grumbled. "I apologised."

"My Oracle is a mummy because..."

"Of your father." Hades put in.

Zeus glared at both of them. "Shut up. I might just turn both of you into ferrets." **(A/N- Draco Malfoy. Heh heh.)**

"Why ferrets?" Aphrodite wondered.

"Because you're an idiot." Artemis offered.

"Har har."

**Besides, if my mother was in the Underworld ...**

"I hate demigods!" Hades groaned. "I hate them. Oh, let's just waltz into the Underworld, shall we? And while we're at it, let's bring a few souls back from the dead. Not to mention bribing Charon, so Lord Hades is forced to give him a pay raise."

"Temper, temper." Apollo chided merrily.

**Whoa, boy, said the small part of my brain that was still sane. You're a kid. Hades is a god.**

**Grover was trembling. He'd started eating pinochle cards like potato chips.**

Dionysus looked affronted.

**The poor guy needed to complete a quest with me so he could get his searcher's license,**

**whatever that was, but how could I ask him to do this quest, especially when the Oracle said I**

**was destined to fail? This was suicide.**

"No dibs, Sherlock." Thalia snorted.

**"Look, if we know it's Hades," I told Chiron, "why can't we just tell the other gods? Zeus or**

**Poseidon could go down to the Underworld and bust some heads."**

"We would never do that." Poseidon assured his brother mischievously.

**"Suspecting and knowing are not the same," Chiron said. "Besides, even if the other gods**

**suspect Hades—and I imagine Poseidon does—they couldn't retrieve the bolt themselves. Gods**

**cannot cross each other's territories except by invitation. That is another ancient rule. Heroes, on**

**the other hand, have certain privileges. They can go anywhere, challenge anyone, as long as**

**they're bold enough and strong enough to do it. No god can be held responsible for a hero's**

**actions. Why do you think the gods always operate through humans?"**

"What happens if a god breaks the Ancient Rules?" Annabeth asked.

Zeus looked uncomfortable.

**"You're saying I'm being used."**

**"I'm saying it's no accident Poseidon has claimed you now. It's a very risky gamble, but he's**

**in a desperate situation. He needs you."**

"You're lucky you even got claimed." Artemis said.

**My dad needs me.**

**Emotions rolled around inside me like bits of glass in a kaleidoscope. I didn't know whether**

**to feel resentful or grateful or happy or angry. Poseidon had ignored me for twelve years. Now**

**suddenly he needed me.**

"I'd go with resentful." Ares offered.

"Not helpful." Aphrodite said.

Hades rolled his eyes.

Annabeth whispered to Bianca. "You're right. Your dad could be an eye-rolling champion."

**I looked at Chiron. "You've known I was Poseidon's son all along, haven't you?"**

**"I had my suspicions. As I said ... I've spoken to the Oracle, too."**

**I got the feeling there was a lot he wasn't telling me about his prophecy, but I decided I**

**couldn't worry about that right now. After all, I was holding back information too.**

"Naughty Percy." Connor winked.

**"So let me get this straight," I said. "I'm supposed go to the Underworld and confront the**

**Lord of the Dead."**

**"Check," Chiron said.**

**"Find the most powerful weapon in the universe."**

**"Check."**

**"And get it back to Olympus before the summer solstice, in ten days."**

**"That's about right."**

"Piece of cake." Thalia laughed.

**I looked at Grover, who gulped down the ace of hearts.**

**"Did I mention that Maine is very nice this time of year?" he asked weakly.**

"I like Mai- "Apollo began.

"Yes, you told us." Artemis interrupted.

**"You don't have to go," I told him. "I can't ask that of you.**

**"Oh ..." He shifted his hooves. "No ... it's just that satyrs and underground places ... well..."**

**He took a deep breath, then stood, brushing the shredded cards and aluminum bits off his Tshirt.**

**"You saved my life, Percy. If ... if you're serious about wanting me along, I won't let you**

**down."**

"Aww." Aphrodite crooned.

"I can't believe it." Hades muttered to himself. "We aren't even halfway through the first book, and we have four more to go."

**I felt so relieved I wanted to cry, though I didn't think that would be very heroic. Grover was**

**the only friend I'd ever had for longer than a few months. I wasn't sure what good a satyr could do**

**against the forces of the dead, but I felt better knowing he'd be with me.**

**"All the way, G-man." I turned to Chiron. "So where do we go? The Oracle just said to go**

**west."**

"To the west, to the west." Travis sang.

"Shut up." Connor snorted.

**"The entrance to the Underworld is always in the west. It moves from age to age, just like**

**Olympus. Right now, of course, it's in America."**

**"Where?"**

**Chiron looked surprised. "I thought that would be obvious enough. The entrance to the**

**Underworld is in Los Angeles."**

"L.A!" Connor grinned. "I love L.A!"

**"Oh," I said. "Naturally. So we just get on a plane—"**

"Facepalm." Thalia laughed. "How stupid can you get?"

**"No!" Grover shrieked. "Percy, what are you thinking? Have you ever been on a plane in**

**your life?"**

"With good reason." Poseidon said darkly.

**I shook my head, feeling embarrassed. My mom had never taken me anywhere by plane.**

**She'd always said we didn't have the money. Besides, her parents had died in a plane crash.**

**"Percy, think," Chiron said. "You are the son of the Sea God. Your father's bitterest rival is**

**Zeus, Lord of the Sky. Your mother knew better than to trust you in an airplane. You would be in**

**Zeus's domain. You would never come down again alive."**

"Yeah, Percy, think." Travis shook his head.

**Overhead, lightning crackled. Thunder boomed.**

**"Okay," I said, determined not to look at the storm. "So, I'll travel overland."**

**"That's right," Chiron said. "Two companions may accompany you. Grover is one. The other**

**has already volunteered, if you will accept her help."**

**"Gee," I said, feigning surprise. "Who else would be stupid enough to volunteer for a quest**

**like this?"**

Connor pretended to think. PJO Annabeth laughed, blushing slightly.

**The air shimmered behind Chiron.**

**Annabeth became visible, stuffing her Yankees cap into her back pocket.**

**"I've been waiting a long time for a quest, seaweed brain," she said. "Athena is no fan of**

**Poseidon, but if you're going to save the world, I'm the best person to keep you from messing up."**

"Well said." Athena nodded.

**"If you do say so yourself," I said. "I suppose you have a plan, wise girl?"**

**Her cheeks colored. "Do you want my help or not?"**

**The truth was, I did. I needed all the help I could get.**

"Aww." Aphrodite smiled.

"Can you say anything else?" Artemis asked exasperatedly.

**"A trio," I said. "That'll work."**

"The Golden Trio." Thalia announced.

Everyone stared at her.

"You know, as in Harry Potter? No? Never mind."

**"Excellent," Chiron said. "This afternoon, we can take you as far as the bus terminal in**

**Manhattan. After that, you are on your own."**

"Manhattan!" Connor grinned. "I love Manhattan!"

"What about Brooklyn?" Travis interrupted.

Zeus and a few other gods exchanged wary looks. "Brooklyn, ah, has its own problems."

**Lightning flashed. Rain poured down on the meadows that were never supposed to have**

**violent weather.**

**"No time to waste," Chiron said. "I think you should all get packing."**

"The sooner the better." Connor grinned. "My mom always says that."

"Unless you're about to die." Travis pointed out.

"Oh, yeah." Connor laughed.

"The chapter's over." Zeus said irritatedly.

"I can read." Apollo volunteered.

"Wonderful." Hades muttered. "Maybe that would stop you from commenting unnecessarily."

Zeus passed the book to Apollo.

Apollo winked and cleared his throat.

**Phew.**

**Okay, I AM TERRIBLY SORRY AGAIN. I will try to be a little more regular, but the shit gets real in 10****th**** grade xP This fanfic always takes me the longest. I copy-paste the original story from a pdf file, so that halves my time. But I also need to work on *my* story so it's not just all Rick Riordan's story. Basically, every chapter of mine needs to be nearly as long as the original chapter. Yeah, it's easier to work on my other two fan fics.**

**Speaking of which, if I wrote a crossover between Kane Chronicles and PJO, would anyone be interested? Don't worry, that won't affect me updating this fanfic. Let me know in a review **

**Once again, ES TUT MIR LEID. **

**I love you if you review 3**


	11. The Sea God and the Wisdom Goddess

**Again. I meant to update earlier, but I just didn't get enough parents force me to be socialover the weekends and go out to their friends' houses for lunch and all that bull. Plus, these past coupla weeks have been like *attack of my friends' birthdays* And organising it is so annoying -.-**

**And ha, all of you who think I'm adjustin to sophomore year, I am SO not xD Luckily, the homework levels have died down a bit :S The only problem is that I have like 9 tests a week or so :O Haha anyways, just answering questions-**

**Knoitall86- Lol, I'm not dead xD Yeah, I ship Poseidon/Athena :D So I might put in some stuff later :)**

**Amian4ever- Haha, ok, just so everyone understands. Apollo does not like Hades, because Hades cursed the Oracle (aah)**

**Obsessed-beyond-reason-2001- Thanks :) Grover should drop by about the end of the book or so :D**

**Piogeo- I won't be bringing the Stolls in, cause they're not all that different**

**PLKBerry- A cobweb is naturally formed dust. Like, if you don't clean your house for a month and you live in a really polluted area, dust accumulates in the corners. Spiderwebs are made by spiders with that special sticky substance (like Spiderman haha) I didn't know either until a coupla months back :S**

**Kittymitten- THANK YOU FOR ASKING. Well, I'm thinking about it. Idk if I'll actually get around to it, but I'm DEFINITELY considering it**

**And sorry if I skipped over your review, I just didn't want to delay much longer :)**

_The Sea God and the Wisdom Goddess_

**(A/N: Chapter title sucks. It's more of banter, really. I just suck at titles :S )**

"I ruin a perfectly good bus." Apollo read.

"I hate buses." Demeter offered. "Polluting the air. Absolutely no respect for agriculture."

"Could I translate these into limericks?" Apollo was struck with a thought. "It would be more entertaining."

"No." The gods said firmly in unison.

Bianca smothered a giggle. Thalia hastily turned a laugh into a cough.

"Just read, will you." Artemis said impatiently.

**It didn't take me long to pack. I decided to leave the Minotaur horn in my cabin, which left me**

**only an extra change of clothes and a toothbrush to stuff in a backpack Grover had found for me.**

**The camp store loaned me one hundred dollars in mortal money and twenty golden drachmas.**

"One hundred dollars." Connor's eyes bugged out. "They have that much money?"

"Awesome!" Travis exclaimed.

Percy and Thalia exchanged looks. They'd better tell Chiron to up the security on the camp store.

PJO Annabeth caught the look enviously.

**These coins were as big as Girl Scout cookies and had images of various Greek gods stamped on**

**one side and the Empire State Building on the other. The ancient mortal drachmas had been**

**silver, Chiron told us, but Olympians never used less than pure gold. Chiron said the coins might**

**come in handy for non-mortal transactions—whatever that meant. **

Hades grumbled about corrupt employees and bribing Charon.

**He gave Annabeth and me each a canteen of nectar and a Ziploc bag full of ambrosia squares, to be used only in emergencies, if we were seriously hurt. It was god food, Chiron reminded us. It would cure us of almost any injury, but it was lethal to mortals. Too much of it would make a half-blood very, very**

**feverish. An overdose would burn us up, literally.**

"Has anyone ever burnt up?" Nico asked curiously.

"The Great Fire of London, 1666." Athena said promptly.

The gods nodded, remembering the tragedy.

"What happened?" Bianca asked.

"Not important." Hades sighed. "On with the reading, please."

**Annabeth was bringing her magic Yankees cap, which she told me had been a twelfth birthday**

**present from her mom. She carried a book on famous classical architecture, written in**

**Ancient Greek, to read when she got bored, and a long bronze knife, hidden in her shirt sleeve. I**

**was sure the knife would get us busted the first time we went through a metal detector.**

"You use a knife?" Thalia asked PJO Annabeth sceptically.

"Yeah, so?" PJO Annabeth snorted.

Thalia smirked. "What do you do with it- cut yourself?"

"Ha. Ha." Annabeth said sarcastically. "Shut up."

"She probably used it on Percy." Connor stage-whispered, winking.

Everyone laughed and the tension eased a little.

**Grover wore his fake feet and his pants to pass as human. He wore a green rasta-style cap,**

**because when it rained his curly hair flattened and you could just see the tips of his horns. His**

**bright orange backpack was full of scrap metal and apples to snack on. In his pocket was a set of**

**reed pipes his daddy goat had carved for him, even though he only knew two songs: Mozart's**

**Piano Concerto no. 12 and Hilary Duff's "So Yesterday," both of which sounded pretty bad on**

**reed pipes.**

Both Travis and Connor laughed simultaneously.

"What?" Thalia asked.

Travis sniggered. "We once messed with the reed pipes, so it would only play 'Mary had a little lamb'. We bribed the Apollo cabin."

Apollo looked slightly affronted, but everyone else was clutching their sides with laughter.

**We waved good-bye to the other campers, took one last look at the strawberry fields, the**

**ocean, and the Big House, then hiked up Half-Blood Hill to the tall pine tree that used to be**

**Thalia, daughter of Zeus.**

PJO Annabeth felt a sudden pang as she missed Thalia. Well, the Thalia _she'd_ known. She glanced at the other Thalia. She didn't like her.

**Chiron was waiting for us in his wheelchair. Next to him stood the surfer dude I'd seen when**

**I was recovering in the sick room. According to Grover, the guy was the camp's head of security.**

**He supposedly had eyes all over his body so he could never be surprised. Today, though, he was**

**wearing a chauffeur's uniform, so I could only see extra peepers on his hands, face and neck.**

Bianca raised an eyebrow. "Creepy."

**"This is Argus," Chiron told me. "He will drive you into the city, and, er, well, keep an eye on**

**things."**

"Funny." Connor snorted.

**I heard footsteps behind us.**

**Luke came running up the hill, carrying a pair of basketball shoes.**

"Helpful." Thalia commented, laughing.

**"Hey!" he panted. "Glad I caught you."**

**Annabeth blushed, the way she always did when Luke was around.**

Everyone stared at PJO Annabeth as she blushed again.

**"Just wanted to say good luck," Luke told me. "And I thought ... um, maybe you could use**

**these."**

**He handed me the sneakers, which looked pretty normal. They even smelled kind of normal.**

"That's weird." Travis wrinkled his nose. "Basketball shoes always stink."

Connor leaned over and punched him. "Remember that one time when we lent Drew a pair of shoes that smelled once she put them on, but she couldn't notice?"

"Oh, yeah." Travis grinned.

**Luke said, **_**"Maia!"**_

**White bird's wings sprouted out of the heels, startling me so much, I dropped them. The shoes**

**flapped around on the ground until the wings folded up and disappeared.**

"Like Daddy's shoes!" Connor batted his eyelashes.

Hermes surveyed them, half-amused, half-exasperated.

**"Awesome!" Grover said.**

**Luke smiled. "Those served me well when I was on my quest. Gift from Dad. Of course, I**

**don't use them much these days..." His expression turned sad.**

**I didn't know what to say. It was cool enough that Luke had come to say good-bye. I'd been**

**afraid he might resent me for getting so much attention the last few days. But here he was giving**

**me a magic gift... It made me blush almost as much as Annabeth.**

"Aw." Travis crooned. "Percy has a crush."

Percy burst out laughing. "Shut up."

**"Hey, man," I said. "Thanks."**

**"Listen, Percy ..." Luke looked uncomfortable. "A lot of hopes are riding on you. So just ...**

**kill some monsters for me, okay?"**

"Does he want you to bring him back a souvenir?" Nico snorted.

Bianca glared at him. "What? You're not making any sense, Nico."

Nico rolled his eyes.

"Like father, like son." Annabeth whispered to Bianca, grinning.

**We shook hands. Luke patted Grover's head between his horns, then gave a good-bye hug to**

**Annabeth, who looked like she might pass out.**

**After Luke was gone, I told her, "You're hyperventilating."**

**"Am not."**

"Liar." Connor wagged a finger.

**"You let him capture the flag instead of you, didn't you?"**

**"Oh ... why do I want to go anywhere with you, Percy?"**

"Good question." Annabeth laughed. PJO Annabeth looked a little gratified, although it was a little weird to be complimented by... herself.

**She stomped down the other side of the hill, where a white SUV waited on the shoulder of the**

**road. Argus followed, jingling his car keys.**

"Jingle bells, Nico smells, and then he laid an egg." Connor sang.

People all around the room stifled their smiles as Nico glared.

**I picked up the flying shoes and had a sudden bad feeling. I looked at Chiron. "I won't be able**

**to use these, will I?"**

"Are they a size too small?" Aphrodite asked, shocked.

Artemis sighed. "No, you daft dimbo." **(A/N: Yes, I am a Potterhead. I shall make Harry Potter references xD )**

Athena smirked.

**He shook his head. "Luke meant well, Percy. But taking to the air ... that would not be wise**

**for you."**

**I nodded, disappointed, but then I got an idea. "Hey, Grover. You want a magic item?"**

**His eyes lit up. "Me?"**

"How does he wear shoes if he has hooves?" Bianca wondered. "I mean, his feet are shaped differently, right?"

Nico paused to consider the question. "Why does it matter?"

**Pretty soon we'd laced the sneakers over his fake feet, and the world's first flying goat boy**

**was ready for launch.**

"Lunch?" Travis asked eagerly. "Great, I'm starving!"

"Hey, Italian boy..." Connor began.

"No pizza." Nico said irritatedly. "Or pasta. Or food."

"No food?" Travis sounded shocked.

"Fooooooooooood..." Connor imitated Grover.

"How about sushi?" Travis asked Poseidon.

Athena cut in before Poseidon could yell at them. "It says _launch_. Not lunch."

Connor had a fake breakdown. Travis pretended to begin sobbing.

"Thank you." Poseidon told Athena wearily, annoyed at the Stolls.

Athena looked a little surprised and pleased.

_**"Maia!" **_**he shouted.**

**He got off the ground okay, but then fell over sideways so his backpack dragged through the**

**grass. The winged shoes kept bucking up and down like tiny broncos.**

"What's a bronco?" Annabeth interrupted.

"Those things in your lungs." Travis supplied.

Percy laughed. "Those are _bronchi_. You two must be deaf."

"The winged shoes bucked up and down like lungs?" Thalia snorted. "That doesn't make sense."

"I think broncos are some sort of bulls, maybe." PJO Annabeth said. "But I'm not sure."**(A/N: What **_**is **_**a bronco?)**

"Thank you for that bit of useless information." Thalia said sarcastically.

PJO Annabeth smirked. "No information is ever useless."

Athena smiled appreciatively.

**"Practice," Chiron called after him. "You just need practice!"**

**"Aaaaa!" Grover went flying sideways down the hill like a possessed lawn mower, heading**

**toward the van.**

"A lawn mower?" Nico laughed. "Is that the best description you could come up with?"

**Before I could follow, Chiron caught my arm. "I should have trained you better, Percy," he**

**said. "If only I had more time. Hercules, Jason—they all got more training."**

"Jason?" Annabeth asked, staring.

The gods fidgeted. **(A/N: Jason Grace? Is now Annabeth's brother? Haha, yeah :S )**

"Jason and the Argonauts." Artemis explained.

"Oh, that Jason." Annabeth said.

**"That's okay. I just wish—"**

**I stopped myself because I was about to sound like a brat. I was wishing my dad had given**

**me a cool magic item to help on the quest, something as good as Luke's flying shoes, or**

**Annabeth's invisible cap.**

"Actually, the cap isn't invisible..." PJO Annabeth began.

"It just _makes _you invisible." Percy finished, grinning. "I know."

PJO Annabeth's heart did a little flip to see him grinning at her.

**"What am I thinking?" Chiron cried. "I can't let you get away without this."**

**He pulled a pen from his coat pocket and handed it to me. It was an ordinary disposable**

**ballpoint, black ink, removable cap. Probably cost thirty cents.**

"Remember to turn in a report on your quest." Travis reminded.

"Yeah, write the monsters to death." Connor added.

**"Gee," I said. "Thanks."**

**"Percy, that's a gift from your father. I've kept it for years, not knowing you were who I was**

**waiting for. But the prophecy is clear to me now. You are the one."**

"Isn't that from The Matrix?" Thalia asked.

"I've never watched it." Bianca said.

**I remembered the field trip to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, when I'd vaporized Mrs.**

**Dodds. Chiron had thrown me a pen that turned into a sword. Could this be ... ?**

"You think?" Annabeth asked sarcastically.

**I took off the cap, and the pen grew longer and heavier in my hand. In half a second, I held a**

**shimmering bronze sword with a double-edged blade, a leather-wrapped grip, and a flat hilt**

**riveted with gold studs. It was the first weapon that actually felt balanced in my hand.**

**"The sword has a long and tragic history that we need not go into," Chiron told me. "Its name**

**is Anaklusmos."**

"Riptide." PJO Annabeth grinned.

Artemis's face darkened as she remembered Riptide's history.

**"'Riptide,'" I translated, surprised the Ancient Greek came so easily.**

**"Use it only for emergencies," Chiron said, "and only against monsters. No hero should harm**

**mortals unless absolutely necessary, of course, but this sword wouldn't harm them in any case."**

"Define absolutely necessary." Connor laughed.

**I looked at the wickedly sharp blade. "What do you mean it wouldn't harm mortals? How**

**could it not?"**

**"The sword is celestial bronze. Forged by the Cyclopes, tempered in the heart of Mount Etna,**

**cooled in the River Lethe. It's deadly to monsters, to any creature from the Underworld, provided**

**they don't kill you first. But the blade will pass through mortals like an illusion. They simply are**

**not important enough for the blade to kill. And I should warn you: as a demigod, you can be**

**killed by either celestial or normal weapons. You are **_**twice **_**as vulnerable."**

"Fun life." Thalia muttered.

**"Good to know."**

**"Now recap the pen."**

**I touched the pen cap to the sword tip and instantly Riptide shrank to a ballpoint pen again. I**

**tucked it in my pocket, a little nervous, because I was famous for losing pens at school.**

"Loser." Travis smirked.

**"You can't," Chiron said.**

**"Can't what?"**

**"Lose the pen," he said. "It is enchanted. It will always reappear in your pocket. Try it."**

**I was wary, but I threw the pen as far as I could down the hill and watched it disappear in the**

**grass.**

**"It may take a few moments," Chiron told me. "Now check your pocket."**

**Sure enough, the pen was there.**

"Handy." Bianca commented.

**"Okay, that's **_**extremely **_**cool," I admitted. "But what if a mortal sees me pulling out a sword?"**

"They run away screaming. Or call the cops. Or..." Connor said.

Poseidon sighed. "Keep quiet. _Both_ of you. The story is entertaining enough without the two of you commenting."

"Entertaining?" Athena raised an eyebrow. "How is it entertaining?"

"Well said." Hades said.

Poseidon stared at Athena. "How is it not?" He challenged.

Athena stared for a while but said nothing.

Apollo cleared his throat awkwardly and continued reading. **(A/N: Ok, this was a bit weird. I meant to write something and I forgot. So it just ended up awkward :S )**

**Chiron smiled. "Mist is a powerful thing, Percy."**

**"Mist?"**

**"Yes. Read **_**The Iliad. **_**It's full of references to the stuff. Whenever divine or monstrous**

**elements mix with the mortal world, they generate Mist, which obscures the vision of humans.**

**You will see things just as they are, being a half-blood, but humans will interpret things quite**

**differently. Remarkable, really, the lengths to which humans will go to fit things into their version**

**of reality."**

"I hate _The Iliad_." Connor moaned. "I hate it."

**I put Riptide back in my pocket.**

**For the first time, the quest felt real. I was actually leaving Half-Blood Hill. I was heading**

**west with no adult supervision, no backup plan, not even a cell phone. (Chiron said cell phones**

**were traceable by monsters; if we used one, it would be worse than sending up a flare.) I had no**

**weapon stronger than a sword to fight off monsters and reach the Land of the Dead.**

"Would you like a nuke?" Annabeth asked sarcastically.

"Could nukes work against monsters?" Hephaestus wondered.

Zeus grunted. "Too dangerous. Besides, it would have to explode celestial bronze to kill them."

**"Chiron ..." I said. "When you say the gods are immortal... I mean, there was a time **_**before**_

**them, right?"**

**"Four ages before them, actually. The Time of the Titans was the Fourth Age, sometimes**

**called the Golden Age, which is definitely a misnomer. This, the time of Western civilization and**

**the rule of Zeus, is the Fifth Age."**

"What was the third? And the second? And the first?" Nico asked.

Hades shrugged. "It doesn't matter."

**"So what was it like ... before the gods?"**

**Chiron pursed his lips. "Even I am not old enough to remember that, child, but I know it was**

**a time of darkness and savagery for mortals. Kronos, the lord of the Titans, called his reign the**

**Golden Age because men lived innocent and free of all knowledge. But that was mere**

**propaganda. The Titan king cared nothing for your kind except as appetizers or a source of cheap**

**entertainment. It was only in the early reign of Lord Zeus, when Prometheus the good Titan**

**brought fire to mankind, that your species began to progress, and even then Prometheus was**

**branded a radical thinker. Zeus punished him severely, as you may recall. Of course, eventually**

**the gods warmed to humans, and Western civilization was born."**

"Appetizers?" Thalia looked a little queasy.

"Omnomnom." Connor joked.

**"But the gods can't die now, right? I mean, as long as Western civilization is alive, they're**

**alive. So ... even if I failed, nothing could happen so bad it would mess up **_**everything, **_**right?"**

"You never know." Travis said spookily.

**Chiron gave me a melancholy smile. "No one knows how long the Age of the West will last,**

**Percy. The gods are immortal, yes. But then, so were the Titans. **_**They **_**still exist, locked away in**

**their various prisons, forced to endure endless pain and punishment, reduced in power, but still**

**very much alive. May the Fates forbid that the gods should ever suffer such a doom, or that we**

**should ever return to the darkness and chaos of the past. All we can do, child, is follow our**

**destiny."**

"He sounds like Dumbledore." Travis said suddenly.

"All he needs is the beard." Thalia agreed.

**"Our destiny ... assuming we know what that is."**

**"Relax," Chiron told me. "Keep a clear head. And remember, you may be about to prevent**

**the biggest war in human history."**

"No pressure." Apollo winked.

**"Relax," I said. "I'm very relaxed."**

**When I got to the bottom of the hill, I looked back. Under the pine tree that used to be Thalia,**

**daughter of Zeus, Chiron was now standing in full horse-man form, holding his bow high in**

**salute. Just your typical summer-camp send-off by your typical centaur.**

"Typical centaur?"Athena asked.

"That was a joke." Poseidon explained, snorting.

Athena bristled. "Yes, I knew that. I just..."

"I didn't think you did." Poseidon said satisfactorily.

Athena glared at him. "I didn't know you could think."

"Burn." Connor murmured.

Thalia and Percy looked exasperated.

Apollo took advantage of the pause to carry on reading.

**Argus drove us out of the countryside and into western Long Island. It felt weird to be on a**

**highway again, Annabeth and Grover sitting next to me as if we were normal carpoolers. After**

**two weeks at Half-Blood Hill, the real world seemed like a fantasy. I found myself staring at**

**every McDonald's, every kid in the back of his parents' car, every billboard and shopping mall.**

"I like McDonald's." PJO Annabeth grinned. "Percy, remember when we went to..." She trailed off as she remembered whom Percy was.

Percy stared at the floor awkwardly.

**"So far so good," I told Annabeth. "Ten miles and not a single monster."**

**She gave me an irritated look. "It's bad luck to talk that way, seaweed brain."**

"Seaweed brain." Travis smirked.

Poseidon didn't look happy with that nickname.

**"Remind me again—why do you hate me so much?"**

**"I don't hate you."**

"Oh, really?" Thalia smirked.

PJO Annabeth rolled her eyes. "I don't hate him." _"I'm his girlfriend."_ She added silently.

Thalia caught the implication and fell silent.

**"Could've fooled me."**

**She folded her cap of invisibility. "Look ... we're just not supposed to get along, okay? Our**

**parents are rivals."**

"And I wonder why." Poseidon murmured.

"Are you still sore about Athens?" Athena smirked.

"Are you still sore about Odysseus?" Poseidon shot back.

**"Why?"**

**She sighed. "How many reasons do you want? One time my mom caught Poseidon with his**

**girlfriend in Athena's temple, which is **_**hugely **_**disrespectful. Another time, Athena and Poseidon**

**competed to be the patron god for the city of Athens. Your dad created some stupid saltwater**

**spring for his gift. My mom created the olive tree. The people saw that her gift was better, so they**

**named the city after her."**

"Stupid saltwater spring?" Poseidon raised his eyebrows.

"Well said." Athena beamed at Annabeth.

**"They must really like olives."**

Poseidon snorted. "Well said."

**"Oh, forget it."**

**"Now, if she'd invented pizza—**_**that **_**I could understand."**

"Hey!" Travis looked offended. "That'd be our Nico!"

Nico resigned himself to the fact that he would always be known as 'The pizza boy'.

Poseidon smirked.

**"I said, forget it!"**

**In the front seat, Argus smiled. He didn't say anything, but one blue eye on the back of his**

**neck winked at me.**

**Traffic slowed us down in Queens. By the time we got into Manhattan it was sunset and**

**starting to rain.**

**Argus dropped us at the Greyhound Station on the Upper East Side, not far from my mom**

**and Gabe's apartment. Taped to a mailbox was a soggy flyer with my picture on it: HAVE YOU**

**SEEN THIS BOY?**

Connor smirked.

**I ripped it down before Annabeth and Grover could notice.**

**Argus unloaded our bags, made sure we got our bus tickets, then drove away, the eye on the**

**back of his hand opening to watch us as he pulled out of the parking lot.**

"That is scary." Bianca shuddered.

**I thought about how close I was to my old apartment. On a normal day, my mom would be**

**home from the candy store by now. Smelly Gabe was probably up there right now, playing poker,**

**not even missing her.**

Percy clenched his fists. Even though this wasn't true, he couldn't help but feel protective of his "mortal mother". Gabe was also a really annoying character.

**Grover shouldered his backpack. He gazed down the street in the direction I was looking.**

**"You want to know why she married him, Percy?"**

**I stared at him. "Were you reading my mind or something?"**

"What's it called?" Connor interrupted. "From Harry Potter?"

"Legilimency?" PJO Annabeth asked.

Connor grinned. "Yeah! That."

**"Just your emotions." He shrugged. "Guess I forgot to tell you satyrs can do that. You were**

**thinking about your mom and your stepdad, right?"**

"They can do that?" Thalia asked. "I never knew that."

**I nodded, wondering what else Grover might've forgotten to tell me.**

**"Your mom married Gabe for **_**you," **_**Grover told me. "You call him 'Smelly,' but you've got no**

**idea. The guy has this aura…. Yuck. I can smell him from here. I can smell traces of him on you,**

**and you haven't been near him for a week."**

"He must really smell." Poseidon commented. "To have an aura that bad."

"You don't say." Athena rolled her eyes.

**"Thanks," I said. "Where's the nearest shower?"**

**"You should be grateful, Percy. Your stepfather smells so repulsively human he could mask**

**the presence of any demigod. As soon as I took a whiff inside his Camaro, I knew: Gabe has been**

**covering your scent for years. If you hadn't lived with him every summer, you probably would've**

**been found by monsters a long time ago. Your mom stayed with him to protect you. She was a**

**smart lady. She must've loved you a lot to put up with that guy—if that makes you feel any**

**better."**

"Aw." Aphrodite crooned. "That's sweet."

Sally blushed.

**It didn't, but I forced myself not to show it. I'll see her again, I thought. She isn't gone.**

**I wondered if Grover could still read my emotions, mixed up as they were. I was glad he and**

**Annabeth were with me, but I felt guilty that I hadn't been straight with them. I hadn't told them**

**the real reason I'd said yes to this crazy quest.**

"It _was_ pretty obvious." PJO Annabeth grinned.

**The truth was, I didn't care about retrieving Zeus's lightning bolt, or saving the world, or even**

**helping my father out of trouble. The more I thought about it, I resented Poseidon for never**

**visiting me, never helping my mom, never even sending a lousy child-support check. He'd only**

**claimed me because he needed a job done.**

"Child-support check?" Poseidon asked.

"I wonder why my children never resent me." Athena murmured loud enough for Poseidon to hear.

Before Poseidon could reply angrily, Apollo barrelled on.

**All I cared about was my mom. Hades had taken her unfairly, and Hades was going to give**

**her back.**

Hades snorted.

_**You will be betrayed by one who calls you a friend, **_**the Oracle whispered in my mind. **_**You**_

_**will fail to save what matters most in the end.**_

_**Shut up, **_**I told it.**

"Percy's hearing voices" Connor said in a hushed voice. "Where's that straitjacket?"

**The rain kept coming down.**

**We got restless waiting for the bus and decided to play some Hacky Sack with one of**

**Grover's apples. Annabeth was unbelievable. She could bounce the apple off her knee, her elbow,**

**her shoulder, whatever. I wasn't too bad myself.**

**The ****game ended when I tossed the apple toward Grover and it got too close to his mouth. In**

**one mega goat bite, our Hacky Sack disappeared—core, stem, and all.**

Everyone burst out laughing.

"Grover hungry." Travis joked. "Grover want foooood."

**Grover blushed. He tried to apologize, but Annabeth and I were too busy cracking up.**

**Finally the bus came. As we stood in line to board, Grover started looking around, sniffing**

**the air like he smelled his favorite school cafeteria delicacy—enchiladas.**

"I love Mexican food." Thalia said wistfully.

"I know right?" Connor agreed. "Taco Bell forever."

**"What is it?" I asked.**

**"I don't know," he said tensely. "Maybe it's nothing."**

"Maybe it's a Taco." Travis grinned.

**But I could tell it wasn't nothing. I started looking over my shoulder, too.**

**I was relieved when we finally got on board and found seats together in the back of the bus.**

**We stowed our backpacks. Annabeth kept slapping her Yankees cap nervously against her thigh.**

**As the last passengers got on, Annabeth clamped her hand onto my knee. "Percy."**

**An old lady had just boarded the bus. She wore a crumpled velvet dress, lace gloves, and a**

**shapeless orange-knit hat that shadowed her face, and she carried a big paisley purse. When she**

**tilted her head up, her black eyes glittered, and my heart skipped a beat.**

"Taco in disguise!" Connor laughed.

"It's not that funny." Athena said irritatedly.

Poseidon snorted. "You have no sense of humour."

Athena's eyes flashed.

**It was Mrs. Dodds. Older, more withered, but definitely the same evil face.**

**I scrunched down in my seat.**

**Behind her came two more old ladies: one in a green hat, one in a purple hat. Otherwise they**

**looked exactly like Mrs. Dodds—same gnarled hands, paisley handbags, wrinkled velvet dresses.**

"What's paisley?" Bianca asked curiously.

"Some kind of vegetable." Nico said.

"No, that's parsley." Thalia smirked.

Annabeth frowned. "I thought it was parsnip, not parsley."

Travis laughed. "We sound like Jack Sparrow. Parsnip, parsley... Parley!"

"There should be a captain in that somewhere." Apollo winked, before he continued.

**Triplet demon grandmothers.**

**They sat in the front row, right behind the driver. The two on the aisle crossed their legs over**

**the walkway, making an X. It was casual enough, but it sent a clear message: nobody leaves.**

**The bus pulled out of the station, and we headed through the slick streets of Manhattan. "She**

**didn't stay dead long," I said, trying to keep my voice from quivering. "I thought you said they**

**could be dispelled for a lifetime."**

**"I said if you're **_**lucky**_**," Annabeth said. "You're obviously not."**

Sniggers.

"Poor Percy." Connor said mockingly.

**"All three of them," Grover whimpered. **_**"Di immortales!"**_

**"It's okay," Annabeth said, obviously thinking hard. "The Furies. The three worst monsters**

**from the Underworld. No problem. No problem. We'll just slip out the windows."**

**"They don't open," Grover moaned.**

PJO Annabeth sighed. "We always got all the bad luck."

"You have my sympathy." Nico said, remembering what the Furies were like.

**"A back exit?" she suggested.**

**There wasn't one. Even if there had been, it wouldn't have helped. By that time, we were on**

**Ninth Avenue, heading for the Lincoln Tunnel.**

**"They won't attack us with witnesses around," I said. "Will they?"**

"Think again." Nico muttered.

**"Mortals don't have good eyes," Annabeth reminded me. "Their brains can only process what**

**they see through the Mist."**

**"They'll see three old ladies killing us, won't they?"**

Travis snorted.

**She thought about it. "Hard to say. But we can't count on mortals for help. Maybe an**

**emergency exit in the roof ... ?"**

"Why would there be one in the roof?" Percy wondered.

**We hit the Lincoln Tunnel, and the bus went dark except for the running lights down the**

**aisle. It was eerily quiet without the sound of the rain.**

**Mrs. Dodds got up. In a flat voice, as if she'd rehearsed it, she announced to the whole bus: "I**

**need to use the rest-room."**

**"So do I," said the second sister.**

**"So do I," said the third sister.**

"They have restrooms in buses?" Athena asked. "That's odd."

**They all started coming down the aisle.**

**"I've got it," Annabeth said. "Percy, take my hat."**

"I take my hat off to you, sir." Connor bowed.

**"What?"**

**"You're the one they want. Turn invisible and go up the aisle. Let them pass you. Maybe you**

**can get to the front and get away."**

**"But you guys—"**

**"There's an outside chance they might not notice us," Annabeth said. "You're a son of one of**

**the Big Three. Your smell might be overpowering."**

"Percy, you stink!" Travis laughed.

**"I can't just leave you."**

**"Don't worry about us," Grover said. "Go!"**

**My hands trembled. I felt like a coward, but I took the Yankees cap and put it on.**

"Coward." Ares sneered.

**When I looked down, my body wasn't there anymore.**

**I started creeping up the aisle. I managed to get up ten rows, then duck into an empty seat just**

**as the Furies walked past.**

**Mrs. Dodds stopped, sniffing, and looked straight at me. My heart was pounding.**

**Apparently she didn't see anything. She and her sisters kept going.**

"The cap even works on Furies?" Percy asked jealously. "Mother, I want one."

Athena smiled tolerantly. Poseidon snorted.

**I was free. I made it to the front of the bus. We were almost through the Lincoln Tunnel now.**

**I was about to press the emergency stop button when I heard hideous wailing from the back row.**

**The old ladies were not old ladies anymore. Their faces were still the same—I guess those**

**couldn't get any uglier— but their bodies had shriveled into leathery brown hag bodies with bat's**

**wings and hands and feet like gargoyle claws. Their handbags had turned into fiery whips.**

"Evil vegetable handbags." Bianca winked.

**The Furies surrounded Grover and Annabeth, lashing their whips, hissing: "Where is it?**

**Where?"**

**The other people on the bus were screaming, cowering in their seats. They saw **_**something, **_**all**

**right.**

**"He's not here!" Annabeth yelled. "He's gone!"**

**The Furies raised their whips.**

**Annabeth drew her bronze knife. Grover grabbed a tin can from his snack bag and prepared**

**to throw it.**

"That's helpful." Poseidon commented.

"It could be." Athena smirked uncharacteristically. "You never know."

**What I did next was so impulsive and dangerous I should've been named ADHD poster child**

**of the year.**

"Oh, Percy." Travis shook his head. "You _are_ ADHD poster child of the year."

Connor blew kisses to an imaginary audience.

**The bus driver was distracted, trying to see what was going on in his rearview mirror.**

**Still invisible, I grabbed the wheel from him and jerked it to the left. Everybody howled as**

**they were thrown to the right, and I heard what I hoped was the sound of three Furies smashing**

**against the windows.**

Everyone laughed.

"Percy, that was... crazy!" Thalia laughed.

"So _that's_ what you did." PJO Annabeth smiled.

**"Hey!" the driver yelled. "Hey—whoa!"**

**We wrestled for the wheel. The bus slammed against the side of the tunnel, grinding metal,**

**throwing sparks a mile behind us.**

Nico winced. "You're mad, Percy."

**We careened out of the Lincoln Tunnel and back into the rainstorm, people and monsters**

**tossed around the bus, cars plowed aside like bowling pins.**

"Any more great ideas?" Annabeth asked sarcastically.

**Somehow the driver found an exit. We shot off the highway, through half a dozen traffic**

**lights, and ended up barreling down one of those New Jersey rural roads where you can't believe**

**there's so much nothing right across the river from New York. There were woods to our left, the**

**Hudson River to our right, and the driver seemed to be veering toward the river.**

"I can't believe I was actually in that bus when all of that happened." PJO Annabeth muttered.

Thalia smiled at her tentatively.

**Another great idea: I hit the emergency brake.**

"Great idea." Connor smirked.

**The bus wailed, spun a full circle on the wet asphalt, and crashed into the trees. The**

**emergency lights came on. The door flew open. The bus driver was the first one out, the**

**passengers yelling as they stampeded after him. I stepped into the driver's seat and let them pass.**

**The Furies regained their balance. They lashed their whips at Annabeth while she waved her**

**knife and yelled in Ancient Greek, telling them to back off. Grover threw tin cans.**

"Oh, the horror of tin cans." Travis commented.

"They could be useful." Poseidon smirked at Athena.

**I looked at the open doorway. I was free to go, but I couldn't leave my friends. I took off the**

**invisible cap. "Hey!"**

"Not such a coward now, is he?" Hermes smiled at Ares.

**The Furies turned, baring their yellow fangs at me, and the exit suddenly seemed like an**

**excellent idea. Mrs. Dodds stalked up the aisle, just as she used to do in class, about to deliver my**

**F- math test. Every time she flicked her whip, red flames danced along the barbed leather.**

"I'm pretty sure she didn't use a whip in class." Connor grinned.

**Her two ugly sisters hopped on top of the seats on either side of her and crawled toward me**

**like huge nasty lizards.**

"They do look like lizards." Nico was struck by a thought.

**"Perseus Jackson," Mrs. Dodds said, in an accent that was definitely from somewhere farther**

**south than Georgia. "You have offended the gods. You shall die."**

"That was straightforward." Thalia murmured.

**"I liked you better as a math teacher," I told her.**

**She growled.**

"Maybe _all_ math teachers are monsters!" Travis said, shocked.

"That explains a lot." Connor nodded wisely.

**Annabeth and Grover moved up behind the Furies cautiously, looking for an opening.**

**I took the ballpoint pen out of my pocket and uncapped it. Riptide elongated into a**

**shimmering double-edged sword.**

**The Furies hesitated.**

**Mrs. Dodds had felt Riptide's blade before. She obviously didn't like seeing it again.**

"She had?" Percy asked curiously.

"Long story." Hermes assured him.

**"Submit now," she hissed. "And you will not suffer eternal torment."**

**"Nice try," I told her.**

**"Percy, look out!" Annabeth cried.**

**Mrs. Dodds lashed her whip around my sword hand while the Furies on the either side lunged**

**at me.**

"All three Furies at once." Bianca winced. "Ouch."

**My hand felt like it was wrapped in molten lead, but I managed not to drop Riptide. I stuck**

**the Fury on the left with its hilt, sending her toppling backward into a seat. I turned and sliced the**

**Fury on the right. As soon as the blade connected with her neck, she screamed and exploded into**

**dust. Annabeth got Mrs. Dodds in a wrestler's hold and yanked her backward while Grover ripped**

**the whip out of her hands.**

**"Ow!" he yelled. "Ow! Hot! Hot!"**

"Obviously." Athena said patronisingly. "It's not just _any_ normal whip."

Poseidon sighed. "Yes, we all know how smart you are."

**The Fury I'd hilt-slammed came at me again, talons ready, but I swung Riptide and she broke**

**open like a piñata.**

A few people winced at that description.

**Mrs. Dodds was trying to get Annabeth off her back. She kicked, clawed, hissed and bit, but**

**Annabeth held on while Grover got Mrs. Dodds's legs tied up in her own whip. Finally they both**

**shoved her backward into the aisle. Mrs. Dodds tried to get up, but she didn't have room to flap**

**her bat wings, so she kept falling down.**

Connor laughed.

**"Zeus will destroy you!" she promised. "Hades will have your soul!"**

_**"Braccas meas vescimini!" **_**I yelled.**

"Eat my pants." PJO Annabeth translated, grinning.

**I wasn't sure where the Latin came from. I think it meant "Eat my pants!"**

"Latin?" Athena looked around the room.

Poseidon caught her eye nervously. Would the Roman counterparts of the gods be revealed?

**Thunder shook the bus. The hair rose on the back of my neck.**

**"Get out!" Annabeth yelled at me. "Now!" I didn't need any encouragement.**

"I bet you didn't." Thalia grinned.

**We rushed outside and found the other passengers wandering around in a daze, arguing with**

**the driver, or running around in circles yelling, "We're going to die!" A Hawaiian-shirted tourist**

**with a camera snapped my photograph before I could recap my sword.**

Travis grinned. "Percy, you celebrity."

"May I have your autograph?" Connor mimicked.

**"Our bags!" Grover realized. "We left our—"**

_**BOOOOOM!**_

"Explooooosion!" Travis said happily.

Poseidon rolled his eyes. He wasn't the only one who did.

**The windows of the bus exploded as the passengers ran for cover. Lightning shredded a huge**

**crater in the roof, but an angry wail from inside told me Mrs. Dodds was not yet dead.**

"The bus just exploded and she survived?" Travis asked, awed. "Respect!"

Connor nodded.

**"Run!" Annabeth said. "She's calling for reinforcements! We have to get out of here!"**

**We plunged into the woods as the rain poured down, the bus in flames behind us, and nothing**

**but darkness ahead.**

"And... it's over." Apollo announced.

"The book?" Hades asked, immediately interested.

Apollo shook his head. "Just the chapter."

Hades settled back, disappointed.

"Here, sis, you can read."

"No, thank you." Artemis said, annoyed. "And don't call me sis!"

"Any volunteers?" Apollo brandished the book. "Ah, Annabeth!"

PJO Annabeth and Annabeth looked at him in confusion.

"No, um, you." Apollo pointed at PJO Annabeth.

"Okay." She said hesitantly, taking the book from Apollo.

Athena surveyed her with a bit of pride.

PJO Annabeth flipped through the pages nervously.

**Et, le voila! The chapter's done, yay :S I will try updating more regularly, I'm so terribly sorry. I started this yesterday evening :P **

**And I'm worried that my characters are OOC; they just seem so OOC. PLEASE let me know if that's true. And how I can change it. PLEASE.**

**Anyways, review please! I shall love you forever if you do!**


	12. AN: DON'T KILL ME

**I'll cut to the chase.**

**_I'm sorry. We both are._**

**I know most of you must be raging at us and honestly, I don't blame you. We've had WAY too much going on and I've not been able to cope with all the stress x_x But getting out of writing is one of the worst choices I _ever_ made. It took me a while to realise that, but now that I know that writing is the one thing I really, truly love, I know I'll never go on hiatus like this again.**

**So leave me some hate and rant all you want. I perfectly understand.**

**And I'm so so sorry for getting your hopes up. But I'm losing this story. I need to get back in touch with writing, so I'd like to start out with my other fanfictions, which are relatively easier to write.**

**They're less time consuming.**

**And I can mess with the other stories as I please. This fanfiction is basically about the character's reactions to the books that they're reading. So the real problem is figuring out which character should react when, and how, and what effect that has on the other characters**

**In this particular fanfiction, I don't get to choose what they react to. So it's much harder for me to write. But in the other fanfictions, I can base my events on what I want their reactions to be**

**If that makes any sense**

**I am _not _giving up on this. Don't get me wrong.**

**I'd just like to get back into writing until I feel I've got the hang of it.**

**I am, so, _SO, sorry for making you wait for _AGES.**

**But believe me when I say nobody regrets this more than I do.**

**And this story will be continued. Honest.**

**Off to update my other stories xD**

**(Hopefully you won't have to wait too long for an update this time!)**


	13. One Big Happy Family

**OKAY I HAVE DECIDED TO GIVE THIS A GO**

***prays that this will turn out better***

**I'm so sorry I don't have time to reply to your reviews, but it means a LOT to me that you understand and that you're all so patient! :D Feel free to message me if you have any questions!**

**Enough stalling; you've been waiting too long xD**

* * *

><p><em>One Big Happy Family<em>

PJO Annabeth fumbled with the pages "We visit the Garden Gnome Emporium."

"I _hate_ garden gnomes." Bianca said. "They scare me."

Nico smirked. "Remember that time you thought the garden gnome was a monster?"

Everyone laughed at that, and even Hades managed to crack a smile. Surprisingly, Demeter was not amused.

"Garden gnomes enrich th-" Demeter began, but Zeus crackled his lightning bolt.

Annabeth leaned in to whisper to Bianca. "Maybe we should count the number of times Zeus does that."

Bianca smirked.

**In a way, it's nice to know there are Greek gods out there, because you have somebody to blame when things go wrong.**

"That isn't always true." Aphrodite muttered.

** For instance, when you're walking away from a bus that's just been attacked by monster hags and blown up by lightning, and it's raining on top of everything else, most people might think that's just really bad luck; when you're a half-blood, you understand that some divine force really is trying to mess up your day.**

"Some divine force being your father?" Thalia murmured to Annabeth.

"In this case." Annabeth snorted.

Zeus glared at her, but said nothing. He had a soft spot where Annabeth was concerned.

**So there we were, Annabeth and Grover and I, walking through the woods along the New Jersey riverbank, the glow of New York City making the night sky yellow behind us, and the smell of the Hudson reeking in our noses.**

"What's a Hudson?" Nico asked.

"The bus." Bianca rolled her eyes. "Really, Nico."

"_Really, Nico._" Nico mimicked to Percy, not wanting to anger Bianca. Next to him, PJO Annabeth hid a smile and continued.

**Grover was shivering and braying, his big goat eyes turned slit-pupiled and full of terror.**

"Satyrs bray?" Percy asked, a little surprised.

PJO Annabeth smiled. "You'd be surprised."

**"Three Kindly Ones. All three at once."**

"That's just really bad luck." Apollo said sympathetically.

Hades forced a straight face.

**I was pretty much in shock myself. The explosion of bus windows still rang in my ears. But Annabeth kept pulling us along, saying: "Come on! The farther away we get, the better."**

**"All our money was back there," I reminded her. "Our food and clothes. Everything."**

Connor dramatically clutched his heart in feigned dismay.

**"Well, maybe if you hadn't decided to jump into the fight—"**

"Percy jumping into a fight." Thalia grinned. "That's got to be a first."

"Think before you act." Annabeth rolled her eyes, causing Thalia and Percy to burst into laughter.

"I'll explain later." Annabeth promised a confused Bianca. **(AN: I'll explain this bit at the end of the chapter)**

**"What did you want me to do? Let you get killed?"**

**"You didn't need to protect me, Percy. I would've been fine."**

"Remind you of anyone?" Annabeth teased Percy. **(AN: Sorry to interrupt, but I feel like Sally isn't doing anything, because I think she'd be feeling too awkward to join in the banter. So, um, you probably won't see much Sally, but I'm trying to have as many characters as possible talk)**

Percy shook his head mockingly.

**"Sliced like sandwich bread," Grover put in, "but fine."**

"He sounds hungry." Travis commented.

**"Shut up, goat boy," said Annabeth.**

**Grover brayed mournfully. "Tin cans ... a perfectly good bag of tin cans."**

"Still not over the fact that satyrs eat tin cans." Bianca whispered to Annabeth.

"We lost count!" Annabeth replied mournfully, gesturing towards Dionysus, who was drinking what was possibly his fiftieth drink.

**We sloshed across mushy ground, through nasty twisted trees that smelled like sour laundry.**

"What is sour laundry supposed to mean?" Hermes wondered out loud.

"Apollo could tell you in a haiku." Artemis said sarcastically.

Apollo brightened. "As a matter of fact-"

"No!" Half of the gods in the room said simultaneously.

**After a few minutes, Annabeth fell into line next to me. "Look, I..." Her voice faltered. "I appreciate your coming back for us, okay? That was really brave." "We're a team, right?"**

"Does this remind anyone of that scene from Avatar?" Travis asked excitedly.

"Team Boomer-_Aang_?" Connor suggested.

"Yeah but, this would be... Team..." Travis paused trying to think of a witty retort. **(AN: I can't come up with one xD What about you guys?)**

PJO Annabeth gave them a second. "I'll just... keep reading."

**She was silent for a few more steps. "It's just that if you died ... aside from the fact that it would really suck for you, it would mean the quest was over. This may be my only chance to see the real world."**

"Nice to know you care so much." Percy laughed.

**The thunderstorm had finally let up. The city glow faded behind us, leaving us in almost total darkness. I couldn't see anything of Annabeth except a glint of her blond hair.**

**"You haven't left Camp Half-Blood since you were seven?" I asked her.**

"It's kind of like how in Harry Potter-" Connor began, but Travis silenced him, gesturing at Zeus, who was literally fuming.

**"No ... only short field trips. My dad—"**

**"The history professor."**

"History professor?" Nico asked.

"Well, you obviously weren't paying attention." Bianca chided.

Nico scowled.

"It's a good thing they're not sitting next to each other." Percy murmured to Thalia. Nico heard him and couldn't help smiling.

**"Yeah. It didn't work out for me living at home. I mean, Camp Half-Blood is my home."**

"It's like in Harry Potter- 'Hogwarts is my home'." Annabeth said a little wistfully.

"Yeah, they have that in every book or tv show." Travis rolled my eyes. "Like the car in Supernatural."

"Can you blame them?" Annabeth asked.

"It gives people hope." Athena said. "That maybe they will find a place that is their home, just like fictional characters have."

Nobody could really argue with that, and that statement created a more solemn atmosphere.

** She was rushing her words out now, as if she were afraid somebody might try to stop her. "At camp you train and train. And that's all cool and everything, but the real world is where the monsters are. That's where you learn whether you're any good or not."**

**If I didn't know better, I could've sworn I heard doubt in her voice.**

This was usually the point where Connor or Travis would crack a joke, but apparently Athena had managed to silence them. For a while, at least.

**"You're pretty good with that knife," I said.**

**"You think so?"**

"She can show you." Travis sniggered.

"Here, hold my knife." Connor mimed sticking a knife into Travis

**"Anybody who can piggyback-ride a Fury is okay by me."**

"Now _that's_ a first" Thalia said, grinning appreciatively at PJO Annabeth.

PJO Annabeth squashed her jealousy and smiled back tentatively.

**I couldn't really see, but I thought she might've smiled.**

**"You know," she said, "maybe I should tell you ... Something funny back on the bus ..."**

"Is Annabeth offering to tell a joke?" Travis was shocked.

Thalia fought hard to contain her giggles as Annabeth glared.

**Whatever she wanted to say was interrupted by a shrill toot-toot-toot, like the sound of an owl being tortured.**

Percy winced.

**"Hey, my reed pipes still work!" Grover cried. "If I could just remember a 'find path' song, we could get out of these woods!" He puffed out a few notes, but the tune still sounded suspiciously like Hilary Duff.**

Bianca laughed."I remember Grover's reed pipes."

PJO Annabeth laughed with her. "I think he could also play a 'Meerkat Love' song."

"Some kind of animal." Bianca agreed.

"Why?" Connor shook his head sadly.

**Instead of finding a path, I immediately slammed into a tree and got a nice-size knot on my head. Add to the list of superpowers I did not have: infrared vision.**

"Only Percy could walk straight into a tree." Nico smirked.

**After tripping and cursing and generally feeling miserable for another mile or so, I started to see light up ahead: the colors of a neon sign. I could smell food. Fried, greasy, excellent food. I realized I hadn't eaten anything unhealthy since I'd arrived at Half-Blood Hill, where we lived on grapes, bread, cheese, and extra-lean-cut nymph-prepared barbecue. This boy needed a double cheeseburger.**

"I think unhealthy food is actually good for you-" Nico began.

"Unhealthy food is _always_ good for you." Travis said solemnly.

"And stolen food?" Thalia asked drily.

Travis winked. "Even better."

**We kept walking until I saw a deserted two-lane road through the trees. On the other side was a closed-down gas station, a tattered billboard for a 1990s movie, and one open business, which was the source of the neon light and the good smell.**

"Why is the light so bright?" Connor mimicked. "All the better to see you with, my dear."

Travis smacked his lips threateningly.

**It wasn't a fast-food restaurant like I'd hoped. It was one of those weird roadside curio shops that sell lawn flamingos and wooden Indians and cement grizzly bears and stuff like that.**

"Why would anyone want a cement grizzly bear?" Bianca asked.

"Why would anyone want lawn flamingos?" Nico replied.

Bianca flushed.

** The main building was a long, low warehouse, surrounded by acres of statuary. The neon sign above the gate was impossible for me to read, because if there's anything worse for my dyslexia than regular English, it's red cursive neon English.**

"Try fluorescent pink." PJO Annabeth shuddered. "_Much_ worse."

Nico nodded his agreement.

**To me, it looked like: **ATNYU MES GDERAN GOMEN MEPROUIM.****

**"What the heck does that say?" I asked.**

"Language, Percy." Thalia chuckled.

**"I don't know," Annabeth said.**

**She loved reading so much, I'd forgotten she was dyslexic, too.**

**Grover translated: "Aunty Em's Garden Gnome Emporium."**

"Which is why you should always take a satyr with you on a quest." Bianca smiled fondly.

Nico sighed dramatically.

PJO Annabeth quickly continued before Bianca and Nico could resume their bickering.

**Flanking the entrance, as advertised, were two cement garden gnomes, ugly bearded little runts, smiling and waving, as if they were about to get their picture taken.**

"Why is everything in cement?" Aphrodite wondered.

Suddenly Percy started and mouthed a silent 'oh'. PJO Annabeth hid a smile at how quickly Percy had figured it out.

**I crossed the street, following the smell of the hamburgers.**

Connor opened his mouth to sing 'Follow the Yellow Brick Road' before he realised that he didn't know the lyrics.

**"Hey ..." Grover warned.**

**"The lights are on inside," Annabeth said. "Maybe it's open."**

**"Snack bar," I said wistfully.**

**"Snack bar," she agreed. **

"You know, it's probably not very safe." Hephaestus rumbled.

"If the kid's as good as he says, then it shouldn't be a problem, should it?" Ares snorted.

**"Are you two crazy?" Grover said. "This place is weird." **

"It's good to see that at least the satyr has some sense." Athena was a little peeved, also having realised the truth about "Aunty Em".

**We ignored him. **

Annabeth couldn't help laughing. "Why am I not surprised?"

**The front lot was a forest of statues: cement animals, cement children, even a cement satyr playing the pipes, which gave Grover the creeps. **

"I hate cement." Percy winced.

"Percy Jackson and the Murderous Cement." Thalia joked.

"That wasn't very funny." Percy said.

Annabeth hurriedly turned her snort into a cough.

**"Bla-ha-ha!" he bleated. "Looks like my Uncle Ferdinand!"**

**We stopped at the warehouse door. **

**"Don't knock," Grover pleaded. "I smell monsters." **

"What do monsters smell like to satyrs?" Bianca asked.

"You smell like food to us." Hades said.

There was an awkward silence.

"Brother..." Poseidon inquired. "Was that... a joke?"

Hades grumbled, while Demeter watched gleefully.

**"Your nose is clogged up from the Furies," Annabeth told him. "All I smell is burgers. Aren't you hungry?" **

"Those burgers must smell really good." Thalia said a little wistfully.

**"Meat!" he said scornfully. "I'm a vegetarian."**

**"You eat cheese enchiladas and aluminum cans," I reminded him. "Those are vegetables. Come on. Let's leave. These statues are ... looking at me." **

"Cheese enchiladas and aluminum cans are not vegetables." Athena pointed out disapprovingly.

Percy shrugged nonchalantly.

**Then the door creaked open, and standing in front of us was a tall Middle Eastern woman—at least, I assumed she was Middle Eastern, because she wore a long black gown that covered everything but her hands, and her head was completely veiled. Her eyes glinted behind a curtain of black gauze, but that was about all I could make out. Her coffee-colored hands looked old, but well-manicured and elegant, so I imagined she was a grandmother who had once been a beautiful lady. **

"Oh!" Thalia exclaimed, being the next to realise what was about to happen.

**Her accent sounded vaguely Middle Eastern, too. She said, "Children, it is too late to be out all alone. Where are your parents?"**

**"They're ... um ..." Annabeth started to say. **

"That's an awkward question for a demigod." Travis mused.

**"We're orphans," I said.**

**"Orphans?" the woman said. The word sounded alien in her mouth. "But, my dears! Surely not!" "We got separated from our caravan," I said. "Our circus caravan. The ringmaster told us to meet him at the gas station if we got lost, but he may have forgotten, or maybe he meant a different gas station. Anyway, we're lost. Is that food I smell?" **

Apollo raise an eyebrow. "Impressive story."

Everyone else waited with bated breath for a poem to follow, and sighed with relief when one didn't.

**"Oh, my dears," the woman said. "You must come in, poor children. I am Aunty Em. Go straight through to the back of the warehouse, please. There is a dining area." **

"A warehouse and a dining area?" Bianca asked. "What kind of an emporium is this?"

"What is an emporium" Connor asked in what was meant to be a philosophical tone.

**We thanked her and went inside.**

**Annabeth muttered to me, "Circus caravan?"**

**"Always have a strategy, right?" **

"Great strategy, Seaweed Brain." Annabeth winked.

**"Your head is full of kelp." **

PJO Annabeth smiled.

**The warehouse was filled with more statues—people in all different poses, wearing all different outfits and with different expressions on their faces. I was thinking you'd have to have a pretty huge garden to fit even one of these statues, because they were all life-size.**

"I don't understand why people want statues in their garden." Nico persisted.

"Oh, don't start." Bianca said exasperatedly.

"Stop it." Hades commanded, glaring at the two of them.

"Awkward family reunion, huh?" Annabeth muttered to an abashed Bianca.

"Tell me about it." She muttered back.

** But mostly, I was thinking about food. **

"Fooooooooooooood." Travis mimicked Grover, earning a few sniggers.

**Go ahead, call me an idiot for walking into a strange lady's shop like that just because I was hungry, but I do impulsive stuff sometimes. Plus, you've never smelled Aunty Em's burgers. The aroma was like laughing gas in the dentist's chair—it made everything else go away. I barely noticed Grover's nervous whimpers, or the way the statues' eyes seemed to follow me, or the fact that Aunty Em had locked the door behind us. **

Thalia shuddered. "I don't think I'm going to like what happens next."

"I liked it even less." PJO Annabeth assured her.

**All I cared about was finding the dining area. And sure enough, there it was at the back of the warehouse, a fast-food counter with a grill, a soda fountain, a pretzel heater, and a nacho cheese dispenser. Everything you could want, plus a few steel picnic tables out front. **

"I love nachos." Hermes said. "In fact, I always stop by at Taco Bell when I have time."

"Can gods eat mortal food?" Thalia asked Annabeth quietly.

"Best not to argue with him." She replied.

**"Please, sit down," Aunty Em said.**

**"Awesome," I said. **

Demeter sniffed. "I don't like nachos."

"You're a bit late." Hades informed her.

Regardless, Demeter plowed on. "You know what would _really_ help improve the demigods?"

"Agriculture." Hades finished for her in a monotone.

**"Um," Grover said reluctantly, "we don't have any money, ma'am." **

"No money, no food." Annabeth shook a finger at Thalia, who immediately cracked up.

Annabeth turned to explain the joke to Bianca. "We were on a quest when we found this Italian restaurant, so we stopped by to eat. And our waitress only spoke Italian, so the only thing she could say-"

"Just get on with the story." Ares interrupted, growing in impatience.

**Before I could jab him in the ribs, Aunty Em said, "No, no, children. No money. This is a special case, yes? It is my treat, for such nice orphans." **

"She's creepy." Bianca decided.

**"Thank you, ma'am," Annabeth said. Aunty Em stiffened, as if Annabeth had done something wrong, but then the old woman relaxed just as quickly, so I figured it must've been my imagination. **

**"Quite all right, Annabeth," she said. "You have such beautiful gray eyes, child." Only later did I wonder how she knew Annabeth's name, even though we had never introduced ourselves. **

"What big eyes you have!" Connor mimicked. "All the better to-"

"Stop quoting Cinderella." Travis told him.

Connor was affronted. "It's Little Red Riding Hood, thank you very much."

**Our hostess disappeared behind the snack counter and started cooking. Before we knew it, she'd brought us plastic trays heaped with double cheeseburgers, vanilla shakes, and XXL servings of French fries. **

"This is making me hungry." Nico complained.

**I was halfway through my burger before I remembered to breathe.**

**Annabeth slurped her shake.**

**Grover picked at the fries, and eyed the tray's waxed paper liner as if he might go for that, but he still looked too nervous to eat. **

"Does Grover eat anything normal?" Thalia asked, feeling a little fond of Grover.

Percy shrugged. "I don't know, but I like him." He laughed.

**"What's that hissing noise?" he asked.**

**I listened, but didn't hear anything. Annabeth shook her head.**

**"Hissing?" Aunty Em asked. "Perhaps you hear the deep-fryer oil. You have keen ears, Grover." **

"Deep-fryer oil doesn't hiss." Nico said peevishly.

Bianca sighed. "Do you have to act like _such _a-"

Annabeth nudged her warningly, as Hades watched with narrowed eyes.

**"I take vitamins. For my ears." **

"Do those even exist?" Aphrodite asked.

Apollo grinned. "Sure they do."

**"That's admirable," she said. "But please, relax."**

**Aunty Em ate nothing. She hadn't taken off her headdress, even to cook, and now she sat forward and interlaced her fingers and watched us eat.**

"That didn't seem odd to you?" Athena asked indignantly.

"Maybe he'll finally get what's coming to him." Ares snickered.

**It was a little unsettling, having someone stare at me when I couldn't see her face, but I was feeling satisfied after the burger, and a little sleepy, and I figured the least I could do was try to make small talk with our hostess. **

"You could chop her head off." Thalia suggested.

**"So, you sell gnomes," I said, trying to sound interested. **

Annabeth hid her face in her hands. "Percy, never try to make small talk."

"He isn't as bad as you around people." Thalia reminded her.

"Or Nico." Bianca added.

Nico slumped resignedly.

**"Oh, yes," Aunty Em said. "And animals. And people. Anything for the garden. Custom orders. Statuary is very popular, you know." **

**"A lot of business on this road?"**

** "Not so much, no. Since the highway was built... most cars, they do not go this way now. I must cherish every customer I get." **

"Technically this is your fault, you know." Aphrodite told Athena conversationally. By that point, everybody knew what was going on in the story.

Athena frowned. "Blame my uncle, if you will."

Poseidon scowled but said nothing.

**My neck tingled, as if somebody else was looking at me. I turned, but it was just a statue of a young girl holding an Easter basket. The detail was incredible, much better than you see in most garden statues. But something was wrong with her face. It looked as if she were startled, or even terrified. **

"Gee, I wonder why." Connor said sarcastically.

Dionysus pointed a finger at him lazily. "Enough of your commenting, Cooper. This is boring anyway."

**"Ah," Aunty Em said sadly. "You notice some of my creations do not turn out well. They are marred. They do not sell. The face is the hardest to get right. Always the face." **

"No face, no statue." Thalia teased.

**"You make these statues yourself?" I asked.**

**"Oh, yes. Once upon a time, I had two sisters to help me in the business, but they have passed on, and Aunty Em is alone. I have only my statues. This is why I make them, you see. They are my company." The sadness in her voice sounded so deep and so real that I couldn't help feeling sorry for her. **

"That's not true." Artemis pointed out. "Medusa's sisters didn't have her ability."

Hades started. "Medusa?"

Everyone stared at him in disbelief.

"I haven't been paying attention." He mumbled, scowling ferociously.

**Annabeth had stopped eating. She sat forward and said, "Two sisters?" **

"I think Annabeth finally gets it." Travis laughed, and then broke off as he realised that PJO Annabeth was sitting right next to him.

PJO Annabeth broke the awkwardness by laughing along. "Hey, the food was drugged."

**"It's a terrible story," Aunty Em said. "Not one for children, really. You see, Annabeth, a bad woman was jealous of me, long ago, when I was young. I had a... a boyfriend, you know, and this bad woman was determined to break us apart. She caused a terrible accident. My sisters stayed by me. They shared my bad fortune as long as they could, but eventually they passed on. They faded away. I alone have survived, but at a price. Such a price." **

"What happened to Medusa's sisters?" Percy asked.

"They faded." Artemis said uncomfortably, clearly not wanting to elaborate.

**I wasn't sure what she meant, but I felt bad for her. My eyelids kept getting heavier, my full stomach making me sleepy. Poor old lady. Who would want to hurt somebody so nice? **

Annabeth smirked.

**"Percy?" Annabeth was shaking me to get my attention. "Maybe we should go. I mean, the ringmaster will be waiting." **

"Of all the stories you could come up with..." Poseidon said, amused.

**She sounded tense. I wasn't sure why. Grover was eating the waxed paper off the tray now, but if Aunty Em found that strange, she didn't say anything. **

"I find that weird." Travis raised his hand.

**"Such beautiful gray eyes," Aunty Em told Annabeth again. "My, yes, it has been a long time since I've seen gray eyes like those." **

"What gray eyes you have." Nico sniggered.

"I think that was funny." Connor whispered to Travis dramatically.

**She reached out as if to stroke Annabeth's cheek, but Annabeth stood up abruptly. **

"I would too." Bianca made a face. "Have I mentioned how creepy she is?"

"Probably." Percy said.

**"We really should go." **

**"Yes!" Grover swallowed his waxed paper and stood up. "The ringmaster is waiting! Right!" **

**I didn't want to leave. I felt full and content. Aunty Em was so nice. I wanted to stay with her a while. **

"Yeah, if she has her way, you'll stay with her for a while." Nico said darkly.

**"Please, dears," Aunty Em pleaded. "I so rarely get to be with children. Before you go, won't you at least sit for a pose?" **

**"A pose?" Annabeth asked warily. **

"Like modelling?" Annabeth asked, grinning.

**"A photograph. I will use it to model a new statue set. Children are so popular, you see. ****Everyone loves children." **

"No children, no photo." Annabeth winked at Thalia.

"It's only funny the first time." Percy told them.

**Annabeth shifted her weight from foot to foot. "I don't think we can, ma'am. Come on, Percy—"**

**"Sure we can," I said. I was irritated with Annabeth for being so bossy, so rude to an old lady who'd just fed us for free. "It's just a photo, Annabeth. What's the harm?" **

"Yeah Annabeth, why are you so bossy?" Connor laughed to show that he was joking.

"She must have inherited the trait." Poseidon said pointedly.

**"Yes, Annabeth," the woman purred. "No harm."**

**I could tell Annabeth didn't like it, but she allowed Aunty Em to lead us back out the front door, into the garden of statues.**

**Aunty Em directed us to a park bench next to the stone satyr. "Now," she said, "I'll just position you correctly. The young girl in the middle, I think, and the two young gentlemen on either side." **

"She doesn't have a camera." Aphrodite remarked.

**"Not much light for a photo," I remarked.**

**"Oh, enough," Aunty Em said. "Enough for us to see each other, yes?"**

**"Where's your camera?" Grover asked. **

Aphrodite looked pleased with herself.

**Aunty Em stepped back, as if to admire the shot. "Now, the face is the most difficult. Can you smile for me please, everyone? A large smile?" **

"Can't you see something's wrong?" Thalia asked. "I mean, she doesn't have a camera."

PJO Annabeth bristled slightly. "I couldn't leave Percy, could I?"

Percy looked uncomfortable. "It wasn't me." He volunteered.

**Grover glanced at the cement satyr next to him, and mumbled, "That sure does look like Uncle Ferdinand."**

**"Grover," Aunty Em chastised, "look this way, dear." She still had no camera in her hands. **

Thalia smirked.

**"Percy—" Annabeth said.**

**Some instinct warned me to listen to Annabeth, but I was fighting the sleepy feeling, the comfortable lull that came from the food and the old lady's voice. **

"I knew the food was drugged." PJO Annabeth muttered.

**"I will just be a moment," Aunty Em said. "You know, I can't see you very well in this cursed veil..." **

"What a cursed veil you have!" Travis mocked. Everyone rolled their eyes in exasperation.

**"Percy, something's wrong," Annabeth insisted.**

**"Wrong?" Aunty Em said, reaching up to undo the wrap around her head. "Not at all, dear. I have such noble company tonight. What could be wrong?"**

**"That is Uncle Ferdinand!" Grover gasped. **

"Finally." Athena muttered.

**"Look away from her!" Annabeth shouted. She whipped her Yankees cap onto her head and vanished. Her invisible hands pushed Grover and me both off the bench. **

"Do you have your invisibility cap with you?" Nico interrupted, turning to PJO Annabeth.

PJO Annabeth's jaw dropped and she fumbled in her pockets.

"I don't!" She cried. "I must have lost it... oh, Styx."

She bit her lip before continuing.

**I was on the ground, looking at Aunt Em's sandaled feet.**

**I could hear Grover scrambling off in one direction, Annabeth in another. But I was too dazed to move. **

"Don't do drugs." Connor wagged a finger. "Or you'll- wait wrong quote."

**Then I heard a strange, rasping sound above me. My eyes rose to Aunty Em's hands, which had turned gnarled and warty, with sharp bronze talons for fingernails. **

Thalia winced, remembering her own encounter with Medusa.

**I almost looked higher, but somewhere off to my left Annabeth screamed, "No! Don't!" **

Athena hid a satisfied smile. It was always her children who saved the day, in the end.

**More rasping—the sound of tiny snakes, right above me, from ... from about where Aunty Em's head would be. **

"Have you seen the Disney movie- Hercules?" Travis interrupted.

"Yes." Annabeth and Thalia said simultaneously.

Travis nodded sagely and fell silent. Annabeth and Thalia stared at him incredulously.

**"Run!" Grover bleated. I heard him racing across the gravel, yelling, "Maia!" to kick-start his flying sneakers. **

"Why don't we get flying sneakers?" Connor complained.

Hermes rolled his eyes and said nothing.

**I couldn't move. I stared at Aunty Em's gnarled claws, and tried to fight the groggy trance the old woman had put me in.**

**"Such a pity to destroy a handsome young face," she told me soothingly. "Stay with me, Percy. All you have to do is look up." I fought the urge to obey. Instead I looked to one side and saw one of those glass spheres people put in gardens— a gazing ball. **

"Why do people put _anything_ in their garden?" Nico sighed.

"Nico!" Bianca and Hades chorused, annoyed.

** I could see Aunty Em's dark reflection in the orange glass; her headdress was gone, revealing her face as a shimmering pale circle. Her hair was moving, writhing like serpents. **

"Has anyone ever seen Medusa's face and lived? Like, maybe she wore sunglasses." Thalia suggested.

Percy shook his head. "Sunglasses wouldn't be effective enough. Besides, that's not very likely. That's like... trying to find the Underworld with a magic map."

"That would never work." Hades snorted.

**Aunty Em.**

**Aunty "M." **

"I didn't realise that bit." Poseidon murmured to himself.

**How could I have been so stupid? Think, I told myself. How did Medusa die in the myth? But I couldn't think. Something told me that in the myth Medusa had been asleep when she was attacked by my namesake, Perseus. **

"Was she?" Thalia asked. "I don't remember."

Percy opened his mouth to answer but she cut him short. "We all know you know the answer, Percy." She laughed.

**She wasn't anywhere near asleep now. If she wanted, she could take those talons right now and rake open my face. **

"Vivid image." Apollo winced.

**"The Gray-Eyed One did this to me, Percy," Medusa said, and she didn't sound anything like a monster. Her voice invited me to look up, to sympathize with a poor old grandmother. **

Poseidon struggled to hide a smirk, while Athena forced a composed expression.

**"Annabeth's mother, the cursed Athena, turned me from a beautiful woman into this." **

"Typical." Athena said. "Always blaming the gods."

**"Don't listen to her!" Annabeth's voice shouted, somewhere in the statuary. "Run, Percy!" **

**"Silence!" Medusa snarled. Then her voice modulated back to a comforting purr. "You see why I must destroy the girl, Percy. She is my enemy's daughter. I shall crush her statue to dust. ****But you, dear Percy, you need not suffer." **

"Yeah, your statue won't be crushed to dust." Thalia grumbled.

**"No," I muttered. I tried to make my legs move. **

"What was in the food?" Apollo wondered.

**"Do you really want to help the gods?" Medusa asked. "Do you understand what awaits you on this foolish quest, Percy? What will happen if you reach the Underworld? Do not be a pawn of the Olympians, my dear. You would be better off as a statue. Less pain. Less pain." **

"Now _that's_ true." Annabeth muttered, sounding slightly resentful.

**"Percy!" Behind me, I heard a buzzing sound, like a two-hundred-pound hummingbird in a nosedive. Grover yelled, "Duck!" **

"A two-hundred pound hummingbird?" Nico asked incredulously.

A few people snorted.

**I turned, and there he was in the night sky, flying in from twelve o'clock with his winged shoes fluttering, Grover, holding a tree branch the size of a baseball bat. His eyes were shut tight, his head twitched from side to side. He was navigating by ears and nose alone. **

**"Duck!" he yelled again. "I'll get her!" That finally jolted me into action. Knowing Grover, I was sure he'd miss Medusa and nail me. **

"That's not much use." Connor commented.

**I dove to one side.**

**Thwack! At first I figured it was the sound of Grover hitting a tree. **

"A cement tree?" Bianca joked.

** Then Medusa roared with rage. **

"So he doesn't always miss." Travis smirked at his brother.

**"You miserable satyr," she snarled. "I'll add you to my collection!" **

"That has got to be the weirdest threat ever." Thalia laughed, joined by Annabeth.

**"That was for Uncle Ferdinand!" Grover yelled back.**

**I scrambled away and hid in the statuary while Grover swooped down for another pass.**

**Ker-whack! "Arrgh!" Medusa yelled, her snake-hair hissing and spitting. **

"His aim isn't too bad." Connor relented.

**Right next to me, Annabeth's voice said, "Percy!"**

**I jumped so high my feet nearly cleared a garden gnome. "Jeez! Don't do that!" **

"How tall was the gnome?" Apollo asked philosophically.

Artemis sighed.

**Annabeth took off her Yankees cap and became visible. 'You have to cut her head off." **

"Or you could just leave." Nico muttered.

**"What? Are you crazy? Let's get out of here." **

Nico nodded, gratified.

**"Medusa is a menace. She's evil. I'd kill her myself, but..." Annabeth swallowed, as if she were about to make a difficult admission. "But you've got the better weapon. Besides, I'd never get close to her. She'd slice me to bits because of my mother. You—you've got a chance." **

**"What? I can't—"**

**"Look, do you want her turning more innocent people into statues?"**

**She pointed to a pair of statue lovers, a man and a woman with their arms around each other, turned to stone by the monster. **

"Why would she-" Hermes stopped in the middle of his question, shaking his head.

**Annabeth grabbed a green gazing ball from a nearby pedestal. "A polished shield would be better." She studied the sphere critically. "The convexity will cause some distortion. The reflection's size should be off by a factor of—" **

"It must be a family thing." Thalia grinned at Percy affectionately.

**"Would you speak English?" **

PJO Annabeth hid a grin.

**"I am!" She tossed me the glass ball. "Just look at her in the glass. Never look at her directly." **

"Obviously." Percy muttered.

**"Hey, guys!" Grover yelled somewhere above us. "I think she's unconscious!"**

**"Roooaaarrr!" **

"She roars?" Ares was incredulous. "_Roars_?"

**"Maybe not," Grover corrected. He went in for another pass with the tree branch.**

**"Hurry," Annabeth told me. "Grover's got a great nose, but he'll eventually crash." **

"Nose?" Annabeth wondered.

"He can't look at her, can he?" Percy clarified.

"Ohh."

**I took out my pen and uncapped it. The bronze blade of Riptide elongated in my hand.**

**I followed the hissing and spitting sounds of Medusa's hair. **

"I still think snakes for hair is a bit too much." Artemis murmured to Athena.

"Oh, I don't know." Aphrodite said thoughtfully.

**I kept my eyes locked on the gazing ball so I would only glimpse Medusa's reflection, not the real thing. Then, in the green tinted glass, I saw her. **

"What did she look like?" Hephaestus wondered.

"Better than you." Ares said unkindly.

Hephaestus's face twisted into a scowl. He was used to Ares's jibes, so he said nothing.

**Grover was coming in for another turn at bat, but this time he flew a little too low. Medusa grabbed the stick and pulled him off course. He tumbled through the air and crashed into the arms of a stone grizzly bear with a painful "Ummphh!" **

"I knew he would miss eventually." Connor said triumphantly.

**Medusa was about to lunge at him when I yelled, "Hey!" **

**I advanced on her, which wasn't easy, holding a sword and a glass ball. If she charged, I'd have a hard time defending myself. **

"At least you didn't hide somewhere, waiting for her to find you." Annabeth said.

"Now, what hero would do that?" Thalia replied with a knowing smile.

**But she let me approach—twenty feet, ten feet.**

**I could see the reflection of her face now. Surely it wasn't really that ugly. The green swirls of the gazing ball must be distorting it, making it look worse. **

Poseidon snorted loudly, causing Athena to stiffen.

**"You wouldn't harm an old woman, Percy," she crooned. "I know you wouldn't." **

"How old is she?" Apollo asked conversationally.

"Does it matter?" Dionysus replied, as bored as ever.

**I hesitated, fascinated by the face I saw reflected in the glass—the eyes that seemed to burn straight through the green tint, making my arms go weak. **

**From the cement grizzly, Grover moaned, "Percy, don't listen to her!" **

"He's still conscious?" Hermes was genuinely surprised. "Some kid."

**Medusa cackled. "Too late."**

**She lunged at me with her talons. I slashed up with my sword, heard a sickening shlock!, then a hiss like wind rushing out of a cavern—the sound of a monster disintegrating. **

"Shlock?" PJO Annabeth was trying not to laugh.

Percy was offended. "I didn't write this."

Next to him, Thalia turned her laugh into a cough hurriedly.

**Something fell to the ground next to my foot. It took all my willpower not to look. I could feel warm ooze soaking into my sock, little dying snake heads tugging at my shoelaces. **

Bianca winced. "Yuck."

**"Oh, yuck," Grover said. His eyes were still tightly closed, but I guess he could hear the thing gurgling and steaming. "Mega-yuck." **

"Gurgling and steaming?" Even Nico winced. "Gross."

**Annabeth came up next to me, her eyes fixed on the sky. She was holding Medusa's black veil. She said, "Don't move."**

**Very, very carefully, without looking down, she knelt and draped the monster's head in black cloth, then picked it up. It was still dripping green juice. **

"Shouldn't it evaporate?" Travis was puzzled.

"It's a spoil of war." Zeus spoke for the first time. "Like the pelt of the Nemean Lion."

**"Are you okay?" she asked me, her voice trembling.**

**"Yeah," I decided, though I felt like throwing up my double cheeseburger.**

"I almost forgot about the cheeseburgers." Connor wiped away an imaginary tear.

**"Why didn't ... ****why didn't the head evaporate?"**

**"Once you sever it, it becomes a spoil of war," she said. "Same as your minotaur horn. But don't unwrap the head. It can still petrify you." **

"Would have come in handy." Percy muttered.

Thalia and Annabeth nodded their agreement.

"Too bad we couldn't keep the head." Annabeth scowled pointedly.

**Grover moaned as he climbed down from the grizzly statue. He had a big welt on his forehead. His green rasta cap hung from one of his little goat horns, and his fake feet had been knocked off his hooves. The magic sneakers were flying aimlessly around his head. **

"I don't trust magic shoes." Thalia shuddered.

Connor and Travis laughed loudly. "Yeah, sorry about that."

"They bewitched her shoes." Annabeth whispered to Bianca, smirking.

**"The Red Baron," I said. "Good job, man."**

**He managed a bashful grin. "That really was not fun, though. Well, the hitting-her-with-a-stick part, that was fun. But crashing into a concrete bear? Not fun." **

"Fun?" Connor asked. "How was that _fun_?"

"How is enchanting my shoes fun?" Thalia shot back.

"Not for you, maybe." Travis winked.

**He snatched his shoes out of the air. I recapped my sword. Together, the three of us stumbled back to the warehouse.**

**We found some old plastic grocery bags behind the snack counter and double-wrapped Medusa's head. We plopped it on the table where we'd eaten dinner and sat around it, too exhausted to speak. **

"Of course you're exhausted, you just killed Medusa!" Aphrodite said sympathetically.

**Finally I said, "So we have Athena to thank for this monster?" Annabeth flashed me an irritated look. "Your dad, actually. Don't you remember? Medusa was Poseidon's girlfriend. They decided to meet in my mother's temple. That's why Athena turned her into a monster. Medusa and her two sisters who had helped her get into the temple, they became the three gorgons. That's why Medusa wanted to slice me up, but she wanted to preserve you as a nice statue. She's still sweet on your dad. You probably reminded her of him." **

Athena smirked uncharacteristically.

**My face was burning. "Oh, so now it's my fault we met Medusa." **

"You refused to leave." Bianca told Percy.

"Thanks." He said sarcastically.

**Annabeth straightened. In a bad imitation of my voice, she said: "'It's just a photo, Annabeth. ****What's the harm?'"**

**"Forget it," I said. "You're impossible."**

**"You're insufferable." **

"You sound like a five-year olds." Ares snickered.

** "You're—"**

**"Hey!" Grover interrupted. "You two are giving me a migraine, and satyrs don't even get migraines. What are we going to do with the head?" **

"At least the satyr has some sense." Artemis murmured to herself.

**I stared at the thing. One little snake was hanging out of a hole in the plastic. The words printed on the side of the bag said: WE APPRECIATE YOUR BUSINESS! **

"What business?" Bianca wondered.

"Turning into cement." Nico suggested.

**I was angry, not just with Annabeth or her mom, but with all the gods for this whole quest, for getting us blown off the road and in two major fights the very first day out from camp. At this rate, we'd never make it to L.A. alive, much less before the summer solstice. **

"I think that was the plan." Ares growled, pleased with all these feuding relatives.

**What had Medusa said? _"Do not be a pawn of the Olympians, my dear. You would be better off as a statue."_ **

Artemis smiled.

**I got up. "I'll be back." **

"This is where it gets good." PJO Annabeth reassured Nico next to her before she remembered that everyone else could hear her.

**"Percy," Annabeth called after me. "What are you—"**

**I searched the back of the warehouse until I found Medusa's office. Her account book showed her six most recent sales, all shipments to the Underworld to decorate Hades and Persephone's garden. **

"Not that again." Hades grumbled. "Persephone never stops."

"At least someone in your family appreciates these things." Demeter snapped.

"Don't you start now." Hades moaned.

** According to one freight bill, the Underworld's billing address was DOA Recording Studios, West Hollywood, California. **

Hades groaned loudly. "Now I'll have _more_ of you bribing Charon to get in on your quests. Maybe I should get better security."

"You can't afford it, brother." Demeter reminded him viciously.

Hades scowled. "Has Persephone been showing you our financial records again?"

Demeter sniffed haughtily. "_Someone_ needs to take responsibility."

"I _am_ responsible!" Hades roared.

Zeus's roar matched Hades's. "Enough!"

**I folded up the bill and stuffed it in my pocket. In the cash register I found twenty dollars, a few golden drachmas, and some packing slips for Hermes Overnight Express, each with a little leather bag attached for coins. I rummaged around the rest of the office until I found the right-size box. **

"Oh no." Percy breathed as he realised what was going to happen. He couldn't stop a gleeful grin from spreading across his face.

**I went back to the picnic table, packed up Medusa's head, and filled out a delivery slip: The Gods, Mount Olympus, 600th Floor, Empire State Building New York, NY With best wishes, PERCY JACKSON **

A deadly silence crept across the room.

Hephaestus finally broke it with a rumbling laugh, and the demigods laughed along nervously. A few of the other gods joined in, but most of them glared.

** "They're not going to like that," Grover warned. "They'll think you're impertinent." **

Artemis chuckled. "Not bad. For a boy." She added.

**I poured some golden drachmas in the pouch. As soon as I closed it, there was a sound like a cash register. The package floated off the table and disappeared with a pop! "I am impertinent," I said. **

Hera sniffed, but remained silent. She hadn't spoken in a long while, and appeared to be silently brooding.

**I looked at Annabeth, daring her to criticize.**

**She didn't. She seemed resigned to the fact that I had a major talent for ticking off the gods. **

"Well done!" Travis and Connor cheered, hooting wildly.

**"Come on," she muttered. "We need a new plan." **

PJO Annabeth looked up. "The chapter ends there."

"Do we have a volunteer?" Apollo asked brightly. "How about you?" He gestured at Hera.

She was taken aback. "Me?"

"Yeah." He floated the book over to her, and lounged back in his seat with a lazy grin. "It's your turn, Your Highness."

Hera was displeased, but she could hardly refuse. Fighting back a scowl, she smoothed the page and began to read.

* * *

><p><strong>WOW. Okay that took a good part of my weekend and all of my free time so far! I have a feeling this may be one of the longest chapters ever. I tried to give all the characters a fair share of lines, and I'm not sure whether I'm satisified with how this turned out.<strong>

**SO WHAT I WANTED TO ASK WAS**

**I've gotten quite a few people asking me to write an AU fanfic tracing the background of the AU characters in this fanfiction- like Thalia Grace and the Lightning Thief (for example) Now I don't mind doing that, but I want to make it clear that if I do that, then the updates for this fanfiction will become even _less _regular.**

**Do you still want me to write one? Tell me in a review, or feel free to PM me :)**

**Just review anyway? :3**


	14. Enchilada Boy

**I know it's been, like, maaaany months :S But this story is not easy to update, _especially_ if I want to keep it as interesting as possible. The first few chapters came out in quick succession because they're just mostly humorous, and I feel that my later chapters are better. And anyway, I don't have the time I had back then, when I had like *proper* summer holidays xD**

**Okay, so I have decided NOT to do the AU fanfic, because firstly, not everyone wants me to, as I originally thought. Secondly, the point of the fun with all these references is that you don't understand them, and thirdly, I doubt I'll have the time.**

**But if I did, for some reason, begin the AU fanfic, it would _not_ follow the same plot as the PJO series. Maybe if I finish my other PJO fanfic (Mind and Body), or/and my Harry Potter fanfic (The Hunt for the Mary-Sue's) I'll consider writing an AU fanfic. But I'm making no promises!**

**(P.S: I'm shamelessly self-promoting those fanfictions of mine because they are my favourites xD)**

**And in response to Searox's review, from the PJO-universe, Bianca is from the Titan's Curse, right before her death. All the other PJO characters are from the Lost Hero, but _before_ they find Jason and after Percy's gone missing.**

**And to everyone else, thank you SO SO MUCH for reviewing! Cookie for you :3 (I just really like cookies xD)**

**Ahaha so I'll start writing this now and try to finish as soon as I can ;)**

* * *

><p><em>Enchilada Boy<em>

Hera glared at Apollo a little balefully. "We get advice from a poodle."

Connor guffawed. "The titles of the chapters are the funniest bits of your book, Perce!"

"Don't call me Perce." He grumbled, not bothering to remind everyone for the umpteenth time that it wasn't _his_ book.

Before Hera could continue, a flash of light appeared, and another figure materialised on the floor, just as PJO Annabeth had. Except that this figure had hooves.

"Grover?" PJO Annabeth was delighted.

The satyr stumbled to his feet, gaping around the room. "Er..."

Hades groaned audibly. "Someone needs to keep the Oracle under control."

"Oh, and you'd know?" Apollo asked sarcastically.

Most of the gods looked displeased with another new arrival, but the demigods were fascinated. With the exception of Sally, Bianca and PJO Annabeth, none of them had ever seen Grover.

"Perrrrrrrrcy!" He bleated, relieved to see Percy alive and well. And then he noticed the two Annabeths. "Woah. What's going on?"

PJO Annabeth explained the situation as briefly as she could.

"Son of Athena?" Grover guffawed, before clapping a hand to his mouth as he remembered whose presence he was in.

"Is it that unbelievable?" Percy asked peevishly.

PJO Annabeth smiled knowingly.

"So..." Grover gestured at the books. "These are..."

"About us." PJO Annabeth confirmed. "And Bianca. And Sally."

Grover's eyes widened as he noticed Bianca for the first time, and he took the empty seat next to her. She smiled at him, and he reflected on how surreal the whole situation was.

But he had learnt to expect the unexpected after spending a few years in Percy's company.

Hera cleared her throat. "_If_ you don't mind, I'm going to read now."

Nobody could argue with that.

"We get advice from a poodle." She repeated.

**We were pretty miserable that night. **

"What night?" Grover interrupted.

"After Medusa." Bianca told him quickly, before Hera could snap at the interruption so early on in the chapter.

**We camped out in the woods, a hundred yards from the main road, in a marshy clearing that local kids had obviously been using for parties. The ground was littered with flattened soda cans and fast-food wrappers. **

"Sounds like Grover's food problem is solved." Connor winked at the satyr in question.

Grover wasn't sure whether to laugh, or be offended, so he settled with an ambiguous expression.

**We'd taken some food and blankets from Aunty Em's, but we didn't dare light a fire to dry our damp clothes. The Furies and Medusa had provided enough excitement for one day. We didn't want to attract anything else. **

"Did we ever get into this much trouble in a _day_?" Thalia wondered.

"Yep." Annabeth assured her.

"Only because you never listened to me." Percy reminded them.

**We decided to sleep in shifts. I volunteered to take first watch. **

"Something horrible always happens to people who take first watch." Nico muttered darkly.

**Annabeth curled up on the blankets and was snoring as soon as her head hit the ground.**

**Grover fluttered with his flying shoes to the lowest bough of a tree, put his back to the trunk, and stared at the night sky. **

"I really miss those shoes." Grover sighed. "Too bad they-"

PJO Annabeth shushed him. "Spoilers."

Hermes watched curiously.

**"Go ahead and sleep," I told him. "I'll wake you if there's trouble."**

**He nodded, but still didn't close his eyes. "It makes me sad, Percy." **

"All the trouble?" Travis joked.

"That's part of the job description." PJO Annabeth and Grover laughed together. **(AN: He isn't PJO Grover, because there is no Grover in the AU :)**

**"What does? The fact that you signed up for this stupid quest?" **

"He didn't really have a choice." Artemis purposefully stared at Mr. D.

He sighed. "We all know you disagree with my methods."

**"No. This makes me sad." He pointed at all the garbage on the ground. "And the sky. You can't even see the stars. They've polluted the sky. This is a terrible time to be a satyr." **

"Of course you can see the stars!" Nico argued.

PJO Annabeth shook her head violently. "Never say that to a satyr."

Grover satisfied himself with a glare in Nico's direction.

**"Oh, yeah. I guess you'd be an environmentalist." **

Demeter muttered something that sounded like "Insensitive."

**He glared at me. "Only a human wouldn't be. Your species is clogging up the world so fast ...**

**ah, never mind. It's useless to lecture a human. At the rate things are going, I'll never find Pan." **

"What?" Connor choked. "What kind of a pan?"

"The secret to the perfect enchilada." Travis stage-whispered.

"I don't think you cook enchiladas in a pan..." Nico trailed off.

"What about pizza?" Travis leaned over PJO Annabeth to pat Nico's shoulder. **(AN: hehe an AN again xD I just wanted to announce to everyone (and I'm very proud) that I actually have their seating arrangements mapped out in my head, so there is actually continuity okay I'm just really proud of that xD Carry on reading then!)**

Nico groaned. He should have seen that one coming.

**"Pam? Like the cooking spray?" **

"What cooking spray?" Nico was puzzled.

"Percy, I'm confused." Connor announced.

PJO Annabeth and Percy groaned simultaneously.

**"Pan!" he cried indignantly. "P-A-N. The great god Pan! What do you think I want a searcher's license for?" **

"What's a searcher's license?" Travis asked.

Thalia looked at him incredulously. "Do you _really_ not know any of this? Or are you just playing dumb?"

Travis and Connor exchanged a sly smile.

"It makes our discussions more interesting." Connor offered.

"We aren't here to discuss." Zeus rumbled.

**A strange breeze rustled through the clearing, temporarily overpowering the stink of trash and muck. It brought the smell of berries and wildflowers and clean rainwater, things that might've once been in these woods. Suddenly I was nostalgic for something I'd never known. **

"Why doesn't that happen to me when I'm stuck in trash and muck?" Thalia grumbled. "It would be nice to not smell that."

**"Tell me about the search," I said.**

**Grover looked at me cautiously, as if he were afraid I was just making fun. **

"Are you really that mean?" Bianca laughed.

Grover grinned.

**"The God of Wild Places disappeared two thousand years ago," he told me. **

"He's where the wild things are." Travis said solemnly.

**"A sailor off the coast of Ephesos heard a mysterious voice crying out from the shore, 'Tell them that the great god Pan has died!' When humans heard the news, they believed it. They've been pillaging Pan's kingdom ever since. But for the satyrs, Pan was our lord and master. He protected us and the wild places of the earth. We refuse to believe that he died. In every generation, the bravest satyrs pledge their lives to finding Pan. They search the earth, exploring all the wildest places, hoping to find where he is hidden, and wake him from his sleep." **

"Does that answer your question?" Thalia asked Travis smugly.

"Yeah." He grinned wickedly. "I have another one. Why don't our parents talk? C'mon, dad!"

The gods eyed him disapprovingly.

"Restrain yourself." Artemis advised him.

"That translates to: shut up." Hermes mumbled, thoroughly embarrassed, but a little amused.

**"And you want to be a searcher."**

**"It's my life's dream," he said. "My father was a searcher. And my Uncle Ferdinand ... the statue you saw back there—" **

"What happens to searchers?" Nico asked.

Thalia shrugged.

"You don't have Grover in this world." Bianca grinned. "Nobody ever found Pan, did they?"

"And Grover did?" Artemis asked, surveying the satyr with a new found respect.

Bianca placed a finger to her lips and smiled.

**"Oh, right, sorry."**

**Grover shook his head. "Uncle Ferdinand knew the risks. So did my dad. But I'll succeed. I'll be the first searcher to return alive."**

**"Hang on—the first?" **

"That's what they all say." Dionysus complained. "And it's more work for me when they don't come back."

**Grover took his reed pipes out of his pocket. "No searcher has ever come back. Once they set out, they disappear. They're never seen alive again." **

"Why is he taking out the reed pipes?" Travis moaned. "Is he going to play a tune?"

Grover was affronted. PJO Annabeth nudged Travis to remind him that Grover was in the very same room. Travis had the grace to blush.

**"Not once in two thousand years?" **

**"No."**

"Why does anyone even bother searching?" Connor asked, glancing at Grover apologetically.

Grover bristled. "I have to believe that. Every searcher does. It's the only thing that keeps us from despair when we look at what humans have done to the world."

Connor zipped his mouth.

**"And your dad? You have no idea what happened to him?"**

**"None." **

"Does that bother you?" Thalia was curious.

"Can we all stop interrogating the satyr?" Hera demanded.

**"But you still want to go," I said, amazed. "I mean, you really think you'll be the one to find Pan?"**

** "I have to believe that, Percy. Every searcher does. It's the only thing that keeps us from despair when we look at what humans have done to the world. I have to believe Pan can still be awakened." **

"Spot on." Travis winked, making up for his earlier offence.

**I stared at the orange haze of the sky and tried to understand how Grover could pursue a dream that seemed so hopeless. Then again, was I any better? **

"What dream?" Apollo was confused.

"To find his mother." His twin explained. "Have you been paying attention?"

He winked merrily in reply.

**"How are we going to get into the Underworld?" I asked him. "I mean, what chance do we have against a god?" **

"None at all?" Hades suggested.

**"I don't know," he admitted. "But back at Medusa's, when you were searching her office? Annabeth was telling me—" **

**"Oh, I forgot. Annabeth will have a plan all figured out." **

Thalia snickered to Percy. "Sound familiar to you?"

"I bet he has his entire life planned out." Annabeth joked.

"You say that like it's a bad thing." PJO Annabeth said, injured.

**"Don't be so hard on her, Percy. She's had a tough life, but she's a good person. After all, she forgave me..." His voice faltered.**

**"What do you mean?" I asked. "Forgave you for what?" **

"Planning out your life?" Connor joked.

Travis shook his head. "She obviously gifted him the reed pipes."

There were a few moments of silence as people tried to understand where the joke was.

**Suddenly, Grover seemed very interested in playing notes on his pipes. **

Connor and Travis exchanged a high-five.

**"Wait a minute," I said. "Your first keeper job was five years ago. Annabeth has been at camp five years. She wasn't ... I mean, your first assignment that went wrong—" **

A collective gasp of understanding ran through the room. The PJO characters smiled.

**"I can't talk about it," Grover said, and his quivering lower lip suggested he'd start crying if I pressed him. "But as I was saying, back at Medusa's, Annabeth and I agreed there's something strange going on with this quest. Something isn't what it seems." **

"Everything is not what it seems!" Connor started to sing.

Everyone in the room paused to stare at him. He raised his hands defensively. "Wizards of Waverly Place!" **(AN: Those of you who read "Mind and Body" will know that I have this song stuck in my head xD )**

**"Well, duh. I'm getting blamed for stealing a thunderbolt that Hades took." **

Hades grumbled. "Always blaming me. War amongst the mortals? It's Hades' fault. Someone got kidnapped? Hades' fault. Something happened?-"

"Hades' fault." Bianca finished with a giggle.

**"That's not what I mean," Grover said. "The Fur—The Kindly Ones were sort of holding back. Like Mrs. Dodds at Yancy Academy ... why did she wait so long to try to kill you? Then on the bus, they just weren't as aggressive as they could've been." **

"He actually sounds upset that you weren't killed." Bianca punched Grover playfully.

He bleated. "That's not true!"

**"They seemed plenty aggressive to me." **

Artemis couldn't hold herself back. "If _I_ were allowed to intervene at Camp..."

"You'd renovate the whole place." Apollo interrupted. "Out with the boys, and in with the ladies! Replace all the dangerous things with even more dangerous things and-"

"Enough." Artemis glared at him.

Apollo shrugged. "You know the rules, sis. You choose the Hunters, we choose Camp."

**Grover shook his head. "They were screeching at us: 'Where is it? Where?'" **

"Why do you have to use the word _screeching_?" Annabeth complained. "I can't take you seriously."

**"Asking about me," I said. **

**"Maybe ... but Annabeth and I, we both got the feeling they weren't asking about a person. ****They said 'Where is it?' They seemed to be asking about an object."**

**"That doesn't make sense." **

"Why don't we blame Hades?" Hades grumbled under his breath, annoyed at the bad light he was being portrayed in.

Bianca rolled her eyes and caught her brother's eye.

"Drama queen." He mouthed silently.

**"I know. But if we've misunderstood something about this quest, and we only have nine days to find the master bolt..." He looked at me like he was hoping for answers, but I didn't have any. **

**I thought about what Medusa had said: I was being used by the gods. What lay ahead of me was worse than petrification.**

"One does not simply walk into the Underworld." Thalia winked.

The reference whizzed past Hades, and he took Thalia all too literally. "That's what you'd think."

** "I haven't been straight with you," I told Grover. "I don't care about the master bolt. I agreed to go to the Underworld so I could bring back my mother."**

Sally smiled to herself.

**Grover blew a soft note on his pipes. "I know that, Percy. But are you sure that's the only reason?"**

"I like Grover." Travis announced proudly.

**"I'm not doing it to help my father. He doesn't care about me. I don't care about him."**

"Ouch." Poseidon winced, only half-joking.

**Grover gazed down from his tree branch. "Look, Percy, I'm not as smart as Annabeth. I'm not as brave as you. But I'm pretty good at reading emotions. You're glad your dad is alive. You feel good that he's claimed you, and part of you wants to make him proud. That's why you mailed Medusa's head to Olympus. You wanted him to notice what you'd done."**

"Or you just wanted to piss the gods off really badly." Apollo winked. "I like that attitude, kid."

**"Yeah? Well maybe satyr emotions work differently than human emotions. Because you're wrong. I don't care what he thinks."**

**Grover pulled his feet up onto the branch. "Okay, Percy. Whatever."**

"Yeah. Pfft." Connor waved a hand dismissively. "Like, whatever."

"_So_ not funny." Travis muttered to him.

**"Besides, I haven't done anything worth bragging about. We barely got out of New York and we're stuck here with no money and no way west."**

**Grover looked at the night sky, like he was thinking about that problem. "How about I take first watch, huh? You get some sleep."**

**I wanted to protest, but he started to play Mozart, soft and sweet, and I turned away, my eyes stinging. After a few bars of Piano Concerto no. 12, I was asleep. **

"I can't believe I slept through that." PJO Annabeth shook her head.

"The conversation?" Percy asked. "Or the reed pipes?"

"Both." She laughed.

**In my dreams, I stood in a dark cavern before a gaping pit. Gray mist creatures churned all around me, whispering rags of smoke that I somehow knew were the spirits of the dead.**

"Nico." Travis wagged a finger at him. "Children shouldn't play with dead things." **(AN: heheh Supernatural ;)**

**They tugged at my clothes, trying to pull me back, but I felt compelled to walk forward to the very edge of the chasm. Looking down made me dizzy.**

**The pit yawned so wide and was so completely black, I knew it must be bottomless. Yet I had a feeling that something was trying to rise from the abyss, something huge and evil. **

Zeus and Poseidon exchanged a glance.

**"The little hero," an amused voice echoed far down in the darkness. "Too weak, too young, but perhaps you will do."  
><strong>

"Who are they calling weak?" Annabeth pretended to be offended. "Surely not Percy!"

"Hah." He said sarcastically.

**The voice felt ancient—cold and heavy. It wrapped around me like sheets of lead.**

"Sheets of lead?" Athena raised an eyebrow.

"Interesting analogy." Percy agreed, grinning.

**"They have misled you, boy," it said. "Barter with me. I will give you what you want."**

**A shimmering image hovered over the void: my mother, frozen at the moment she'd dissolved in a shower of gold. Her face was distorted with pain, as if the Minotaur were still squeezing her neck. Her eyes looked directly at me, pleading: "Go!" I tried to cry out, but my voice wouldn't work.**

**Cold laughter echoed from the chasm.**

"Muahaha-" Travis began, but Connor cut him short.

"Dude." Connor shook his head. "You cannot do the evil laugh."

"Like you can." Travis retorted.

**An invisible force pulled me forward. It would drag me into the pit unless I stood firm.**

**"Help me rise, boy." The voice became hungrier. "Bring me the bolt. Strike a blow against the treacherous gods!" **

"Everyone just automatically assumes that I... _he_ has the bolt." Percy complained.

"Enough interruptions!" Hera ordered, peeved.

**The spirits of the dead whispered around me, "No! Wake!" **

"Who are the asking to wake?" Grover asked Percy. "You? Or the thing in the pit?"

Percy shrugged.

** The image of my mother began to fade. The thing in the pit tightened its unseen grip around me.**

**I realized it wasn't interested in pulling me in. It was using me to pull itself out. **

"Creepy." Thalia commented.

"When is it not?" Annabeth muttered cynically.

**"Good," it murmured. "Good."**

**"Wake!" the dead whispered. "Wake!" Someone was shaking me.**

"This sounds like a really weird zombie movie." Grover bleated.

**My eyes opened, and it was daylight.**

**"Well," Annabeth said, "the zombie lives." **

PJO Annabeth laughed. "Pretty accurate description."

Grover grinned.

"Well done, Enchilada Boy!" Travis cheered.

**I was trembling from the dream. I could still feel the grip of the chasm monster around my chest. "How long was I asleep?"**

**"Long enough for me to cook breakfast." Annabeth tossed me a bag of nacho-flavored corn chips from Aunty Em's snack bar. "And Grover went exploring. Look, he found a friend." **

"Fish are friends." Connor began solemnly, but stopped as Hera glared at him threateningly.

**My eyes had trouble focusing.**

**Grover was sitting cross-legged on a blanket with something fuzzy in his lap, a dirty, unnaturally pink stuffed animal.**

**No. It wasn't a stuffed animal. It was a pink poodle. **

"Do poodles even come in pink?" Apollo wondered.

Artemis sighed.

**The poodle yapped at me suspiciously. Grover said, "No, he's not." **

"Are you talking to the poodle?" Bianca asked, fascinated.

Grover winked.

**I blinked. "Are you ... talking to that thing?"**

**The poodle growled. **

"I think the thing talks back." Nico joked.

**"This thing," Grover warned, "is our ticket west. Be nice to him." **

"Him?" Connor asked incredulously. "The pick poodle is a him?"

"Sexist." PJO Annabeth rolled her eyes in irritation.

**"You can talk to animals?"**

**Grover ignored the question. "Percy, meet Gladiola. Gladiola, Percy." **

"Who names a pink male poodle _Gladiola_?" Travis demanded.

**I stared at Annabeth, figuring she'd crack up at this practical joke they were playing on me, but she looked deadly serious.**

**"I'm not saying hello to a pink poodle," I said. "Forget it." **

A few people snorted.

"I don't think I've ever said hello to a pink poodle." Annabeth laughed.

**"Percy," Annabeth said. "I said hello to the poodle. You say hello to the poodle."**

**The poodle growled. **

"Scared of a poodle, Jackson?" Ares sneered.

"It _is_ a pretty unfriendly poodle." Aphrodite defended.

**I said hello to the poodle.**

**Grover explained that he'd come across Gladiola in the woods and they'd struck up a conversation. The poodle had run away from a rich local family, who'd posted a $200 reward for his return. Gladiola didn't really want to go back to his family, but he was willing to if it meant helping Grover. **

"Pretty nice poodle." Grover grinned.

**"How does Gladiola know about the reward?" I asked. **

**"He read the signs," Grover said. "Duh." **

"Like, _duh_." Connor snorted.

**"Of course," I said. "Silly me."**

**"So we turn in Gladiola," Annabeth explained in her best strategy voice, "we get money, and we buy tickets to Los Angeles. Simple." **

"Kudos for being the only demigods to get help from a pink poodle." Hermes winked cheerfully.

**I thought about my dream—the whispering voices of the dead, the thing in the chasm, and my mother's face, shimmering as it dissolved into gold. All that might be waiting for me in the West.**

**"Not another bus," I said warily. **

"Don't tell me you ride on the poodle." Travis gaped.

"Sweet ride!" Connor exclaimed, leaning across to exchange a high-five with his brother.

**"No," Annabeth agreed.**

**She pointed downhill, toward train tracks I hadn't been able to see last night in the dark.**

**"There's an Amtrak station half a mile that way. According to Gladiola, the westbound train leaves at noon." **

"The chapter ends there." Hera put the book down with relief.

"Grover's next!" Travis said immediately.

"Blaa ha haa!" The satyr laughed nervously. "No- I couldn't- Um-"

Hera passed the book to Grover. "Just read."

With a baleful glare at Travis, Grover turned to the next page.

* * *

><p><strong>PHEW<strong>

***wipes imaginary bead of sweat***

**That. Took. So. Long.**

**I got a new laptop as well, and the keyboard is _so_ confusing! I can barely type!**

**But YAY I finally got this chapter up! So thank you _everyone_ who's stuck with this story for however long, because I _really_ can't believe that you guys are so wonderful :D Cookie for you! :3**

**PLEASE leave a review? I would *so* appreciate it!**


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